Being unknown in society

[KikiroQ9]

Hi~ I just have so much in my mind recently I really felt the need to let some of them out here. The South Korean presidential election is drawing near and I am watching all these debates the candidates are having, and I am also watching the reactions of people on social media such as Facebook or Twitter. On the last debate there were mentions of sexual minorities and their lack of knowledge came as a huge disappointment to me. The way they talked they were only talking about homosexuals, not sexual minorities. What made me even disappointed was that out of five candidates all except one seemes to accept queers as an identity. Everyone else seemed to think of queers as having a different or wrong 'taste' in choosing sexual partners. When I went on social media, so many people were thinking on the same line. Even some friends at school were talking about how there was nothing wrong about the candidates' statements.

I am not faulting people because of their lack of knowledge. However, to make statements publicly or to criticise something, I think the candidates should have at least tried to understand what sexual minorities are. From what I have heard, I could only assume they are making their statements purely out of prejudice or the view of the public. As an ace I am suddenly more scared to live in this country full of prejudiced and unaccepting people. I just wish that there were more people aware of us and see us as people that are not 'wrong'.

[andreas1033]

I have no idea on what the birth rate is like in south korea, but i would assume, gov people talk like that normally, as they want only one social norm, ie straight hetero for birth rates.

Like i said, i have no idea what the south korean gov see as there birth rate situation, but it normally comes down to this for gov.

In west they are so liberal, as they believe the world is so over populated, and they promote other sexual orientations, to lessen births, that are too much in western countries.

So like i said, i have no idea what south korean birth rates are like, but normally when gov say things like your election candidates say, its normally to protect the birth rate situation in there country.

So, although i agree with you, gov have to see countries, and how they function, what there birth rate will be like in the future. Thats all it probably is with them.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

I am sorry this is happening. I feel like a scary number of countries are moving backwards in their progress towards equality and acceptance of late (My country, the UK included)

 

**hug**

[Woef]

Education is so important. I'm so sad for you and I hope you can educate your the people close to you, so at least they understand. I wish you all the luck and I hope for the one candidate who seemed to at least understand a little! Keep us updates if you want!

Hugs

[Rynn]

39 minutes ago, andreas1033 said:

In west they are so liberal, as they believe the world is so over populated, and they promote other sexual orientations, to lessen births, that are too much in western countries.

This is nonsense. The west isn't promoting being gay. In all of the countries you would call ' the west'  gay people are still marginalized, they're hardly celebrated.

On top of that, in those countries the birth rate is actually very low. Western countries know they have a problem with aging populations. If not enough people are born, then old people (who can't work anymore) will outnumber young people (who have to work to provide for old people). That's a problem governments are trying to solve. Why on earth would they exacerbate it by promoting gayness, assuming that's even possible?

 

And in what way do you think a government would promote being gay? How would you even imagine that happening? Are you imagining "Become gay today!" marketing campaigns? A subsidy for being gay? A penalty for having biological children instead of just adopting them?

 

53 minutes ago, KikiroQ9 said:

Hi~ I just have so much in my mind recently I really felt the need to let some of them out here. The South Korean presidential election is drawing near and I am watching all these debates the candidates are having, and I am also watching the reactions of people on social media such as Facebook or Twitter. On the last debate there were mentions of sexual minorities and their lack of knowledge came as a huge disappointment to me. The way they talked they were only talking about homosexuals, not sexual minorities. What made me even disappointed was that out of five candidates all except one seemes to accept queers as an identity. Everyone else seemed to think of queers as having a different or wrong 'taste' in choosing sexual partners. When I went on social media, so many people were thinking on the same line. Even some friends at school were talking about how there was nothing wrong about the candidates' statements.

I am not faulting people because of their lack of knowledge. However, to make statements publicly or to criticise something, I think the candidates should have at least tried to understand what sexual minorities are. From what I have heard, I could only assume they are making their statements purely out of prejudice or the view of the public. As an ace I am suddenly more scared to live in this country full of prejudiced and unaccepting people. I just wish that there were more people aware of us and see us as people that are not 'wrong'.

I'm sorry this is happening. I think things will get better in the future though. We are making progress, albeit slowly. Young people tend to be more open-minded right? 

People tend to be harsher online than they would ever be in real life. It's anonymity that gives them that courage. I wouldn't base your impression of average public opinion on what you see on the internet. Stay strong. 

 

[gaogao]

I'm Chinese-Singaporean but I lived in Seoul for a couple of years in my childhood and early teens. I don't feel like I know very much about Korea because I was so young back then but on the other hand... I've been thinking a lot about this sort of thing a lot recently as a queer Asian person who has lived internationally (currently I am living in the UK).

 

I do kind of feel like East Asia's brand of homophobia/lack of tolerance is definitely rooted more in ignorance than in morality or hatred. Your description of sexual minorities "being unknown in society" rings very true - especially in opposition to the somewhat more direct prejudice one experiences in the West or in other more religious areas. The West sees same-sex attraction as a moral issue, whereas in East Asia I think the prejudice stems from how our cultures tend to put a lot of emphasis on the importance of family and how society is more important than the individual. Being gay or ace is seen as putting your own individuality above your society - the perception is that by not marrying productively, your obligations (i.e. to be conventionally "successful", to make your family proud, to have a family of your own, etc.) are put aside, so people are more likely to hide their identity out of obligation even among family and friends, while people who do not are frowned upon as rather disruptive. In that sense, politicians see no need to research such identities or appeal to a group that is largely invisible or seen as a disruptive sub-culture. 

 

In that sense, I think also that there is a perception in Asia that the rights of sexual minorities to marry or be out in society are a Western thing. It's a little ironic because especially in places like Korea (and Taiwan, and Singapore, in my experience), the evangelical movement often fuels the suppression of LGBT rights and a lot of the more conservative moral and religious anti-gay hatred is imported from the West, which feeds into the more conformist culture we tend to have. 

 

I have a lot of thoughts about this, but as a kid with Asian parents who grew up in a more Western-influenced international setting I'm kind of aware that it might not be accurate or relevant to people who really live in Asia. I do feel more able to be myself here in the UK, but even so many of my English/European friends didn't understand my reluctance to "come out" to my parents and family back home. It's a complicated issue. 

[Puck]

11 hours ago, KikiroQ9 said:

As an ace I am suddenly more scared to live in this country full of prejudiced and unaccepting people. I just wish that there were more people aware of us and see us as people that are not 'wrong'.

First off, so sorry you feel this way Very happy you feel you can come here for support and a discussion.

 

9 hours ago, gaogao said:

The West sees same-sex attraction as a moral issue, whereas in East Asia I think the prejudice stems from how our cultures tend to put a lot of emphasis on the importance of family and how society is more important than the individual. Being gay or ace is seen as putting your own individuality above your society - the perception is that by not marrying productively, your obligations (i.e. to be conventionally "successful", to make your family proud, to have a family of your own, etc.) are put aside, so people are more likely to hide their identity out of obligation even among family and friends, while people who do not are frowned upon as rather disruptive. In that sense, politicians see no need to research such identities or appeal to a group that is largely invisible or seen as a disruptive sub-culture. 

I think this is so interesting, and I've heard it from other peers I have met that are from Asia. I am located in the west so I can't comment on the culture, but I do find it so interesting that two separate cultures ("West" and "East") would both have the same view point for entirely different reasons.

 

But I do think it's because we are in changing times that we are even having these talks. Reproducing used to be a huge goal and keeping with tradition helped enforce that. And we are more connected than ever, as I am on a website that allows me to speak to people all over the world. This is great because societies might change, but it puts a spot light on the flaws of these societies and makes the leaders feel the need to double down on enforcing the traditions. Which is easy when what they push still works for the majority.

[thylacine]

Kikiro...  well, I guess your politicians are as bad as ours.  Sorry to hear it.