Black_Cat Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Hey So I know I'm ace BUT romantic identity is proving to be a little more complicated! I would love to be in a relationship one day and I can imagine being in one with another girl... but I've never actually felt romantically attracted to any girl in particular, beyond "OMG she's so gorgeous I want to be near her/stare at her forever/hold hands/get to know her" - is that platonic attraction? aesthetic attraction? or romantic? What am I?! Please help I'm confused. PS I do know that I find a lot of "typical" romantic relationships quite off putting - so touchy and kiss-y and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Link to post Share on other sites
SamwiseLovesLife Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 28 minutes ago, Black_Cat said: I know I'm ace BUT romantic identity is proving to be a little more complicated! Totally relate to this. Romantic feelings seem harder to seperate from other feelings so I think it can be confusing unless you have obvious strong feelings. 28 minutes ago, Black_Cat said: "OMG she's so gorgeous I want to be near her/stare at her forever/hold hands/get to know her" - is that platonic attraction? aesthetic attraction? or romantic? Love how you put this, I feel this exactly for anyone whom I have mistaken for having a crush on. Frankly I think the best way to tell is whether these feelings are any differewnt from the way you feel about family/friends/pets/etc. For me, my feelings are the same just stronger with certain people. I call these 'squishes' rather than 'crushes' because if I use this rule then they are platonic. That or I am romantically attracted to my cat too :') 28 minutes ago, Black_Cat said: PS I do know that I find a lot of "typical" romantic relationships quite off putting - so touchy and kiss-y and that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Saaaaaaaaaame. Yeah, If you feel the same way I do then I call myself Grey-Aro. I don't experience romantic attraction but I don't want to rule out the possibility of a romantic relationship in the future as I enjoy the idea of romance sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
9Lives Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 I can relate. When I was learning to drive, my teacher once told me I had a very slow reaction time. When it comes to driving, my reaction time has markedly improved with training and experience, but I think I also have a really slow "romantic reaction time". Like, I won't even notice that I like somebody in a "potentially more than friends way", until I have been friends with them for a while and spent quite a bit of time with them. And even then I'm not always sure if its really a romantic form of attraction, or maybe more of a "you're awesome, let's stay together forever and hang out, and do cool stuff, and talk, and laugh, and maybe cuddle platonically". I would go as far as to say that I need to be friends with somebody before I can develop any sort of romantic attraction at all. Sure, occasionally I meet people who are very interesting in some way, an I'm thinking "OMG, you are so cool" (pretty/fascinating/I love listening to you/insert description of choice here). But those are more in the nature of celebrity crushes, maybe, or even less - I usually don't want to date those people. Link to post Share on other sites
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