(TW? and old) Is it weird that I'd be ok with being refered to as a girl in past tense if I ever transitioned?

[Was here]

Like if someone wanted to say," when (name) was a girl..." or that I myself would say something like,"when I was a girl.."???

 

Maybe it's because I'm still questioning and I'm on and off about my gender identity, and I'm okay with staying an asexual girl who hates her genitals. or something. maybe I'm bigender, genderfluid, or gender apathetic or something?? is there a word for that, like if someone identifies as a certain gender, but doesn't care what gender/pronouns someone calls them sometimes, or like, they change their expression and what they call themselves something else if someone wanted them to? or is that just a mean thing on that person's part?

 

example because what I said looks so confusing:

 

I (if I ever transitioned I'd call myself this, but until I'm able to do that in my childishly preferred way, I'm not officially calling myself this) would call myself a transgender demiboy (agender, since using demiboy in words embarrasses me because people don't believe in those, and agender is easier to understand) if I ever transitioned, so like:

 

-I use he/they for pronouns, but sometimes I'm okay with people calling me "she"

 

-someone wants to talk about me from the past, and I'm fine with them calling me she refering to past me.

 

-a close friend still wants to call me a girl because they miss me that way or still want to think of me that way.

 

-someone is talking to me about something relating to girls, and i say,"when I was a girl" refering to who I was before transitioning.

 

I don't know. maybe I think I'd be okay with stuff like that because i'm imagining it, a different version of me in my head is talking to people. maybe i think i'd be fine with it only because I'm not experiencing that in real life, and i'd think differently if I did transition.

[Philip027]

No, it just makes you flexible.  And, to be frank, someone that would be more pleasant to converse with, without having to feel like I'm risking walking on eggshells the entire time.

[God of the Forest]

22 minutes ago, AnonAsker said:

Like if someone wanted to say," when (name) was a girl..." or that I myself would say something like,"when I was a girl.."???

 

Maybe it's because I'm still questioning and I'm on and off about my gender identity, and I'm okay with staying an asexual girl who hates her genitals. or something. maybe I'm bigender, genderfluid, or gender apathetic or something?? is there a word for that, like if someone identifies as a certain gender, but doesn't care what gender/pronouns someone calls them sometimes, or like, they change their expression and what they call themselves something else if someone wanted them to? or is that just a mean thing on that person's part?

 

example because what I said looks so confusing:

 

I (if I ever transitioned I'd call myself this, but until I'm able to do that in my childishly preferred way, I'm not officially calling myself this) would call myself a transgender demiboy (agender, since using demiboy in words embarrasses me because people don't believe in those, and agender is easier to understand) if I ever transitioned, so like:

 

-I use he/they for pronouns, but sometimes I'm okay with people calling me "she"

 

-someone wants to talk about me from the past, and I'm fine with them calling me she refering to past me.

 

-a close friend still wants to call me a girl because they miss me that way or still want to think of me that way.

 

-someone is talking to me about something relating to girls, and i say,"when I was a girl" refering to who I was before transitioning.

 

I don't know. maybe I think I'd be okay with stuff like that because i'm imagining it, a different version of me in my head is talking to people. maybe i think i'd be fine with it only because I'm not experiencing that in real life, and i'd think differently if I did transition.

 I agree with @Philip027, While I totally understand why it can be annoying to some people for others to refer to their past selves, I think the fact that you are understanding and flexible with such a situation is very awesome of you. I like carefree people like that, it makes for a great friend to have. When you have people that mark certain questions as off limits, or certain words as off limits..it gets more and more difficult to want to be around them because you have to watch yourself and no one likes to have to edit themselves just to be in the company of another person, lol So is it weird? Fuck no! and thank you because its honestly such a breath of fresh air that you feel that way  

[LassieBee]

I sort of consider pre-14 year old me to be a girl. She wasn't the most feminine, granted and often wished she could be a boy but she was as happy as she could be being a girl.

Now, there's things about femininity and being afab that I agree with/enjoy/fight for but I'm not a girl anymore. I have a connection to women and would sometimes consider myself part of them but more as a group and not because I am one whereas before I was part of them because I was a girl. 

[ChillaKilla]

I don't think so. I try to refer to myself consistently, but sometimes I dissociate my past self from my current self because it DOES feel like we're different people. I got deadnamed in front of my friends once in passing, and when that person left, I said something like "(Deadname)? Never heard of her. Sounds like a bitch, though" to much laughter from my friends  

[Ashes Floating]

I tend to think of myself as 'Formerly Mya' and 'Dakota', and I've only been Dakota for less than a week. It's fine, whatever you decide to use.

[Janus the Fox]

I suppose how strongly your desire to change is, how strong the dislike or discomfort or how dissociative ones gender is before the transition.

 

I like to be called he or she regardless where the gender is, without regard to actually transitioning of displaying as neither or any gender.  Quite comforting when being called "my girl, sexy lady and others" off hand from the SO though.

[Mezzo Forte]

 

Honestly, my attitude about a lot of stuff changed with transition. I used to be okay with my birthname, used to be okay calling myself female (even if girl/woman never worked), even told my best friend that he could refer to me as his "ex-girlfriend" when talking about our past romantic relationship. (That friend retorted "what? I couldn't have been gay for you?" ) 

 

Can't say I'm okay with any of that stuff now. I don't even think it's that strange to be okay with viewing your past self the way you do. I usually prefer to use neutral terminology to refer to my past self, like I didn't live with any gender at all until I started transition.

[butterflydreams]

Maybe it's weird, but I just prefer the consistency of referring to myself as always having been female. Because the reality is I wasn't forced into a male role until I was at least 10.

 

I understand that many people might not agree with my assessment, but you know what, it's my life. I've always been who I am. And it was realizing who I was when I was a child that made me realize I'd blown away this part of me when I got older. I don't want to hide or dismiss that part of me anymore. I don't care if it sounds weird when I talk about myself with several guy friends in high school. They were hanging out with a girl, and they didn't even know it.

[Guest]

I don't know if i'd like to be referred to as female if i'd ever transition into male, it would be similar to being in denial as in who you truky are in my personal opinion.But each to their own  

[Emery.]

Hm. From personal experience even if you used to tolarate it, you become not fine with being referred to as what you're not. In a specific context "when I was a girl" could work in a way, as "when I used to present this way". I see it like that. But not as a serious thing... Unless you're genderfluid this way and you were cis.

[Ricki]

I don't think it's weird. I can understand why some people would hate it, and as has already been said, you might grow to dislike it. But personally if it's something that doesn't bother you then it's a good thing, as it's one less thing to worry about  

[Zoningout]

I myself identify as a transgender guy and occasionally you'll find me telling my friends that I don't care what pronouns they call me it could be because I have a nonbinary side my brain or something. I think sometimes it's really just a simple as  words are words and as long as people recognize that I'm a guy I'm fine with whatever they call me I don't fuss over simple life things and never really have.

 

I won't lie to you you might get a couple people who ask questions about it or are confused on why you would.  Depending on the people you know they might not take it as serious because people make assumptions and we are human and sadly we sometimes just have to deal with ignorance . but depending on who you allowed to do that I think you should be ok like if you have people do that who you know will respect you, you probably won't have any type of problem. I really do go by saying everything in this world is really just a word and boxes so use what you please. You can still be trans or non binary if you use a certain pronoun it may create certain reactions but in the end 

everyone will always question or ask about something so why the heck not?