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First off, no one can label you but yourself so ultimately the decision is down to you. You can call yourself whatever you want. Sure, if your definition doesn't line up with others you will get some complaints, however it's your decision so you can do what you want.

 

As for your label, what it is wise to look at isn't the things that you would be wiling to do with others, rather it is what you want to do with them. For example, many gay men have sex with women before discovering that they are gay and coming out. This doesn't make them bisexual, they are indeed gay. They just were willing to do stuff with women for a time in their life. However, if they actively were attracted to women and actively wanted to do sexual things with them, then they would be bisexual. That being said, I haven't come across the homoflex label, but it sounds like you have, so if you feel it works for you, you can choose to use it. Bi-curious does, from my perspective, seem like it could work for you for now, then perhaps you keep your opinions open until you are more confident that you are gay or bisexual (though you are forever allowed to change your label as much as you want as you figure out more about yourself).

 

So, if you are asking for my perspective, I would more likely guess that you were just gay if you say you are only willing not wanting.

 

You may actually want to head over to our gender forum and post questions there too. There are a lot of trans* folks that frequent that forum and perhaps can support you more with figuring out your label if you decide to identify as trans* (though, of course, it's not a trans* forum so there are all sorts of genders in there ;)). Though you might get a few answering here too, we'll see!

 

Also, I will throw out there that this is an asexual site. Though a lot of people are knowledgable about LGBT+ stuff, it ultimately might not be the place to be asking about sexual labels such as gay or bisexual. You are ABSOLUTELY welcome here and can of course ask questions and spend time on the forums, however you might find more support and better answers on websites more dedicated to sexual labels. To be clear, I don't want you to not feel welcome here, I just want you to know we may not be the best people to be asking these questions to.

 

Hope that helped! :)

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8 hours ago, Puck said:

 

Also, I will throw out there that this is an asexual site. Though a lot of people are knowledgable about LGBT+ stuff, it ultimately might not be the place to be asking about sexual labels such as gay or bisexual. You are ABSOLUTELY welcome here and can of course ask questions and spend time on the forums, however you might find more support and better answers on websites more dedicated to sexual labels. To be clear, I don't want you to not feel welcome here, I just want you to know we may not be the best people to be asking these questions to.

 

Hope that helped! :)

Yeah, sorry, I knew it'd be a bad idea to ask on here when I thought about it ^///^; it's just that I already had an account on here, so I just did that, I don't know.

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nanogretchen4

I'm bisexual. I see no problem with asking your question, but I don't fully understand why you want to avoid calling yourself bi and pan. If it is because you are so nearly gay that you expect to have hetero encounters once in a blue moon if ever, I think it would be fine to call yourself gay and save the small print for a handful of close friends. If contrary to expectations you end up in a longterm hetero relationship, at that point you will probably want to revisit bi or pan. Alternatively, you could use the Kinsey scale to express that you are nearly gay. For example you could call yourself a Kinsey 5.

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Lol just say you're exploring your sexuality or not quite sure. Better yet, don't give yourself labels, I think we, as humans, give ourselves too many and forget to live, regardless of how we coin ourselves. :) Have a nice day.

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3 hours ago, AnonAsker said:

I give up.

Hey, don't give up. I really am sorry if you feel this way. Just because the users here don't have the information you hoped for doesn't mean it's not out there. You can still find yourself and the answers you seek. This process kind of stinks, it took me years to settle on who I was. But you can still do it, honestly :)

 

Just take a deep breath, remember that everything you are feeling is valid and allowed. Perhaps start a journal to track how you are feeling and help you express your thoughts. That's what I do when I'm dealing with stuff emotionally, I'm sometimes surprised by how much I needed to just get out.

 

AVEN will always be here to support you as much as it can, I really hope your time here helps you get to where you need to be.

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  • 2 weeks later...
ChickenPadSeeEew

'Questioning'? Or 'open' to different experiences? 

 

You probably already know this, but pan and bi don't necessarily mean equal attraction to all genders. I'm probably panromantic but I've noticed a strong leaning in one direction (toward masculine presenting folk of any gender).

 

Have you heard of omnisexual? It means not really noticing gender, seeing everyone as human, being attracted to whomever. Maybe it's not quite right. But the lack of exclusion made me think of you. 

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  • 1 month later...

I'm sorry I posted this, I know it's stupid. I just felt selfish for being only attracted to men if I'm trans because of a bad experience.

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