What identities have you used to describe yourself, which you no longer use?

[Just Me!]

The title's a little confusing. Most of society promotes a cisgendered, heterosexual/romantic culture, but the process of questioning can lead people to identify with other LGBT+ terms (or indeed, their very sexualities/genders may change). How many AVENites have experienced this?

 

Personally, I've identified as straight, pan, and demi before settling on ace (in that order), and a vague assortment of gender identities.

[Grumpy Alien]

I've previously identified as grey-a and asexual (separately) but now I don't. I don't like using labels but heterosexual would fit if I need one. My romantic and gender identities haven't changed.

[Silk Bones]

I started off thinking I was bisexual, though the sexual part never resonated with me, of course. Then it wasn't long until I found out about Pansexuality, and identified as panromantic for about three years. As for gender, I thought I was genderfluid or genderflux, but never felt comfortable with being seen as female (sex and gender wise). 

[Kelpie]

I used bi because I thought that I just liked everyone the same 

[Starfall]

I've heard of a lot of aces who used to identify as pan or bi sexual until they learned about Asexuality. That's what I did. There were aspects of both male and female appearances that I found aesthetically appealing, so I assumed this meant I was attracted to both, despite the fact that I never actually experienced any attraction. It's also part of the reason why I was sure I couldn't possibly be asexual for a long time. Brains are dumb that way.

[Guest]

I've used demisexual and lithromantic in the past.

 

Then I decided I just didn't have a clue what was going on, so I just gave up on the labels and stuff.

 

[Guest]

I have previously identified has homosexual, bisexual, and pansexual. Same with romantic orientation (though I identify as panromantic). Gender wise I identified as genderfluid in the past.

[J. van Deijck]

for the most of my life I thought I was homosexual, then I discovered asexuality. For this time I also started to think I was aromantic because I haven't had any romantic feelings for anyone, neither at that time nor in the past. in the meantime I kind of developed feelings for a girl (today I know they were platonic and not romantic, though), so I thought I was a demi-panromantic ace. just quite recently I understood that I'm actually demi-homoromantic, and probably grey ace, but since I'm not really interested in sex, it doesn't make big difference to me and identifying as ace feels pretty okay.

For gender identity, I used to think I was agender or some kind of nonbinary because of my androgynous appearance, until I understood that it's just my personal aesthetics and I am actually male (also, despite my appearance, I am pretty masculine in anything else).

[Tainted]

I identified as heterosexual, then bisexual, then back to heterosexual. I now identify as asexual, my romantic orientation is more tricky, so I have made one up til I find one that is appropriate I am in a relationship atm so it's not the most important thing for me to work out.

[Gloomy]

Heterosexual, then bisexual, then pansexual, then homosexual. I've always identified as cisgender and haven't used anything but aromantic or gray to describe my romantic orientation though. 

[SkyWorld]

I used to think I was straight by default, so I have identified as such. When I used to identify as demi/greysexual (since it was kind of difficult for me to accept my asexuality). I also used to identify as cisgender. And I used to identify as grey-romantic and aromantic, but I currently don't identify with any romantic orientation since I'm still trying to figure out if I'm grey-(pan)romantic or aromantic. :'D Though, I'm starting to think it's the former, but... *shrugs*

[Briarwood]

It took a couple of years after I discovered asexuality to have my first romantic crush, so during the period between those, I thought I was aromantic. Turns out I just don't get crushes very easily.

[cooliocool]

1. I used to avoid thinking about my sexual orientation when I was younger. First I thought I was heterosexual but I haven't met the right person yet. Then I thought I was a repressed homosexual after I realized I'm not sexually attracted to women. Then I realized I'm not sexually attracted to men either. I searched the internet and realized I'm asexual.  

2. I didn't know romantic orientation was different from sexual orientation. There was a time when I had a "questioning" romantic orientation before concluding i'm aromantic. 

3. I have always used the same identity 

[Homer]

Never gave a shit about labels.

[Skycaptain]

Always thought of myself as cisgender heterosexual, but that was a me which no longer exists 

[sgtcactus]

I always thought I was a cisgender heterosexual. Still cisgender but I'm way too old to not have sexual feelings for people. 

[Sea Lemon]

Always assumed I was cis and straight. I'm still reasonably sure I'm cis (not 100%, mind), but really I've got no idea what exactly my sexual/romantic orientations are - I identify myself as asexual right now, and I've stopped separating my sexual and romantic orientations because I just got even more confused, but who knows, things may change.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

I've tried to be (sexually and romantically) Hetero, homo, bi/pan

[WinterWanderer]

I used to think I was gray-sexual or gray-romantic. Now I think I'm just aro ace. But I don't really care about the labels anymore.

 

I used to like the idea of fitting myself into a little box. (Probably because the cake theme, shades of purple, and catchy term "ace" made asexuality something that I really wanted to identify with.) Now I'm just sort of going with the flow. If I want a relationship at some later time in my life, then cool. If I want sex, cool. It doesn't really matter what i call myself lol.

[Yinlotus93]

Only a slight change in my case i guess, I thought for the longest time that I was a hetero(not really)sexual with under developed capacity for physical attraction. Then once I found asexuality and info about romantic orientations, I started really feeling a much stronger fit saying heteroromantic to describe myself. (Since my emotional and romantic receptors have always been at the forefront long as i could remember) As of now I can't ever see myself willing to say heterosexual of myself again, since it would feel only 'half-true'.

[999papercranes]

I've always liked labels and the security of them, so my sexuality and lack thereof was always giving me fits. I get that I'm still young and I could change still too, but right now I feel the most comfortable identifying as Aro/Ace. How I identified went like this.

1- Heterosexual

2-Pansexual

3-Asexual and Panromantic

4-Asexual and Polyromantic

5-Asexual and Quoiromantic

6-Asexual and Aromantic  

[Rhyme]

Alright, here we go

 

First up was not questioning it at all, and considering myself "average" or "normal", meaning hetero. 

I began to play around with the word homo/lesbian, but it didn't quite fit.

I then realised that I don't feel much different for men/women (I didn't know there could be anything else for a while), so I secretly called myself bi/pan.

After that, I kinda figured that I don't want to have sex (hence not feeling differently about different genders) and found asexual. 

Asexual cupioromantic was next (what, sexual and romantic orientations are independent!?), but that was just because I love cuddling and figured I wanted a romantic relationship (spoiler: I didn't).

Get ready for asexual WTFromantic, because what even is romantic / platonic attraction?

(Around here is when I realised that I don't personally feel that gender is a thing (not disrespecting people who feel otherwise), so I internally call myself agender but don't really care what people call me in real life because what is gender!?)

Finally settled on asexual aromantic on 22 May this year.

 

Can you tell I'm a sucker for labels?

[miauw]

Let's first get the gender out of the way. I have never felt particularly female and sometimes don't get girly-girls at all, they seem to be from another planet. So I never had any kind of connection to my supposed gender. I have sometimes considered "agender" as a thing for me, since I definitely never felt male either, but in the end went with "Meh, who cares" and defaulted to female, even if a not feminine one. And if I sometimes like to be as androgynous as possible and have often wished that my breasts were significantly smaller leaning towards not there at all and if society's expectations of what being a female is like weigh down on me every once in a while - whatever, I prefer ignoring the concept of gender altogether, than trying to find a label for myself or explain myself to others.

 

Sexuality: I just assumed I was heterosexual for the longest time. Then I found that being asexual is a thing and it was mind-blowing. I would always be grateful that I found that label, to show me that I am not broken. I identified as grey-a, since I have kind of experienced what may be sexual attraction once or twice (but also may not actually be) and I have previously (before finding out about asexuality) even initiated sex a handful of times, so I must have felt desire, right? Right?

 

I also considered myself heteroromantic for a while, then I started to find it distressing and as if I'm limiting myself, so I dropped it. Yes, I have only ever been interested in men up to now and in most cases can't connect with females on any level whatsoever, but who knows?

 

Recently I have been seriously considering dropping the grey-a too. It's useless as a label, because it doesn't actually explain anything. Even on AVEN I would have to explain how exactly I am in the grey area, because on it's own it can mean anything. Imagine a regular person asking if you are gay or straight and you say "grey-a" - that only leads to more questions, not to understanding. I cannot even explain to myself what grey-a means to me. So what's the point?

 

Well, now that I think about it: excuse me while I go and change my profile.

[Famethyst]

I started out assuming heterosexual, then thinking I was ace, then thinking I was bisexual, then finally settling on my current identity of biromantic asexual. 

[carbomb]

Used to think I was heterosexual. Gone back and forth on thinking I was heteroromantic or aro (oh wow it just occurred to me that i'm probably grey-heteroromantic or something)

[Yatogami]

I never used to think about any of this. I was just me, and sex was non-existant in my mind, in correlation with my body. 

[Ammy-G]

Previous sexual orientation identifier: Too young to know

Previous romantic orientation identifier: Aromatic

Gender Identity: Have always identified as female, albeit an odd female

[deltaX]

For most of my life I identified as hetero by default.  Once I realized that didn't fit, I went through a period where I didn't really identify as anything before I learned about asexuality.

 

I've always identified as cis though.  I had a brief period where I considered the possibility that I might be agender because gender doesn't play a huge role in my life, but in the end I decided that changing my gender label wasn't worth the effort when I was fine being seen as the gender I was assigned.

[Guest Deus Ex Infinity]

Previous sexual orientation: Hetero- / Homosexual

Previous romantic orientation identifier:  Homoromantic

Gender Identity: Female

[Antihero.]

I thought I was sexual. Then I thought I was asexual. After that I thought I was sexual again. Until I figured there was a grey-area as well.

I always knew I was into men though that was never a question because I have never shown the slightest interest in women whatsoever.