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What is the Hardest Part of Your Sexuality to Explain to Other People?


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itsmeelysemarie

That I need an emotional connection to someone first.

 

 

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J. van Deijck

that I like guys, but I'm not interested in having sex with them anyway.

 

5 hours ago, upcummingattractions said:

That I need an emotional connection to someone first.

 

 

also, this.

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Cosette Belles-Lettres

The hardest thing for me is getting people to understand that not all aces/demi's are the same. That each couple has to work it out with each other how prevalent (if present at all) sex is going to be in their relationship. Some aces want all the cuddles and kisses, and some don't want to be touched. Some demisexuals have experienced sexual attraction several times. Some (like me) have only had one person in their whole lives who they've been attracted to. 

 

Another thing that's hard for me is being a Christian demisexual. Now the whole "keeping yourself pure until marriage" thing was always super easy for me, being asexual (formerly). But now that I am with my fiance, and experience sexual attraction to him alone, I am afraid to come out as demi because I am afraid my Christian friends/family will think that I am not a virgin anymore (incorrectly) and think less of me. And don't even get me started on the whole "wifely duties" shtick some of them tried to throw at me...that's gonna need its own rant post.

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Beep.  Our sexuality, personally?  We have sensual intimacy needs, and abundant sexual faculty, but not sexual intimacy needs.  If our partner were asexual, we'd be okay.  If our partner were snuggle-averse, we'd have difficulty.  We guess we could self-report as sex-favourable ace, but our personal semantic preference is to consider ourself sexual since we have what we consider to be abundant sexual faculty.  Boop.

 

Beep.  Post-script:  We get asked about our response to other peops, in terms of sexuality, which we guess is relevant.  "We cannot answer the question because we do not know the person in question.  We feel neither attracted nor repulsed nor otherwise excited sexually, prior experience leads us to expect that if we tried to force ourself to think about them sexually our response would involve discomfort, and we consider it highly unlikely that we would find that person sexually compatible if we got to know them.  That does not mean that we don't think they're cute; we like looking at them, and if we were bored enough to daydream about holding their hand, and you weren't distracting us with silly questions, we prolly could."  Boop.

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For me the hardest part is explaining that no, I am not adverse to touch or kissing or cuddling, I like that, I just don't have any interest in intercourse. I don't want to touch people's bits and I don't want mine touched either. 

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Chaotic_Kitten

The difference between finding people attractive and having attraction. I find women and men aesthetically pleasing.  I find my husband very attractive. But I don't feel an urge for sex. Being married and not "normal"

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Alejandrogynous

That I can be asexual and still have the filthiest mind.

 

Also, that I'm not ignorant about sex. "You're asexual, how do you know that?!" is a reaction I get a lot when making new friends.

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Chaotic_Kitten
1 hour ago, Alejandrogynous said:

That I can be asexual and still have the filthiest mind.

 

So much truth! I am always the first one to hear something dirty when someone says something innocent. 

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I haven't gotten the chance to explain in depth, but whenever I came out to my mom and sister as asexual my mom didn't know what that meant but before I could say anything my sister jumped in and was like "That means you don't like anybody right?" and I was super nervous so I just said yea. I mean my sister wasn't wrong? But she wasn't right either? So that sucks I guess <_<

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