LGBT and fakers.

[cakeman]

So I have a sister who is very transphobic and against the LGBT community in general :(. She said that every person who was non-binary was faking and it was just an attention thing (She called them "Special Snowflakes.". So my question is, Do you think that there are actually a significant amount of LGBT fakes and any other thoughts on the subject.

[cakeman]

Oh yeah and by the way my sister is also like homo and bi phobic

[PynchMe]

My question to this general scenario is: Aren't there lower risk ways of being seen as a special snowflake? Why pretend to be LGBT when you could pretend to have a nut allergy or sensory processing disorder?

 

Edited to add: Have you ever seen the movie "What About Bob?" I mean, why wouldn't you want to pretend you have Tourette's?

[cakeman]

I completely agree but I guess faking LGBT is bigger than a nut allergy.

[PynchMe]

Which is kind of why I think it's even weirder. I mean, you would be denying a HUGE part of who you are...just for attention. I mean, in order to get ANY attention, you're willing to risk never finding a partner. That's harsh. Like, please seek help immediately levels of intensity. I guess it's also important to remember that you cannot reason with someone who denies reason. L'sigh.

[cakeman]

I agree. It does hurt when people say it's all like fake to me

[KendraPM]

Do I think there are any "fakers?" Sure, I mean there are going to be people, specifically young people, who are going to claim to be things they aren't because they either like the attention, negative and/or positive, for rebellious reasons, etc, and that could include being LGBT+. Do I think that there are significant number people faking being LGBT+? Hell no. That number is going to be so small and they will be the outliers that it really shouldn't change how people treat LGBT+ people.

 

It's not something anyone would keep up for too long, lying about something so integral to who they are - and if they do there are underling issues that should be addressed first - and there is so much hate out there towards LGBT+ people that it's exactly "safe" to pretend to be one. And just because someone suspect someone of faking it, doesn't mean they should dismiss their claims. It may be there way of testing coming out, they may be questioning their orientation and just coming off as fake because they are still unsure themselves, or maybe they're just reading the situation wrong. It causes no harm to take someone at their word about their orientation and have it prove false whereas it can cause massive harm to not believe someone and then have them be telling the truth.

[cakeman]

I would assume people might fake (a very low amount.) This is a very low percentage. I haven't met anybody who fakes but I know people who THINK that some of my LGBT friends are fake.

[AVEN #1 fan]

I don't know why anyone would choose to suffer hatred.

 

 

Lol, I would rather be closeted right now then.

[cakeman]

I know, it's mostly just attention to make people feel pity or for them to stand out.

[AVEN #1 fan]

6 minutes ago, cakeman said:

I know, it's mostly just attention to make people feel pity or for them to stand out.

That's stupid.

 

 

My country is a champion in killing Transgender, I didn't choose to be that way.

 

 

I also hate when gender non-conforming people pretend to be Trans:

"Oh look at me I'm a genderfluid demiboy nanogirl, just bc  I don't wear dresses nor make up, nor am submissive"

 

[God of the Forest]

35 minutes ago, cakeman said:

So I have a sister who is very transphobic and against the LGBT community in general :(. She said that every person who was non-binary was faking and it was just an attention thing (She called them "Special Snowflakes.". So my question is, Do you think that there are actually a significant amount of LGBT fakes and any other thoughts on the subject.

 I think what is likely is she has seen very extreme in-your-face people like Riley Dennis, Milo Stewart, or maybe just people in general who say one thing and do another and its left a bad taste in her mouth. Usually when someone feels negatively towards something or someone its because they have had a negative experience with that thing or person and so they end up applying that one or few experiences to all things that are related to that thing or person, in this case it could be that she has seen someone behave a certain way that does not sit well with her. So what I would do if I were in your shoes, is instead of being turned off by her feelings, try to understand them, talk to her about it, ask her if something happened or if she's seen something that would make her feel that way towards the LGBT community. To be fair, there are certain aspects of the LGBT community that I detest but I don't let those aspects ruin my appreciation for it overall, I simply avoid the aspects I dont like (example: gay pride parades)

[Guest]

4 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

That's stupid.

 

 

My country is a champion in killing Transgender, I didn't choose to be that way.

 

 

I also hate when gender non-conforming people pretend to be Trans:

"Oh look at me I'm a genderfluid demiboy nanogirl, just bc  I don't wear dresses nor make up, nor am submissive"

 

What in heavens name is nanogirl? I don't think throwing in such vague terms contribute to this discussion, it almost looks like you are painting Genderfluid individuals as nanogirls/boys wich is a bit iffy.Same counts for saying "gender nonconforming people pretend to be trans" that actually comes across as painting gender non-conforming  individuals as "trans trenders" FYI: gender - nonconforming individuals are trans  so i'd be careful with using such phrases in a topic where the OP is looking for understanding in regards to what their sister said on  being LGBT+.

 

OP: that's not nice of your sister to say these things, i'm sorry to hear you had to go trough that.

 

[AVEN #1 fan]

Just now, Jayce said:

What in heavens name is nanogirl? I don't think throwing in such vague terms contribute to this discussion, it almost looks like you are painting Genderfluid individuals as nanogirls/boys wich is a bit iffy.Also, we don't actually know if "gender nonconforming people pretend to be trans" that actually comes across as painting gender non-conforming  individuals as "trans trenders" FYI: gender - nonconforming individuals are trans  so i'd be careful with using such phrases in a topic where the OP is looking for understanding in regards to what their sister said on  being LGBT+.

 

OP: that's not nice of your sister to say these things, i'm sorry to hear you had to go trough that.

 

I was putting up an random complicated label there to exemplify my point. Sorry for not making it obvious.

[Guest]

Honestly I could see people wanting to identify as trans or nonbinary simply because LGBT gets all the press and has a high number of supporters, plus these days it's cool to talk down to anyone who opposes it. I keep seeing where a large amount of people want to be in situations where they are seen as the victim in order to grab attention,  some parts of tumblr make a good example. 

 

But, I don't think identifying as nonbinary means someone is faking. I do think that if someone tries to transition without experiencing dysphoria they're most likely  just seeking to be different. 

[chridd]

4 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

I also hate when gender non-conforming people pretend to be Trans:

"Oh look at me I'm a genderfluid demiboy nanogirl, just bc  I don't wear dresses nor make up, nor am submissive"

That could be misunderstanding, though, rather than intentional faking/pretending.  Some definitions I've seen of gender talk about gender roles or masculinity vs. femininity, and phrases like "man in a woman's body" or "male brain" could be interpreted as "person who thinks/acts like a [typical, maybe stereotypical] man", so it's quite possible that some people who say that don't understand what transgender actually is and think it's the same as gender non-conformant.  And also I think there are multiple different definitions of transgender, some of which include gender non-conforming people and some of which don't (well, aside from the fact that someone trans by other definitions can be gender non-conforming as well).  (The definition currently on Wikipedia includes gender non-conformance, but I'm not sure I've actually seen it used that way...?)  (And obviously such people might actually be trans and you just don't know.)

[Guest]

13 minutes ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

I was putting up an random complicated label there to exemplify my point. Sorry for not making it obvious.

That's ok but at least try to define the labels you "throw in", sometimes you don't need labels to make your point across.Also, the point you were making came across as it was like gender non-conforming individuals were "trans-trenders" Again, Saying "Oh look at me I'm a genderfluid demiboy nanogirl, just bc  I don't wear dresses nor make up, nor am submissive" 

Is just vague rather then it actually contributes to the discussion where the OP just wants some understanding, not some labels thrown in at random to exemplify your point.

 

[AVEN #1 fan]

8 minutes ago, Jayce said:

That's ok but at least try to define the labels you "throw in", sometimes you don't need labels to make your point across.Also, the point you were making came across as it was like gender non-conforming individuals were "trans-trenders" Again, Saying "Oh look at me I'm a genderfluid demiboy nanogirl, just bc  I don't wear dresses nor make up, nor am submissive" 

Is just vague rather then it actually contributes to the discussion where the OP just wants some understanding, not some labels thrown in at random to exemplify your point.

 

OK,  my point was "omg I'm a female who is not a girly girl and does not fit 100%  in the standards and stereotypes of what society calls "womanhood" , so I must have an hella complicated non-binary identity, wow, I'm so Trans"

[chridd]

1 hour ago, humantoafault said:

I do think that if someone tries to transition without experiencing dysphoria they're most likely  just seeking to be different.

...or they're not sure if/mistaken about whether what they're experiencing is dysphoria?

 

 

For me at least, my feelings aren't really clear.  I think there's something wrong with my life, but whether gender has anything to do with it I have no idea, and there's something weird with my feelings about gender, but whether this is due to me being trans I don't know (and if so, whether I'm binary or nonbinary I also don't know, again because my feelings aren't really clear).  I already have plenty of fears myself that my motives aren't what I think, that I'm just trying to be different or get attention or make a political point or satisfy some fetish.  I don't need the added worry that others will see me as fake if I'm wrong (or if they don't believe me) or that people will try to attribute incorrect motives to me (already had enough of that in other areas of life) or that people will judge trans people in general (or nonbinary people in general) if they think I'm fake.  I'd be surprised if there weren't others out there in similar situations.  This is a personal issue; I hate how politicized it is.

[Emery.]

My opinion is very short. It's stupid to say that people fake. Maybe some do but you know what? It's hard to maintain a false identity and act like something you're not in the long run. Maybe some teens just don't know themselves yet too. And that's okay. This is what being a teen is for: to test things out. I find it also a very irritating thing that some people say you need to do x y and z in order to prove what you experience. But haters gonna hate *shrug*

[Emery.]

38 minutes ago, chridd said:

I hate how politicized it is.

Yes!

[Scott1989]

I sometimes wonder if a cis person has faked being trans just to get into the other changing room\toilet just to be a perv. I'd imagine if it happens it 's very rare but it must be annoying and makes it challenging for all non cis people (sorry don't know if there is a better term).

[Emery.]

6 minutes ago, Scott1989 said:

I sometimes wonder if a cis person has faked being trans just to get into the other changing room\toilet just to be a perv. I'd imagine if it happens it 's very rare but it must be annoying and makes it challenging for all non cis people (sorry don't know if there is a better term).

And yet they are okay with straight trans people in their assigned at birth gender changing rooms...

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Very few people are going to keep up any fakery for long, and in most parts of the world they'd have to be insane to pretend to be LGBT+. People in western societies forget just how dangerous being not straight is in many places I feel.

[butterflydreams]

I think a lot of people (especially younger people, teens and early 20s) might be doing it to fit in. If they're doing it for that purpose, then they'd probably just drop it any time things got rough, but then resume when they were in an ok place again. Admitting this happens, and at not-insignificant rates isn't a bad thing. And things like this have happened before. When I was in middle school and high school, between 1999 and 2006, it was a thing to call yourself bisexual just to fit in with the GSA-style clubs that were popping up in schools. You might have heard the term, "bistraightual". It meant you were "cool" and part of this "in" group. But if you were primarily dating someone of the opposite sex, you'd be unlikely to run into any issues. So best of both worlds. Most people grew out of it and other than maybe being embarrassed, they weren't any worse off.

 

I don't doubt the same thing happens with transgender stuff. Though in that case, because of medical interventions, real, lasting damage may occur. Being trans is a mainstream topic now, and if you were a teenager, trying to figure out who you are (like all teenagers have to do) it might seem like something that fits you. Because nobody feels like they fit in at that age. So you see some trans friend, or just hear about some trans person and see all the attention they get and maybe you think that's who you are. It happens. I guarantee it happens. There's nothing wrong with it, and there's nothing wrong with admitting it happens.

 

My only caution is that those people have respect for the larger demographic of which they are trying to be a part. Because too often I feel like these kinds of people are the loudest, and presume to speak for me and other trans people who have more time under our belts.

[Toothlesss]

9 hours ago, chridd said:

This is a personal issue; I hate how politicized it is.

Seconded.

[Emery.]

32 minutes ago, Hadley167 said:

Though in that case, because of medical interventions, real, lasting damage may occur.

Yeah this... That is the potnential problem. Not how someone feels or identifies or which pronouns they use. Or what they wear, how they behave or as which gender they function.

 

I'm a firm supporter of what I'm personaly doing, LOL.

[Guest]

9 hours ago, chridd said:

...or they're not sure if/mistaken about whether what they're experiencing is dysphoria?

 

 

For me at least, my feelings aren't really clear.  I think there's something wrong with my life, but whether gender has anything to do with it I have no idea, and there's something weird with my feelings about gender, but whether this is due to me being trans I don't know (and if so, whether I'm binary or nonbinary I also don't know, again because my feelings aren't really clear).  I already have plenty of fears myself that my motives aren't what I think, that I'm just trying to be different or get attention or make a political point or satisfy some fetish.  I don't need the added worry that others will see me as fake if I'm wrong (or if they don't believe me) or that people will try to attribute incorrect motives to me (already had enough of that in other areas of life) or that people will judge trans people in general (or nonbinary people in general) if they think I'm fake.  I'd be surprised if there weren't others out there in similar situations.  This is a personal issue; I hate how politicized it is.

If other people end up faking,  that doesn't delegitimize you in my book.  And trying to figure things out, is understandable,  it's okay to explore possibilities. It's more that I've seen people say, they want to be LGBT, when others I've heard from say they wish they weren't because of the hardships it has caused them. 

I can understated in a way,  because I'm looking into the possibility that I may have ADD, but I don't want to be accused of self diagnosis (which I'm not going to do) or simply wanting to be special. At this point I'm  just considering the possibility. 

 

Anyways,  the only one who gets to decide if you are really trans or not,  is you.  The whole concern about faking,  is just about those who only want to be special and end up making it harder for the rest of the world to take transgender seriously. 

[Just Me!]

I would argue that some people aren't faking their identity, but they're actually trying to make themselves believe they are that identity and forcing themselves to conform to it because of the social pressure/status/and whatnot.

 

If someone's going to 'fake' being LGBT+, wouldn't a sexuality, especially a better-known one, be easier to fake than a gender?

 

Regardless, I believe we're all LGBT+: gender is a spectrum and a social construct after all, is it not?

[JeyAce]

I think that, truly, the only person that can define who you are is you.  I think people are always going to be judged as not "gay" enough, not "trans" enough, not "non-binary" enough to fit someone else's definition of how a person should look/act/express themselves to fit in.  I also think that people who are bigoted or transphobic or homophobic are always going to look for reasons to mock or judge people for not conforming to what they believe is normal.  The only person who can truly know if someone is faking is the person doing it.  As a perpetual misfit, I have always found that there will always be someone out there to tell you that you don't belong, I choose to say, "to heck with you, I'm going to be me!"