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Soldier455

Do people know you are Asexual in real life?

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Lifesaver

I have told two very close friends about being Ace and have told one of them that I am questioning being panromantic. They are super suportive. I try to avoid the topic at work (they are caring but man can they be pushy) and I have not told my parents outright. I have told Mom about not wanting kids and she starts the 'I didn't want kids either until...' so I just don't see it being worth the discussion. 

 

I am pretty private and would rather not discuss personal things, but it would help to be more upfront with dating (that could have gone better)

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Kanna.

I've never used the word asexual when talking about it, but my family and friends know I'm not interested in sexual (or romantic) relationships, and have accepted that now. They've stopped saying "it's just a phase", at least. So I guess technically yes?

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Linzi82

My family and some friends know. However, I still get asked when I'll settle down with someone and start a family by some older members of the family. My mother accepted long before I realised I was asexual that, while I might get married at some point in the future, grandchildren would happen as a very remote possibility when hell freezes over.

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melisestel

I told one friend just yesterday and she was so amazing and supportive. I was really glad that I picked her to tell first because the positive experience has me feeling more confident about telling my two best friends and my immediate family also.

I know that they will eventually be supportive (some of them are LGB) but because there isn't as much awareness about asexuality (I didn't even know it existed until a few weeks ago) I'm dreading the potential unintentionally dissmissive questions and having to explain asexuality. But telling my one friend yesterday helped immensely.

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KRISACE

My mother, little sister and three close friends know about it, but I'm pretty sure a few have found out through my tumblr..

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AwkwardAxolotl

I'm out as asexual to most people I know.

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Pramana

I write and talk about asexuality a fair amount, although I think that for most people I know, it just meshes into their overall impression of me as someone who pursues an alternative lifestyle in various respects.

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Unruly_Wookie

I've just recently made the association that I am asexual and so far I don't feel the need to "come out" as such. The way I'm looking at it with my family and friends is that it's my business. 

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Keilah

The only person who knows that I'm asexual is my brother and my mom. When I first figured out that I was asexual, I told my mom in an email from college. Let's just say her response is why my brother is the only other RL person I've told (she pretty much hit all the usual denials in 'You're-Not-Asexual Bingo').

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Beaver Boy

I've told two friends who were quite supportive and I told my mom who was really understanding. I feel like I've been very fortunate. I'm going to start wearing a black ring soon!

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FizzyJelly

No one knows in real life and I don't intend to tell anyone who I currently know.

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Poseidon

I think my mum probably suspects I'm a bit different, I think she realizes she won't get any grandchildren out of me any time soon!  And my previous relationship partners all came to find out.  Honestly it doesn't crop up in my day-to-day life - it doesn't get in the way of my life in anyway so there is no reason at all for people to know IRL.

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KayBayKitty

I ususally don't bring it up on my own, but if anyone ever asks, I tell them. My sister knows, her best friend (also my friend) knows. I am part of an incredible group of people who are all super accepting, and in fact one of them is ace as well. I've kind of told a friend who's outside that group, but she didn't really understand or take it seriously, and used the common "you'll get it when you're older" line. Another friend kinda knows that I don't really experience sexual attraction, but I haven't told her yet in words.

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LeDeer

Nobody IRL knows about my asexuality right now, and the only people I feel enough "safe" to tell my orientation are my close friends. Whenever we'll end up talking about sexuality I would probably reveal my own.

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Lifesaver

Found out today that one friend's hubby googled my ring and never said anything as I never bring it up. I only found out today. Does that count?

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Emmi

I came out to my close friends, but with my family.... I'm kind of scared? I don't really know if it will change anything... My family is are big believers in abstinence, and I am too, so I don't think telling them I'm ace will do anything but confuse them. I would have to go into this epic monologue about the difference between sexual and romantic attraction and whatnot, so I don't think I'm going to tell them. Yet.

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cinary

My best firend and a classmate knows, but I'm not really hiding and if someone asked me or it came out in a conversation I'd just say I'm aro ace. I'm not coming out to my family yet, because it would be pointless right now.

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krystal_muzik

I haven't formally "come out". But, I am sure they suspect something and talk junk about me behind my back lol. They probably think I am gay.

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Awkward Potato

I've told five people in total. Two close friends from school, a friend from work, and two girls at a summer school I went to. 

My two friends had heard the term before and were fine, and even excited for me. The friend from work was indifferent and the girls from summer school were an accident but over all everyone I've told seems to be cool with it.

I'm not sure if I'm ever really going to tell my parents though. I know for almost certain that my dad will say that it's not real and I'll grow out of it and my mom will probably just agree with him, I'm not comfortable enough to get into a fight about this with them.

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Kamkyo

I 'came out' on facebook earlier this year and have generally been fairly open about it when asked, so yes. There's quite a few people (including my family) who know, even if they dont really understand it.

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Elden

I'm open about it, but I don't know whether the people around me really comprehend what it means.

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StrangerThing

I think my mom suspects it and probably did before I knew myself.  After all, I haven't seriously dated anyone in over 13 years.  I haven't said anything but I may eventually tell her.  I haven't shared with any of my friends.  My 'closest' friends all live far away, but I will be seeing them next week.  This group is extremely open minded and won't care at all.  I think I'm going to tell them (at least some of them) then.

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miettaisace

i came out to my mother when i was 11 and to my dad a couple months after. Then i told my grandma. my brother found out somehow i guess. but other than that i keep it pretty well hidden. 

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will123
On 6/19/2017 at 1:58 AM, globetrotter85 said:

No, nobody in my life knows. Well, I haven't told anyone anyway. My mum might have known... I kind of hinted at it a few times, but now I wish I'd actually told her, and talked about it with her properly. She would have been supportive and done her best to understand, because she was just like that. But she's dead now, so I lost my chance. 

So I'm not sure I will ever tell anyone to be honest. Though it would be a relief to get it off my chest. But I almost feel like it would be easier to come out as something else (other than asexual) because, if you tell someone you're a lesbian for example, most people will understand what that means without having to ask, but if you tell them you're asexual you're highly likely to have to try and explain it. And I suspect that if I told people I was a lesbian and involved in a sexual relationship with another woman they'd probably far less shocked than if I told them I'm actually a 31 year old virgin! 

That's probably true.

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will123
On 8/20/2017 at 11:50 PM, krystal_muzik said:

I haven't formally "come out". But, I am sure they suspect something and talk junk about me behind my back lol. They probably think I am gay.

Sounds like my sister in law. I've had female friends but never been intimate (the 55 year old virgin. She apparently told my mother that I'm probably gay. My mother told my brother afterwards and he freaked out on his wife.

 

As far as my parents (and my brother are concerned I'm happy (I haven't come out to them and probably never will) and that's all that matters. My brother once said that me being single probably saved me a lot of BS over the years. I'll take that as a yes LOL.

 

At my age I don't get any questions about relationships, so I don't feel the need to come out to people explaining my singleness. About 15 years ago (before I found out AVEN) a childhood friend's wife innocently asked me about my situation. At the time I didn't really know what was up with me. I just told her that I was busy a lot and didn't really feel that I had the time to pursue a true relationship. That and there were a lot of divorced/separated co-workers around me (about 50%) so that kind of put me off marriage. 

 

I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable telling them as I feel looking back knowing what I know now, I was lying to her. As it is, I only recently came out to another childhood friend and they were fine with it.

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Jackninja5

People are starting to know about it.

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neecee

Only a couple of my friends know I'm ace. 

As for the others in my life like my parents, I've never exclusively told them, but I don't think it'd be too big of a shock if I did.  

I've rarely talked about having any interest in other people, and me being single seems to just be the norm to them. 

 

If there's anyone I'd want to tell as of right now, it would be my sister.

Last time we had a discussion about sexuality, it was several years ago back when I thought I was bi, so I'd wanna clarify that now that I know more about my asexuality!

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AwfulHoneymoon

Told a a few friends (generally when several drinks down). My best friend was kind of sceptical about it, and forgets, which pissed me off a little, but not so much that it spoiled the friendship. Mind you, I use a LOT of bawdy sexual humour (and am romantically attracted to women), so she may not have been able to square that with my being ace. One other friend was completely nonplussed (which was good), and the other two were supportive, not entirely surprised, and impelled to do a little of their own research. 

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Lichley

My friend asked me about my asexuality ring... "My time has come, I shall go forth and educate"

She seemed cool about it, :D

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