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Are there any homo-romantic women?


Honl88

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Hi all, 

 

I live in England, and I'm really struggling to meet people. I'm asexual, but strongly homo-romantic. I'm very physically attracted to feminine women, and form emotional attractions that I don't with males. However after a long time of denial, I've had to just accept that I'm Asexual.

I don't feel the need for sex, nor will I miss sex in any sense. What I'm really struggling with, is the fact that I'm strongly homo-romantic, and I want all the things you get from a relationship apart from the sex. I live in England, and I've never come across a fellow homo-romantic asexual. It seems to me that most asexuals seem to accept their sexuality and aren't really bothered or craving the other aspects of intimate relationships?

I just don't like the idea of being alone in life and I hate the thought that it might happen. If there are any asexual homo romantic women then I'd like to hear from you :-)

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You could try OKCupid (they have asexual as an option), ace-book, or asexualitic. You might find some homoromantic asexual women in your area. (Dating site list)

 

You could also try going to local meetups. England has a lot of them and it's a good place to meet fellow asexuals. 

 

Just remember meetups and AVEN are not dating venues, but meeting people can always develop friendships which may develop into more. 

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Guest Deus Ex Infinity
1 hour ago, Honl88 said:

Hi all, 

 

I live in England, and I'm really struggling to meet people. I'm asexual, but strongly homo-romantic. I'm very physically attracted to feminine women, and form emotional attractions that I don't with males. However after a long time of denial, I've had to just accept that I'm Asexual.

I don't feel the need for sex, nor will I miss sex in any sense. What I'm really struggling with, is the fact that I'm strongly homo-romantic, and I want all the things you get from a relationship apart from the sex. I live in England, and I've never come across a fellow homo-romantic asexual. It seems to me that most asexuals seem to accept their sexuality and aren't really bothered or craving the other aspects of intimate relationships?

I just don't like the idea of being alone in life and I hate the thought that it might happen. If there are any asexual homo romantic women then I'd like to hear from you :-)

*raises her hand*  You're not alone. I'm into masculine / androgynous women but I'm still here if you want to talk or anything  :)

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i'm homo-romantic asexual too, so don't worry your not alone, in fact it's more common then you think ;)

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I can't really differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction, but I know that I want a strong, emotional connection with someone (probably a woman / nb person (what even is gender?)) one day. I totally get wanting that kind of relationship, and being afraid of spending the rest of your life alone. I don't really have any tips or anything, but there are so many people out there who are ace / comfortable dating an ace person; just look at AVEN. 

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I always thought it must suck royally to be an homoromantic asexual because it is already hard enough as it is finding another asexual partner. With that said, there are more asexual women than men(apparently) so it is still pretty bad for us all.

 

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Blaiddmelyn

I live in England, am female, am ace and in a relationship with an ace woman so can confirm that you are not necessarily doomed to never have a relationship :)

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I don't live in England but I am leaning heavily toward homoromanticism... So yeah you're not alone. I get the feeling/being alone thing and it sucks!! There are a few websites out there that you might wanna check out.. acebook, asexualitic, asexualcupid. You might have luck there.

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Right there with you. I'm gray-ace and homoromantic. I love and crave deep, romantic or platonic relationships, but don't crave sexual experiences.

 

I'm so happy that the ace community is gaining more exposure and acceptance; the more asexuality becomes normalized, the easier it will be to find likeminded souls, and hopefully, partners. :)

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Linn Samir

I'm also homoromantic asexual with superstrong gender preference for girls. I also crave lots of emotional and physical intimacy (cuddles, kisses), but nothing sexual at all. I've also been pretty down when thinking about my statistic chances of finding someone, but internet is really the solutions I think. Don't give up! We're here! I'd really love a british girlfriend, if the UK was, like, 50 km away from where I live (Sweden) ;)

I've also come in contact with sexual lesbians who say they have low sex drive and that sex isn't important in a relationship, so maybe you can find someone that's not asexual. Maybe some compromising or it might work without sex at all. Just tell them at an early stage how you feel, so there are no misunderstandings. Good luck and get out in the dating jungle! 

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Liesel Joy

That's how I'd describe myself right now, but like others said, can't quite tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction yet. I'm completely with you on wanting the emotional intimacy and someone to do life with. It's like the threads where people talk about asexual characters in books/movies and they all list forever single individuals. I can't imagine that either. I want someone to do life with. I really really hope I find that. Sooner rather than later haha.

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I'm a girl who lives in the UK, is homoromantic/ace and in a relationship with a bisexual gf...! As it's a mixed relationship it does come with its own struggles, but it's not the end of the world, though! There are plenty of us around I think.

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Carsonspire

Welcome! Glad you found your way here! There are plenty of homoromantic women around AVEN. There actually used to be an entire site for asexual lesbians. There is a 15-page long thread (below) that you might find interesting. You are not alone!

 

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  • 1 month later...
everywhere and nowhere

Les, we are!, as a lesbian slogan says...

I know this feeling of wanting some confirmation of existence because I'm serious about being both, an ace and a lesbian. I've even found a study of "romantic but non-sexual lesbian relationships", but unfortunately, they were all cases of "lesbian bed death" or something close - all were secondarily non-sexual, no relationships in which the partners decided from the beginning that they want to be together but don't desire sex. And I think there is a difference between primary and secondary non-sexual relationship. The latter is recognized, even though people now usually think that if desire starts running out, partners should fight it in any way possible. The former stretches the boundaries of what most people consider a relationship.

 

Still, in this case I definitely don't think we have it worst. Think about asexual gays - first, there are less asexual men than asexual women, second, the cultural image of gays (and so, also, though not as directly as for different-sex relationships, the cultural expectation) is very hypersexual... And yet I've recently read about an asexual gay couple who is getting married, this story was linked on The Asexual Agenda last week.

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  • 10 months later...
slice_of_pie

Bumping this thread. I can relate.

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On 5/28/2017 at 10:49 PM, Liesel Joy said:

That's how I'd describe myself right now, but like others said, can't quite tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction yet. I'm completely with you on wanting the emotional intimacy and someone to do life with... I want someone to do life with. I really really hope I find that. Sooner rather than later 

I feel exactly the same way. I can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attraction yet either, but I find myself admiring the range of people between and including masculine women and effeminate men... However, I definitely find myself more comfortable imagining a relationship with a woman or non-binary individual. :)

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theotherpope

It's reassuring to know I'm not completely alone in this. I've just recently come to accept that I'm asexual and the nagging fear and worry that I'll never meet anyone else who happens to be asexual AND homoromantic has been weighing on me. 

 

I'm from the UK too, so hopefully there'll be a few more of us out there! 😊

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  • 4 months later...
On 5/20/2017 at 2:35 PM, Honl88 said:

Hi all, 

 

I live in England, and I'm really struggling to meet people. I'm asexual, but strongly homo-romantic. I'm very physically attracted to feminine women, and form emotional attractions that I don't with males. However after a long time of denial, I've had to just accept that I'm Asexual.

I don't feel the need for sex, nor will I miss sex in any sense. What I'm really struggling with, is the fact that I'm strongly homo-romantic, and I want all the things you get from a relationship apart from the sex. I live in England, and I've never come across a fellow homo-romantic asexual. It seems to me that most asexuals seem to accept their sexuality and aren't really bothered or craving the other aspects of intimate relationships?

I just don't like the idea of being alone in life and I hate the thought that it might happen. If there are any asexual homo romantic women then I'd like to hear from you 🙂

Well. I don't live in England. .. but. I am mistaken for being feminine alot. I have dominant manners but gentle. I use to be homosexual but because of my spiritual believes I am celibate. I still want a life partner though and I don't need sex. I am also looking for this. It's really really hard to find. 

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