Why is that conventionally unattractive = no bodily sovereignty?

[breakdown_mc]

It seems some people are quite ambivalent - they are repulsed by people that are overweight or conventionally unattractive but still touch them inappropriately, almost obsessively. A girl at my school was quite obese and people would reach out to touch her stomach everytime she passed in the hallway. That was confusing because surely you would shy away from something that you find revolting, right? 

 

 

What kind of cognitive dissonance is this?   

[SamwiseLovesLife]

People are strange.

 

I like all bodies. I just don't want to have sex with them..

[Anthracite_Impreza]

Because they aren't seen as equals, even as humans sometimes. It's perfectly acceptable to ignore the bodily autonomy of a non-human.

[chair jockey]

That sounds so strange! I haven't known anybody who kept trying to touch people's abdomen. Most casual touches I've known about have been on the shoulder. But I can understand those being unwelcome too.

[Mafer_Potter]

I've always been overweight. I remember at school a boy kept grabbing my tummy and saying "my pretty fat girl" (there as a soap opera called that way in those days being aired, I guess he was inspired by it). It was awkward and I think I might have punched him or, at least, made an effort to do so.

 

I believe that's a type of abuse, even is a light one, because in those days I was called 'ugly' and he was both making fun of me, calling me his pretty something, and was touching me without my permission.

[Diamond Ace of Hearts]

2 hours ago, LittlePaperCrown said:

I think I might have punched him.

Good for you.

[Laplace]

I haven't had this problem (largely cause I'm a guy 😕) but if anyone tries to get into my personal space inappropriately, they're getting smacked upside the head whether they're a guy or a girl. I try to give everyone a respectful amount of space, and I don't even impulsively hug people cause I know it can be a bit stifling and uncomfortable to some people.

[Guest]

Blech. Those people need help, that's fucking weird.

[Sylvastor]

5 hours ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Because they aren't seen as equals, even as humans sometimes. It's perfectly acceptable to ignore the bodily autonomy of a non-human.

This.

Apart from that the act of touching someone in inappropriate places is a way to convey dominance and supposed to be humiliating/degrading. They can do it, but not you.

Potential TW (bullying-related logic):

Spoiler

To take the overweight person and the abdomen touching, this is pretty much a way to laugh about it for them. They touch it and try to give off the message of "Look and feel how fat this is" and that it is perfectly acceptable because, just like in the quote, they're not really seen as a full-fledged human.

 

That's the lowest kind of behaviour and that's how these people roll. And yes, they do use it to secure their place in the hierarchy or move up by degrading that other person.

[ResistanceFighter]

So, my arms are kinda wobbly and in like 8th grade this one f-ing person who I couldn't stand anyway was sat next to me because I don't know the teacher wanted her away from her friend and she just kept grabbing my arm between her hands just you know wobbling (I don't know how to describe it but it was very unpleasant). And at first I just told her to stop because I didn't want to cause a scene in class but then she told her friend and they came up to me giggling, grabbing my arm. Like what's your problem? Get your f-ing hands off me, I'm not an animal in a petting zoo. Once I almost stabbed her hand with a pen but ended up just slapping her arm away. Man, was I glad when I was allowed to sit elsewhere.

[Fabulous Mermaid]

That's just messed up. I wish people would just stop bullying each other like this. I mean, obesity is a bit of a health concern, so I think it should be dealt with as respectfully as any other, with care. I've never been in a situation like this, so I can't even imagine how obnoxious it must be. Here's to hoping it stops happening: 

[Frac]

WTF, do people just touch strangers without permission because they look different? Unacceptable.