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Zoningout

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Someone Else

Unless there's something else I don't know about the situation, "I am not currently interested in romance."  Anyone who keeps pushing after that, pure and simple, does not respect you.  Lots and lots and lots of people use that phrase all simply because they're not in the dating mood.  " I am not interested in dating right now."  

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1 hour ago, Moonman said:

Maybe it's just part of your counselling, like there is something he feels you need to experience before you can progress further.

maybe, but i'm not romantic so not really valid 

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@Someone Else is right. Counsellor or not, this guy needs to respect your boundaries. He is there to help you, not the other way around. If just telling him that you're not interested in dating right now and don't want to discuss the subject, isn't enough to get him to back off, then you need to find a different counsellor. I'm not saying that he's a bad person, or even a bad counsellor, but if he can't respect you and your wishes, then he may not be the right counsellor for you. You said you are probably going to get a different counsellor - that may be for the best. In the mean time, just tell him what you told us; that you don't want to talk about romance, or you love life. You can explain that it makes you feel uncomfortable if you like, but don't feel compelled to offer a reason. The fact that you don't want to should be enough. As long as you say everything in a polite tone, he should have no reason to be offended. If he gets offended anyway, that's his problem, not yours.  

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I feel like with an LGBT counselor, the topic of love/romance will eventually come up. Just tell him straight up that you're not interested in dating/romance... or that you might be ace/aro, or that you want to take your time with dating and not feel pressured into it, or whatever your reasons are for not wanting to talk about it.

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fatal flower-boy
On 6/10/2017 at 7:03 PM, Moonman said:

Maybe it's just part of your counselling, like there is something he feels you need to experience before you can progress further.

I agree with this. He may be probing to find out your behavior/responses to certain situations? My counselor does this even though she knows I'm uncomfortable with some things, but when she does bring up topics like those, it allows me to really think about things. But if you're reALLY REALLY uncomfortable you should tell him that. 

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10 minutes ago, fatal flower-boy said:

I agree with this. He may be probing to find out your behavior/responses to certain situations? My counselor does this even though she knows I'm uncomfortable with some things, but when she does bring up topics like those, it allows me to really think about things. But if you're reALLY REALLY uncomfortable you should tell him that. 

I don't think he is it's possible but i don't see a reason why he would? 

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I would try just saying that you are not interested in dating or romance - you can give a reason if you want, but you don't have to - and that you just don't place the importance on it that other people do, so it's not something you want to talk about.  You're therapist is there to help you, so if you say this he should be understanding and not try to ask when it's clear you don't want him to.  Just be polite, and he shouldn't have reason to take offense if he's being a good therapist.

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He may be a good fellow and you like him -- but counselors are not supposed to  keep pushing you to do something you neither intend nor  want to do.  It doesn't matter if they think you need to do something; you are the client and you are the one who decides what you do.   Ask him to stop doing that.  If he refuses, or tries to guilt you out for not doing it, he's really not helping you.  

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fatal flower-boy
49 minutes ago, Zoningout said:

I don't think he is it's possible but i don't see a reason why he would? 

Hmph. Don't know really. Maybe ask him? Like, "Why are you asking these questions?.. I don't like them" Lol, idk

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