Graceful_Asexual

what does sexual attraction feel like?

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Graceful_Asexual   
Graceful_Asexual

(not trying to be harmful to allosexuals/greysexuals if i am im sorry)

I've always wondered what sexual attraction feels like, a lot more recently since i'm questioning my identity and still wondering if im feeling sexual attraction a lot

so im wondering what happens physically and mentally when you're feeling sexual attraction

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JD_MacGill   
JD_MacGill

Good question, I just can't imagine that people would look at other people and think "dang I want to f**k them!"

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Puck   
Puck

For the record, you aren't being harmful for asking questions in a respectful manner :)

 

I have never experienced sexual attraction nor desire so I fear I can't be as helpful as others, but I'll happily tell a little of what I learned and hopefully others will post soon to fill in the gaps ;)

 

My understanding is that when you feel attraction for someone, you feel an intense desire to be with them in a sexual way. To feel their body, have them feel yours, and be that intimate with them. I know for many it's attached to getting closer with that person on a personal level, not just physically. Also, your private areas might get tingly and aroused, ready for what it hopes will happen next.

 

I believe you would know you felt attracted to someone if you wanted to do sexual acts with them, such as kiss, touch, and take them to the bedroom.

 

Once again, I am not the most knowledgable, but I hope that was a decent introduction and I'm sure more from our wonderful community will respond soon :)

 

Hope you enjoy your time on AVEN!

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Naali   
Naali

The world of Aces may never know...

Ok, well, I've heard it described as a tingly sensation down there and the mentality of just wanting to rip someones clothes off because they are hindrance to touching and more sexual stuff.

 

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Mermaidy   
Mermaidy

tbh just live your life without thinking about it.  being sure of the LACK of something (asexuality) is a lot harder than being sure of the presence of something (other orientations).  if you aren't sure if you have any sexual inclinations towards anyone, you probably don't (assuming I'm understanding your feelings)

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Law of Circles   
Law of Circles

People can vary substantially in their personal interpretations of what "sexual attraction" is. Lisa Diamond, a sexuality researcher, once surveyed women who experienced some degree of same-sex attraction and asked them to describe sexual attraction. She got such a huge diversity of responses that she said they seemed "utterly incomparable." A lot of people on AVEN describe it as "looking at someone and wanting sex with them," but I think that's an overly simple view of a complex, subjective phenomenon.

 

1 hour ago, JD_MacGill said:

Good question, I just can't imagine that people would look at other people and think "dang I want to f**k them!"

There are sexual people who can't imagine that either. For many sexual people, the desire to have sex with a specific person is tied to a deeper emotional connection. Some sexual people rarely or never get the feeling of looking at someone and spontaneously wanting to have sex with them. However, they might still experience an underlying desire for sexual intimacy in general, and then seek a deeper emotional and sexual connection with someone else in order to fulfill that desire.

 

 

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Gnatty   
Gnatty

This whole topic is a major point of contention since the more I read about it the more thoroughly convinced I am that sexual attraction how people on AVEN describe it is pure fantasy and based purely on a major misconception that they have. That sexual attraction is it's own distinct form of attraction.

Hear me out, when people try to figure out just what it is that makes an ace different it's confusing because, just like sexuals, we can still find people aesthetically pleasing, have libidos, all that jazz. The only difference is that all these factors are what lead to people desiring sex, not some mythical attraction that we just can't understand.

Sexual attraction doesn't need to exist because aesthetic, emotional, ect. is more than enough for most people.

 

This can all be especially confusing for men because we can kinda tell when something flusters us, and not being told that asexuality is not desiring sex, but rather not feeling """attraction""", it's all just a big mess.

 

My two cents.

 

1 hour ago, JD_MacGill said:

Good question, I just can't imagine that people would look at other people and think "dang I want to f**k them!"

You say you're a romantic so think of it this way, when you look at someone you like, you want to get to know them better or just be closer, that's not unusual. For sexual people, whether it's ten minutes or ten months, eventually the question of sex arises as well. As opposed to the never that many of us would prefer. 

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RoseGoesToYale   
RoseGoesToYale

The eternal question (for aces, that is)... I've heard some compare it to magnetism. Like when you take two hook-shaped magnets and hold them close that they just naturally pull toward each other, even if you hold them. Perhaps we're just non-ferrous. :P

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Fox6   
Fox6

That's an interesting question, and I believe I can answer it. While I haven't so far experienced romantic or sexual attraction to any real person, I do for certain fictional characters.

 

Describing sexual attraction is the most difficult. It's like trying to describe what hunger is like. I can't think of more than "it feels like the stomach is empty and you want to put food in your mouth". And while this is a sensation anyone can relate to, the description of the sensation is also a description of the physical act itself. Like any other feeling, you have to feel it to know what it feels like, and when you feel it you know you felt it. The sensation of sexual attraction is of a heat coming from your genital area with the urge to do something with your genitals, especially if it involves the object of your desire, and especially with the genitals of the object of your desire.

 

Romantic attraction is more complicated, but it overlaps with sexual attraction. You feel a very positive sensation coming from the object of your interest, as if they are very special. It greatly hinder your judgement of character. It took me a while to identify this feeling as romantic attraction since it encompass several emotions, and I used to mistook it as mere charisma. This also greatly overlaps with sexual attraction in many ways, but I cannot define this part.

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Jade Cross   
Jade Cross

Since even for sexuals, there is always a constant fight over how sex should be, Im just happy knowing I dont need it and leave it at that.

 

 

 

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FictoVore.   
FictoVore.
21 hours ago, Law of Circles said:

People can vary substantially in their personal interpretations of what "sexual attraction" is. Lisa Diamond, a sexuality researcher, once surveyed women who experienced some degree of same-sex attraction and asked them to describe sexual attraction. She got such a huge diversity of responses that she said they seemed "utterly incomparable." A lot of people on AVEN describe it as "looking at someone and wanting sex with them," but I think that's an overly simple view of a complex, subjective phenomenon.

 

21 hours ago, Law of Circles said:

"Good question, I just can't imagine that people would look at other people and think "dang I want to f**k them!""

 

There are sexual people who can't imagine that either. For many sexual people, the desire to have sex with a specific person is tied to a deeper emotional connection. Some sexual people rarely or never get the feeling of looking at someone and spontaneously wanting to have sex with them. However, they might still experience an underlying desire for sexual intimacy in general, and then seek a deeper emotional and sexual connection with someone else in order to fulfill that desire.

 

 

 

20 hours ago, Gnatty said:

This whole topic is a major point of contention since the more I read about it the more thoroughly convinced I am that sexual attraction how people on AVEN describe it is pure fantasy and based purely on a major misconception that they have. That sexual attraction is it's own distinct form of attraction.

Hear me out, when people try to figure out just what it is that makes an ace different it's confusing because, just like sexuals, we can still find people aesthetically pleasing, have libidos, all that jazz. The only difference is that all these factors are what lead to people desiring sex, not some mythical attraction that we just can't understand.

Sexual attraction doesn't need to exist because aesthetic, emotional, ect. is more than enough for most people.

 

This can all be especially confusing for men because we can kinda tell when something flusters us, and not being told that asexuality is not desiring sex, but rather not feeling """attraction""", it's all just a big mess.

 

My two cents.

 

You say you're a romantic so think of it this way, when you look at someone you like, you want to get to know them better or just be closer, that's not unusual. For sexual people, whether it's ten minutes or ten months, eventually the question of sex arises as well. As opposed to the never that many of us would prefer. 

Those are the only answers you really need to this question.

 

It's not about some mystical feeling you may or may not experience, it's about whether or not you desire partnered sexual intimacy for pleasure sometimes under some circumstances with the right person, and even if you havent yet, do you think maybe you could potentially in the future? That experience is easier to comprehend (whether you do experience it or never have) than trying to explain "sexual attraction" which means a thousand different things to a thousand different people.

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