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5 years in.


sex robot

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sex robot

I am a sexual in a primary relationship with a asexual female.   1 month in , I noticed something was off and 2 months in I discovered asexuality. At that time, I gave her the option of a open relationship or I would leave. She accepted the open relationship and we have been together since.  

 

I feel as though I am perpetually dating in order to secure sex/dating partners.  I maintained a long term girlfriend for 4 years and now my primary and I have moved so I am going through the motions to secure another girlfriend/sex partners.   Its more work to maintain these relationships. I grew up with multiple gfs and poly relationships so managing multiple people is something I am used to.  

 

My primary doesn't understand how sex works and thinks its 2 people sweating on top of each other on a tv screen.   She doesn't understand the emotional aspect of it and so I do my best to be subtle about it. I consider myself a relationship athlete...in that I must seek to continually seek and maintain partners. This can be good because long term marriages can become stale after a time whereas the flow of partners can keep me looking forward to new experiences. Its not for everyone as it requires some emotional sophistication.

 

Advice for sexuals in a asexual relationship is to stay active and join with a meetup group or some sort of poly community.  Join a sex positive group where you can meet others and learn from each other.  I would make it an open relationship or break it off. I don't see making it work, making it something that it isn't. My relationship is kinda like room mates...in that we check in with each other and spend time together but we have our separate lives and I leave the house to pursue my interests and side relationships.

 

My primary asexual partner is someone who is set in stone and there is some security with that knowing they aren't going anywhere and later in life I think I will come to value that.

 

 

So this is my take on what you may experience in this lifestyle. Hopefully it is helpful. Best of luck out there.

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I hear you and I respect your choice of lifestyle. Im the sexual, who will never be desired/wanted in a sexual-lovesharing way. Im also monogamous and could not live out my fantasy about sexual relation with other people, since i would fear for my own reaction, when i finally get what i dream about. Suddenly my wife would turn into a room mate?!

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While I respect that this works for you, not everyone is poly by nature. And not every sexual is interested in open or nothing. So, what works will vary by couple and take a lot of long, deep conversations, in a mixed relationship, to figure out what will work for the individuals within it. 

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