Member116379 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I didn't have my first kiss till I was...19 or so. I've never really overly enjoyed proper, long, open-mouthed kisses, but have 'taken part' in them for boyfriends sakes. But now...I'm realising, as intimacy goes, I'm completely happy with just cuddles and short, sweet kisses. I've always needed a lot of personal space, so even the cuddles aren't a constant thing. Is this a 'typical' asexual/grey-ace trait? Or could it just be how I am as a person, regardless of asexuality? Also, I feel like I need to update my boyfriend on this realisation; that that is likely how far our intimacy will go. But wouldn't know how to word it? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I don't think it really is about sexuality, maybe you might just be that kind of person who doesn't need intense levels of intimacy. Other people really like that kind of intimacy, long as the people in the relationship agree and talk about what they are comfortable with. Every relationship is different, because people are different. I would recommend you talking to your boyfriend, letting him know there is still affection but it just isn't going to be make-out sessions for days, or real intense interactions. Good luck! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
nerdperson777 Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 I take it to be more sensual attraction, the touching. Some people really like it, some avoid it like the plague. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Janus the Fox Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 Had my first kiss, and to a guy at age 29, first felt like nothing, but some enjoyment developed slowly over time the more romantic feelings developed. I'd be gladly happy with a lot of sensual romantic contact, with or without sex. I'd say wanting or feeling the need for sensual kissing and cuddles, often goes along the line of romantic orientation rather than a sexual one. Not necessarily romantic attraction until there is the development of romantic desire and feelings. Maybe there's no need to update, feelings could take years to develop and over the course of a relationship, may be more clear if such a mixed relationship could work. My relationship is also the longest I've know a person outside family, and only have been dating and seeing each other into it's third month, I can say that mild romantic feelings is all I'm going to get, but for most people, it takes a minimum of 6 months to a year for attractions to develop, not including the few people I know that do experience rapid relationship feelings. It'll be 6 months in a relationship by my 30th birthday if my relationship still continues, 6 months could be the time that feelings decline or evolve into an attachment so I'll certainty know more by then. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Member116379 Posted May 22, 2017 Author Share Posted May 22, 2017 I have since asked my boyfriend if he's happy with our level of intimacy (cuddles, hand holding and short kisses). He replied saying 'why wouldn't I be? I'd already assumed that anyway'. And then he went on to say that he loves me regardless of anything with may or may not do and that he doesn't want to lose me. I'm thinking I've gotten a one in a million man right here 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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