screm Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 My girlfriend (asexual) and I (allo but pretty traumatized regarding sex) often feel isolated from our friends/peers because sex is a lot of what people want to talk about. I usually don't think about it too much, but a demi friend recently started being sexually involved with a partner and I feel just really weird about it because she would be the person I talked to about those feelings. Another friend who I'm very close with has started a really sexual relationship with a girl they really like and wants to tell me about it- I want to be supportive and stuff but it makes me feel like I'm further out on an island, and I know that my girlfriend has it way worse than me. Any tips and tricks for dealing with this bullshit? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
kwr Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 It can be frustrating when everyone is talking about sex and you seem to be the only one that doesn't want to discuss it. Maybe tell your friends that it makes you uncomfortable and just be honest. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 Your best bet is just waiting until the 'honeymoon' phase is over, they'll calm down after a while. Until then, try steering the conversation to other things if you can. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Deus Ex Infinity Posted May 23, 2017 Share Posted May 23, 2017 16 hours ago, screm said: My girlfriend (asexual) and I (allo but pretty traumatized regarding sex) often feel isolated from our friends/peers because sex is a lot of what people want to talk about. I usually don't think about it too much, but a demi friend recently started being sexually involved with a partner and I feel just really weird about it because she would be the person I talked to about those feelings. Another friend who I'm very close with has started a really sexual relationship with a girl they really like and wants to tell me about it- I want to be supportive and stuff but it makes me feel like I'm further out on an island, and I know that my girlfriend has it way worse than me. Any tips and tricks for dealing with this bullshit? Unfortunatedly I can't really give you any useful advice since I'm feeling a LOT like you atm. Most of my former "best" friends left after I came out as asexual and even those who stayed with me are getting more and more allof now. Every time, when they would get into a sexual topic, I'm feeling stuck and lost all over. The atmosphere is getting weird between us and I'm afraid that we might loose contact at some point in the very end :/ Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nanogretchen4 Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 It sounds like your friends are probably at an age where a lot of people are having their first few sexual relationships and are not ready to settle down. Most young adults think about sex a lot and talk about sex a lot. It's a life stage. Once your friends start getting married they will talk about sex less, but soon after that they'll start having kids and then they won't think or talk about anything but their kids for years. The best defense is to have a large circle of friends of all ages so that not everyone is going through the same obsessive life stage simultaneously. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Evergreen Faun Posted May 24, 2017 Share Posted May 24, 2017 Unfortunately, I'm feeling much the same way. All of my friends are Allo but they are super understanding. Work is another story. I often feel isolated because I dont engage in sex talk or jokes. I'm afraid that I haven't really found any way around it or a better esy of dealing with it. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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