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Do people know you are Asexual in real life?


Soldier455

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Only 2 of my sisters know. And i told an old classmate of mine from elementary school on chat.. and It didn't end well. He was a fkboy so he basically wanted it from me even though i told him i don't feel sexually attraction. 2 of my sisters don't really care. I found AVEN from one of them so... And my other sister doesn't really care or listen to what i say. To me, that's acceptance already xD I'm sure she doesn't want to engage in those stuff either. So does my siblings! (That's what led me to think that everyone was kinda asexual ever since i was a kid)

I lowkey told my 1st sister and she just told me that i was just young and yet she told me afterwards that she doesn't feel it too 0-0 like what

Other than that, i told my mom that i don't like those sex stuff. And she was just like "that's good" (= it means that i'm going to be less in trouble ;) i'm thinking she might be ace too. She mentioned that people have sex because it was out of curiosity so that's what led me to assume that she might be. 

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Not really, My Cousin knows that I am Asexual and believes me and I have came out to my dad but he doesn’t believe me so I think this doesn’t count.

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My ex-flatmates and housemates know I'm ace. I "accidentally" outed myself to  my sister as I forgot to take my ace ring off before I went to visit her; she didn't even question it, as I believe she's on the a-spectrum as well. My close and extended family that's a no, as I'm not sure how supportive they'd be, like they won't believe that asexuality is a real thing etc etc. I've always said I've never wanted kids, and when it's brought up, the conversation usually goes like this:

Spoiler

Family Member: Do you think you'd want kids in the future?
Me: No, no way. I'm perfectly happy being child-less, if I did want a child I'd probably adopt anyways.

FM: But what happens if you find "Mr.Right"? 

M: Well, still wouldn't want a kid which is biologically mine. Why would I want to bring another life into this world when there isn't enough resources for everyone right now?

FM: .... Oh, things might change?

M: Oh, I highly doubt that. 

FM: Riiight, I'll ask you in a couple of years, as I bet your opinion will have changed.

M: Mhm..... Sure thing. You keep thinking that.

I've been asked about having kids since on and off since I was 16? It got much worse when I started going out with my then boyfriend (I was 17/18 at the time). I'm not sure why they can't accept I won't have a child, I've just never seen the appeal for having a kid. 🤷

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My parents know I'm ace, my best friend from high school (who introduced me to Asexuality and is also ace) knows, my ex boyfriend and current boyfriend know, all the friends I made in NC after I moved from FL know, and one person at my current university knows. I've also told various people I'm gay (homoromantic, same dif), and have worn an ace ring to class several times (but I'm paranoid my finger will swell and I won't be able to remove it so I stopped). I think it's common knowledge I'm gay? Idk? But not that I'm ace because well... not as obvious and people don't know about it.

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I've only told one person that I'm asexual. If I tell any others, it's a very short list (family not being part of that list). 

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Funny story:

A couple months after I realized my sexuality (or lack thereof), I kinda forgot to come out. I told my closest friends, but that was the extent. My parents, however, didn’t know that I was (and okay with being) a genetic dead end. Eventually, I saw some ace merch so I sent a picture to my mom asking her to buy it for me. Turns out I wasn’t out yet... whoops! Anyway, now, most people just shrug it off because they don’t understand and end up forgetting until I have to reexplain everything.

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I assume that there is talk behind closed doors, but I have only said the word "asexual" out loud to one living person, my sister, who is probably on the spectrum.  Most just think I'm hetero and frustrated (lol) or very closeted gay (if I were gay I'd be out.) I also have aspbergers so the family assumes I can't tell when women are making advances, and thus just blow all my chances (I encourage this rumor.)

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I did describe aromantic asexuality to a friend 16 years ago to a friend in high school during a visit.

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Most pekple I know don't know I'm ace. When I first discovered I was ace, I tried to be more open, however the few I told, majority were bad reactions that made me clam up. Worst thing is those bad reactions came from lgbt friendly people (though the positive reactions came from other lgbt friendly people).

 

Now I'm looking for the oppertunity to be open again, but there are people I rather hear it directly from me, rather than something like a facebook post, but I don't want to force the subject. When that is achived, I'll be more open again. I've met aces who I've opened up to, and have even told a friend (one of the positive reaction people above) of a friend, all of whom have been positive about it, and got an apology from one of the bad reactors above over it as it turned out it was a very badly done joke and they were fine with it after all.

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I'm not open with it, but I also wouldn't deny if someone asked me. I also don't try to hide it and honestly, it's not difficult to figure it out (I've been once randomly called "asexual hermit"). Unless you are my relatives and you still think I'm gonna have kids and whatnot. :'D

My partner knows, but that doesn't bother him. He even likes my asexuality. One of my best friends also knows as they're also aro ace.

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People who know I'm asexual: friends, immediate family, and my therapist.

 

people who don't know I'm asexual: anyone else. 

 

Im not that vocal unless it comes to people asking if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet. Since I haven't been asked that yet, I have yet to say "no. I'm asexual. I like nobody."

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Nope, nobody in real life knows. I briefly talked about it in high school but never used the term asexuality. Being anything besides the norm here is frowned upon :/

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I came out publically about 4 years and it did feel good to finally be out and openly ace. i am not sure my parents fully undertand though, my dad certainly doesn't. I think I will be getting more invovled with the community in the new year. attending meet ups and the stuff. Bu I am out and, after 4 years of being out, I am starting to feel more and more content with who I am. I think BoJack has helped with that though too.

 

I came out after marching in London Pride as part of the AVEN group there and then posted it on Facebook and told me parents about it. The reaction was mostly positive.

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I've told a few people, but not all really accept it. My mom gave me this lecture about not labeling myself at this age, then forgot about it entirely. Only a few of my friends don't know. My parents will still occasionally talk about me getting married to some nice guy and having kids one day, to which I usually reply "Yeah, that's not happening on SO many levels."

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I came out to four of my friends yesterday and at first they didn’t really believe it and they thought it was a disease or that’s a I just hate sexual thins and that I am afraid of them and such things but with more explanation they understood and I think only two of them believes it clearly 

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At university, I'm pretty open about my asexuality--I'm pretty active in my school's aro/ace-spectrum organization and I have an ace shirt and some buttons I periodically wear around  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ It's not necessarily that I feel proud or that I have to, but more just me being indifferent ahaha.

 

At home, though.....that's a different matter, and it will likely stay that way.

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My friends know about me being ace, but alot of my family don't know that I am. My friends are pretty chill and understand the meaning behind asexuality but i do have to explain to some of them(usually just ends in me being called childish or stupid)

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Hermit Advocate

Some do, and some don't. 

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Ace Of Cake29

Yes. My friends know and my mum knows; they're all accepting so I feel better about coming out to the others. 

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I just told my mom that i didn't feel attracted to people in "that" way and she's just like "That's good. So that you're safe"

xD Supportive as fudge! I've been assaulted and sexually abused a few times. I have a few people close to me tell me that i'm just young and i'd probably find the right person or that i'm just straight. Like saying that i'm probably like this because of what i went through. I don't mind that. They assume i am because i often share what i feel about a guy i like sometimes.. like i feel something down there but i don't know what that is. It's not necessarily arousal or sexual attraction either. It's something related to it. It might be something that "develops" into full attraction. I don't want to have sex.. It's troublesome and so problematic XD

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I'm pretty open about it. If orientation comes up or I'm asked I'll say I'm a pan ace.

My family and friends know.

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My close friends are aware that I'm asexual, even when I didn't know that there was a term for it, they just knew I had no interest in sexual intercourse, I guess that's why I was so unsuccessful in relationships, I only discovered the term asexual when I got my first computer around 10 years ago (my close friends have been friends for over 30 years), they have accepted it with no problems, I did tell my family, in general, they don't bother with me as they're very narrow minded, they think I'm gay and that's such an embarrassment to the family name (my family are homophobic), which goes to show, you can pick your friends, you can't pick your family 

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I've never had a discussion about sexuality with anyone.  People know I'm single, not looking, and not interested.  What conclusion they reach from that evidence is up to them.

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SuperSpAceChips
On 11/20/2017 at 11:22 PM, spACEboi said:

My friends know about me being ace, but alot of my family don't know that I am. My friends are pretty chill and understand the meaning behind asexuality but i do have to explain to some of them(usually just ends in me being called childish or stupid)

All of my friends and my boyfriend @spACEboi here know im ace. But as for family, nobody knows. I think my mother suspects it, although i think she's kinda sad about it. I tell her i only want one kid and she tells me,

 

"You can't do that to me! I need lots of grandchildren to spoil!" 

 

to which i simply laugh. My grandmother also seems to suspect it.

Now that i mention it, i think alot of my family suspects i don't want to have sex. I don't show any interest in celebrities or anyone other than this spaceboi. I don't call people hot. They're still hoping i think because anytime i show my disinterest in having sex or having kids or when they mention so-called "cute/hot" people to me and i shrug they tell me "don't worry you're still young."

 

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My sister might know... I've never come out to her but I feel like she knows. The rest of my family do not know bout it and i am gonna keep it that way until much later on. My best friend knows about and she is perfectly fine with; she wasn't even surprised. My former friends know about it; they kind of guessed it at first and then i came out to them later on. They didn't have a problem with it either. Maybe one of my female classmate knows about it tho I'm not so sure about that. That is about it... I think

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My family just assumes I haven't found anyone and have stopped asking.  I mentioned it to a group of friends once, and they just replied with "No you're not.  You just haven't found the right woman yet." Which was followed by 45 minutes of a round robin of dating advice and awkward attempts of hooking me up with random strangers at the club.  Needless to say - I've switched to saying "I've just been single so long, I've stopped looking."  That seems to be a good enough reason that people change the topic. 

 

Its easy to say "I honestly don't know and don't care." - but when all is said and done.... the actual answer is, I don't know - but don't want to go through the same conversations and blatant disregard that usually follows saying it to anyone.

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