Galactic Turtle Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Ello! It seems like you guys have a good rhythm going. I know everyone is different but I'll try to add my two cents as someone who is averse to touch. I think the thing that jumped out the most to me is the caution tape I automatically put around fantasy vs. reality. There are things (sexual, intimate, and otherwise) that I personally find fascinating in that there's such power and sometimes perceived closeness behind certain actions/behaviors/dynamics that I can't help but raise my eyebrow. I don't have a libido, unlike your friend. As such I don't masturbate either so anything close to a fantasy I might have has me as an unknown formless observer. So I guess it's just important to watch your pacing. Discussing someone's fantasies in depth can be a relief for the other person, but from discussion to actual implementation is a big step especially when even in sexual relationships people find that what played out well in their heads is really a big no in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Aurora Subira Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Congrats on finding someone you connect with! If you both decide to try physical intimacy, perhaps look up "senate focus" exercises. They are designed for situations where at least one partner has strong boundaries due to fear, anxiety, PTSD, or other barriers. I am demi or gray, not sure yet, possibly aro, not sexually active, and 40... If I did find someone that is the route I would go Link to post Share on other sites
Just Me! Posted May 22, 2017 Share Posted May 22, 2017 Your friend sounds cupiosexual, if they experience the desire for it but never finds themselves attracted/able to do it in reality? Congratulations. Keeping good communication is probably the most important thing to maintain. Link to post Share on other sites
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