girlfriend asexual, but is somewhat sexually active?

[alexayy]

hi,

my girlfriend right at the start of our relationship told me that she's asexual and doesn't really want to have sex, which i was a bit surprised about because to be truthfully honest i didn't know asexuality was actually a thing(until i did some research afterwards), but the thing that confuses me is the fact that she still masturbates (quite often) and has sex dreams sometimes? is that normal for someone that is asexual?

(we're both 18 and have been in a relationship for approximately 4/5months)

 

oh yeah i should also mention that she's told me that she's had sex with another girl when she was a bit younger (16 i think)

 

thanks

 

-Alex

[that._.irish._.guy]

Hello :)

 

Some aces do masturbate. It really depends on the person. Some do it because it relaxes them, or they do it for other reasons (maybe to keep fit or something, idk). Everyone is different, so there really isn't a set rule for being asexual. It really all depends on the people. She could also be a grey. Here is a little bit about grey-asexuals: http://wiki.asexuality.org/Gray-A_/_Grey-A

 

Hope this helps and clears some confusion. 

[nanogretchen4]

Many asexuals have a libido and masturbate. They just never have the desire to have sex with another person even when they are aroused. Sex dreams are involuntary and often don't align with a person's actual sexual orientation or desires. Many asexuals experiment sexually before they get their sexual orientation figured out, and some asexuals have sex they don't desire for the sake of a relationship. If your girlfriend says she's asexual you have to take her at her word, but you don't have to continue dating her if you realize you have incompatible relationship needs.

[Member4445]

There can be many reasons why Asexual people have sex. Including enjoying the physical feeling. We just don't have the natural desire to seek it out. We also sometimes masturbate and have sex dreams. 

[alexayy]

ah, alright thank you everyone, this has helped me clear somethings up for me and made me understand it better. greatly appreciated.

 

thanks

 

-Alex