Genderfluid Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Hi. I am a 19 year old afab gender fluid person. So here it goes.. I am becoming really bothered by the fact that I am seemingly not sexually attracted to anyone. Everyone I know seemingly finds every one sexually attracted to people and I feel like I am missing out. I have sexual fantasies but in order for me to imagine a person involved it takes a lot of effort.. I am more sexually aroused by the actions taking place in my fantasies and the person has absolutely no use.. Like I don't get aroused by people, I guess.... Idk if I am explaining things correctly.. I am just bothered by the fact that I seem to be missing out on some great thing that most people experience.. As well as confused as to why I have sexual fantasies (sort of) .. Another thing is I don't particularly find myself interested in dating someone romantically I don't necessarily label myself as aromantic.... And just like how I feel I am missing out on something by not having sexual attraction, it's the same with romantic attraction.. Sorry if this is an absolutely confusing/ ridiculous post.. 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The Dryad Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 No I think this is pretty common here, I'm similar for example. Don't worry about it. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Philip027 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Quote I am just bothered by the fact that I seem to be missing out on some great thing that most people experience.. Nothing is everyone's cup of tea. Everyone I've ever seen skydiving is having a blast while doing it (unless it's some kind of drama TV show and the person has a malfunctioning parachute or something), so the argument could be made that I'm "missing out." I'm still quite comfortable with the fact that I never want to go skydiving. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 1 hour ago, Genderfluid said: Everyone I know seemingly finds every one sexually attracted to people and I feel like I am missing out. I have sexual fantasies but in order for me to imagine a person involved it takes a lot of effort.. I am more sexually aroused by the actions taking place in my fantasies and the person has absolutely no use.. Like I don't get aroused by people, I guess.... Idk if I am explaining things correctly.. I am just bothered by the fact that I seem to be missing out on some great thing that most people experience.. As well as confused as to why I have sexual fantasies (sort of) .. Another thing is I don't particularly find myself interested in dating someone romantically I don't necessarily label myself as aromantic.... And just like how I feel I am missing out on something by not having sexual attraction, it's the same with romantic attraction.. Pretty normal, I feel the same I'm Ace and Aro, but have a libido (albeit not particularly strong). I occasionally fantacise or read fiction with erotic scenes, sometimes I'm aroused, sometimes 'meh' and sometimes really put off. I don't worry too much, I know I have no desire to participate in sex with other people so I just enjoy fantasising when I want to and don't when I don't. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzipueo Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Welcome to AVEN Genderfluid. What you describe is something a lot of us share. For myself, however, I never felt I was missing out on anything, mostly because sex and romance were never that high on my list interesting things to do (in fact, they fall below hang gliding, to use Phillip027's example ). 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Talespin Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Yep, I'd say that's pretty normal for most everyone here. I've never felt like I was missing out either, although I did go through some confusing times where other people made me think I was suppose to feel that way. As if life simply could not be fulfilling or worthwhile without romance/sex. Some people say the same thing about their favorite fandom. "You've never ready Harry Potter!? What's wrong with you? You're missing out!" Personally I like Harry Potter but not everyone does and that's cool. The skydiving example is great! It's also fine to have sexual fantasies and enjoy reading fiction. I've been attracted (albeit not sexually in my case) to plenty of fictional characters but never to anyone in "real life". 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Planet Ace Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Eh, try not to worry about it. There's loads of things you don't experience that you've probably never felt the lack of. You also don't hear sounds above a certain pitch, the way a dog can, or see things clearly in near darkness, the way a cat can. Doesn't mean you're "missing out" because you don't experience those things. It just means that the way you experience reality is different than the way a dog or cat experiences it. Not better, not worse, just different. Sexual and/or romantic attraction is the same way. Lots of people do experience it, but there are still plenty who do not, and it's totally fine either way. There is nothing wrong with you if you don't, so don't let anyone tell you otherwise. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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