• Announcements

    • Kelly

      New Team members Needed--Moderator, Project Team, and Declass Team: Voting   12/10/13

      See:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164659-new-declass-team-member-needed-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164657-new-moderator-member-needed-qa-co-mod-and-world-watch-mod-voting/   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/164656-new-project-team-member-needed-resources-and-education-director-voting/  
    • Kelly

      AVENues Holiday Special Edition is now live   08/17/17

      The new edition of AVENues is done!   See:        
    • Lady Girl

      Ace Community Census   11/06/17

      It’s time for the 2017 Ace Community Census!   see:   http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/162675-announcing-the-2017-ace-community-census/  
    • Heart

      Help fund AVEN's servers!   11/06/17

      AVEN is doing its annual fundraiser to raise donations for server costs! See http://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/163251-aven-server-fundraiser/ for more details.  
Snao Cone

When businesses assume you have a spouse

Recommended Posts

oldgeeza

This also happens with employers, I worked for one of the country's largest employers, the application form is completed online, it assumes certain things, when I applied to work for them I was in my forties, it asked if I was married, divorced, separated, widowed, civil partnership etc, but not single, it even asked my sexuality, heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, etc, but no asexual or other sections, it even accounts for transgender people, but single asexual people, no.

 

Believe it or not, I actually took the job, the woman interviewing me was racist, being Welsh, she was rude to me about my being English, she looked me up and down and said, "yes, I can see why you're still single, ugly aren't you?" It's surprising what you do when you need a job though, I've moved on since then, I look back on it and I can see the amusing side to it, but once you reach a certain age, you're expected to be married, or if you have a mortgage, it's assumed that you're married, I guess that's the way of our society 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone
14 hours ago, oldgeeza said:

This also happens with employers, I worked for one of the country's largest employers, the application form is completed online, it assumes certain things, when I applied to work for them I was in my forties, it asked if I was married, divorced, separated, widowed, civil partnership etc, but not single, it even asked my sexuality, heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian, etc, but no asexual or other sections, it even accounts for transgender people, but single asexual people, no.

Wow, it's outright illegal here to ask these questions in the application process. Applicants can voluntarily include information they deem relevant, but employers cannot ask for any of that prior to hire. Beyond the legality, it's completely ridiculous for a company to choose to include it in such a process.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
borkfork

When I was looking at design trends I saw a lot of resumes that had marital status, birth dates, and headshots. It's an odd thing to see when it's illegal to ask for things like marital status, info about family, age, etc. where I live. 

 

Gender and sexuality aren't even part of supposedly private equal opportunity data collected. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Salted Karamel
On 5/22/2017 at 10:17 PM, Allegra said:

I absolutely hate when that happens, and when people assume your assumed spouse is of the opposite gender. The worst for me was in a cab going home after I got the last two wisdom teeth out, and I could barely talk, and the cab driver said, "Your husband will be happy tonight!" Which was also awful because he assumed that this hypothetical husband would be happier with me practically silent. :angry:

I hope you waited until the end of your ride to inform him you only had $3 on your person and don't believe in plastic currency. Asshole.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
chandrakirti

@Snao Cone, I've completed hundreds of applications in the last three weeks, most are asking these personal questions upfront, and few have even an 'other' option for sexuality!:lol:

 

Oddly enough, I keep getting these (scam) callers telling me of my recent car accident and could they speak to my husband about his insurance....I have neither a car nor a husband. It's so much pleasure to inform them of that!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone
4 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

@Snao Cone, I've completed hundreds of applications in the last three weeks, most are asking these personal questions upfront, and few have even an 'other' option for sexuality!:lol:

 

Not gonna lie, I find that disturbing :blink:

 

4 hours ago, chandrakirti said:

Oddly enough, I keep getting these (scam) callers telling me of my recent car accident and could they speak to my husband about his insurance....I have neither a car nor a husband. It's so much pleasure to inform them of that!

It pays to be single and car free. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Telecaster68

The telemarketing thing is probably down to sales needs. Many years ago when I was a student, I did a bit for a double glazing company, and when you made the appointment, you had to ascertain that they owned the house, because tenants can't have new windows put in and they're bigger credit risks, and that both partners would be there, so the salesperson could get both agreeing, and the sale wouldn't fall through later because one of them didn't know about it. Plus, statistically, most people do still live as couples, so it's a fair assumption, and as a sales technique, appealing to the customers plans for their family is one way of persuading them to buy something. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
ohdearIzzy

A few weeks ago i was  arranging some work to be done on the house and had put an add up online to see if anyone contacted me before i had time to look for local builders myself, 4 people called me in response and all of them said some variation of "can I speak to the man of the house" when I answered the phone :mad:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moonchaser

That wasn't veering on the edge of telemarketing. That WAS telemarketing. You can ask your bank to take you off calling lists for anything besides problems with your account - such as overdrawn or a payment not received, real problems.

 

I think that business is so sales oriented that they don't really care about being socially correct, they do what is most likely to make them a buck. They like to assume you're a you guys if you have a mortgage, because two people on a mortgage means the chances are greater there's a backup income to help pay the bills.

 

Banks are also one of the last holdouts of the patriarchy and "old men's club" - back in the 60s women couldn't open accounts on their own, with most banks, especially any kind of credit account. So they've been slow about such things all along.

 

Just call me cynical. ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone

It makes sense that scammers would assume/target hetero married couples. That doesn't make it any less amusing for them to be wrong. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Sleighcaptain

I love telemarketers, they're like stress balls. I think a lot of companies gave flagged my number as "do not call, you'll get abuse" especially if they say "can I speak to the business owner" which instantly demonstrates that they haven't looked at our records. 

I don't have a landline, one of the reasons being cold calls despite being on a cold call barring list 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EarthMama

I dislike telemarketers with a passion.  Most of the time, if I get a call on my cell from a number that isn't on my contacts list, I ignore it.  The few times they've been persistent, I'll answer the phone, but, by that time I'm aggravated enough to give them some pretty targeted abuse.

I had one guy, way back in the day, call the home phone (remember landlines?) trying to sell lawn services or new windows or some blather like that.  He started in on his spiel, and I interrupted him with a 'I'm not interested, thank you, goodbye,' and quickly hung up.

 

The idjit called me back.

 

He chastised my answering machine - saying "Ma'am, I just wanted to say that was extremely rude," before launching into his pitch again - ON the answering machine.

 

I couldn't grab the handset fast enough - spent the next 5 or so minutes tearing him to shreds.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Snao Cone

I used to work in a call centre, so I can sympathize with the pain the employees are in. Mine was a government job conducting interviews for national studies. I got a lot of conspiracy talk hurled back at me, or complaints about government in general, or "you already have all my information in that government database of yours" or whatever. It's different from phone scams or telemarketing, of course, but I still know how much the person on the other end probably hates their job.

 

Since losing the landline about 5 years ago I've hardly gotten any such calls. My top three callers are probably my mom, my brother, and my bank trying to upsell me on financial shit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
EarthMama

The fella could well and truly hated his job...but I didn't waste his time.  My first response gets them the message - I'm not interested.  The hanging up part reinforces the message.  Go to the next number on your list.

 

To call me back and castigate?  Unacceptable, in my book.  It's my number, it's my personal time you're muscling in on, and, if you're going to be a petulant ass, you're going to be called out as such.  And...you are NOT going to get the sale.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Moonchaser

I still have a landline, in fact that's all I have, but it's on permanent screening with an answering machine. Everyone I want calls from knows they have to leave a message, so I know to pick up, and it's not my voice, it's the canned, generic message the machine comes with. I am just not a phone person, so this is the best solution for me. I'm also on the national do not call registry - though it seems you have to renew that now and then and I haven't lately. We get a lot of hangups, and I just think, good. One less sales person I have to talk to. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
knittinghistorian

I was at my cousin’s rehearsal dinner before her wedding. It was a very posh affair, and we all had place cards with full formal names. My brother was also there, and as we were both single then, we had the same last names. So the people making out the place cards all assumed I was his wife, and labeled me as such. We both thought it was hilarious.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Gloomy

There have been times where I've gone to a restaurant with my dad and people thought we were a couple. *Shudders*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now