screm Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I'm a really physically affectionate person- my girlfriend, sometimes, but not as much. I think I make her uncomfortable with the level of affection that I give to her and other people, and sometimes I feel bad cause she isn't outwardly reciprocating feelings and stuff. What are normal physical boundaries? How do I strike a balance between what we're bkth comfortable with? Link to post Share on other sites
JayDee1212 Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I don't think there's such a thing as "normal physical boundaries", everyone has different limits of what they are comfortable with. I would honestly just have an honest conversation, tell her that you understand that she's not as physically affectionate as you and that's okay, and ask her to be honest about her boundaries. I would ask her if it's the frequency that bothers her, or maybe specific acts she'd like to avoid, or maybe if she needs a certain amount of "touch-free" time to just be by herself. Again, I would just encourage honesty, and make sure she knows it's okay and that you understand her need for boundaries. Of course, you can tell her your own desires for physical intimacy, and why that contact is so important to you. But at the end of the day, just assure her that you will respect her wishes, and hopefully she will be able to open up to you. Link to post Share on other sites
In_Omnia_Paratus Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 I couldn't agree with JayDee more. Link to post Share on other sites
borkfork Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 Everyone has their own boundaries and style. Both of you could benefit from learning about the five love languages. Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted June 10, 2017 Share Posted June 10, 2017 3 hours ago, screm said: I'm a really physically affectionate person- my girlfriend, sometimes, but not as much. I think I make her uncomfortable with the level of affection that I give to her and other people, and sometimes I feel bad cause she isn't outwardly reciprocating feelings and stuff. What are normal physical boundaries? How do I strike a balance between what we're bkth comfortable with? Talk to her! Same situation here. I go to give her a kiss, as a sign of me liking her and wanting to say through the kiss : i love you, i am happy to be with you/see you, i will still love you when i am off to work and i will be happy to come back. ...but she often doesnt kiss back and just leans her forehead forward, so that I can only kiss that. To me, it feels like a rejection. The case is the same when I give her a hug, she kind of wiggles out of it, if it is more than a second. I want to be better at wording out, what I feel at that moment or maybe before the moment, instead of building up inside and suddenly cry and say "you never want to kiss me, dont you love me!" Perhaps if I said: "can I have a real kiss" or "I need a good hug", because she say that she doesnt mind and she says that she doesnt think about it, when she "rejects" me?! Link to post Share on other sites
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