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How not to answer a newbie


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Yes. But they're all terrible so there might as well not be.

 

 

Will my parents stop loving me if I'm aromantic and never get married?

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Enne Kristin

The befuddlement will maybe let them forget to act like they love you, and it does not actually feel like love. They will keep saying they love you, but also make strange proposals about candlelightdinners, white dresses etc...

 

I lately heard about the term "poly-romantic", do I have to date parrots and like crackers if I identify this way?

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21 minutes ago, N'y said:

 

 

I lately heard about the term "poly-romantic", do I have to date parrots and like crackers if I identify this way?

Spoilered as it's risqué, and may ruffle feathers 

 

you can always like a cockortwo

 

 

 

Seriously though, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to people on polyester clothing 

 

I've read "Fifty Shades of Grey", and liked it, how can I be asexual? 

 

 

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You just like painting.

 

How do you tell someone to go away as you are not interested in them?

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Hop on one leg, spin around three times, and shriek like Reese's monkey. Throw cake and black rings for effect.

 

Can you still be asexual if you've ever had sex?

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No. That's like breaking rule #1 in Fight Club.

 

I only think about sex when I'm at it, can I still be asexual?

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No... Isn't that what most people do?

 

 

Am I closerly realated to plants than other people?

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Ya, it's actually been scientifically proven That asexuals are genetically closer to plants then any other species on earth. Careful though, if you sit out in the sun for to long you will complete your transformation into plant form.

 

If I want kids does that mean I'm not asexual?

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Depends.  If you have to go to another country to get one, it means you're more likely to be either Madonna or Angelina Jolie.... :P:P

 

Am I an amoeba?

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Well as you squech around doing not much I think so.

 

How many friends can you have in the friendzone?

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Enne Kristin

Depends on your charisma-modifier...

 

Has pansexuality anything to do with satyrs or goats?

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Yes. Pansexuals are goats posing as humans in order to overthrow the lizards currently controlling the royal ruling class.

 

Do I have to be asexual in order to become a part of AVEN?

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Asexual or not, everyone is a part of AVEN from birth. It's sort of like the Matrix.

 

Can I be asexual if I've dated before?

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Absolutely. It doesn't matter what you've done with dates, figs, or any other fruit for that matter.

 

Am I asexual if I'm celibate for religious/cultural reasons?

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Enne Kristin

As long as you dont feel attraction or desire of a sexual kind: yes...

 

I want to become Ace, do I have to become a pilot first?

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You just identify yourself as Ace ( I went outside at 3am and shouted it really loud) and then a few days later, you'll receive your license and the requisite knowledge in a bottle of chewable gummies.

 

If I cover myself in Ace colors, do I get the same powers of invisibility and dismissal that our flag does?

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Yup. I suggest you go round robbing banks and taking people's hats and swapping them over.

 

Can aces live for a longer time like trees?

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Yes, but it won't all be spent on this planet.

 

 

Do asexuals have a natural affinity foe working in quiet places with limited human contact?

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Enne Kristin

Depends on the tree... Beware of being mistaken for a chestnut by town administration and parks and green areas department

 

Where can I find fellow aces

 

 

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Go to a card shop

 

I think my friend is Ace, how can I be sure? 

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Bake them a cake. Document their reaction. If they simply say, "Thank you", probably not. If they say, "They're trying to signal me," then they're most likely ace. 

 

I have a crush on a really cute guy. Does that mean I'm not ace anymore?

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It means you are a magnet and attract people (puns for the win)

 

What does the Ace flag mean? 

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Nothing. Some guy just dropped a bunch of paints on a cloth and gave it to the first ever ace.

 

Are there older aces around here?

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They're a bit frayed around the edges, but I'm sure you can find them under the couches.

 

How old do you have to be, to be an ace?

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Only you can decide how old you are :D

 

Did I just not find the right person yet?

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Yup. They are called friends.

 

 

Do ace people have more time to do stuff?

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scarletlatitude

So much time. In fact some aces can time travel. 

 

Do aces like to watch certain kinds of movies? 

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Yes. Aces usually prefer to stare at DVD's, but occasionally they will also set a VHS or Blue-ray on the table for viewing pleasure. 

 

Is there a way to find and talk with aces irl?

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No. We are abandoned websites that gained consciousness. We do not exist as physical forms...yet.

 

 

Do demisexuals count as asexuals too?

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