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Could I Have some help working out my gender?


Lie-RennyValkyrie_

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Lie-RennyValkyrie_

Okay so this is going to sound very strange but this is how I feel.

 

As I grew up I always identified as female (as this is my birth sex) but often (once every few months if I was bored an in that thinking of the meaning of life state) I felt like I was trans in a way, I felt like I was meant to be born in a male body (Although I believe I feel this way because my mother has high testosterone and low estrogen levels for a female so I never could understand how I had been born female and also my voice, mainly while singing, is deeper than most girls, and some guys, my age) but I still felt female, weird right? But the thing is even when feeling like I should have been born male I didn't want to have a male body or anything like that it was bizarre.

 

about a year ago I found some info on the LGBT+ community and I found out about genderflux and I thought it fit me pretty well because i thought i felt some times fully female and others more demi-girl but never really agender or and form of male. i identified as this for a while and came out to a few of my friends but I decided that I don't think this label fits me so i went back to just being female but don't feel just female fits me either.

 

I often wear gender neutral clothes (jeans and a loose starwars top which is actually a mens top or jeans and a fannel are my most worn outfits that i feel comfortable in) but if I'm going out somewhere nice/fancy I will wear a dress or a skirt and tightish fitting top. To school I wear the female winter outfit which consists of (well what i wear at least) white shirt, jumper, skirt black shoes school tie and normally knee-high sock. I have the choice to wear more gender neutral clothes to school but I don't. I also have long hair which I normally wear in a pony tail unless going out somewhere fancy/wearing a dress (sometimes i have my hair out for school others i have it up). I want to get my hair cut to a more gender neutral length, or at least to my shoulders but i don't think it really suits my face shape so i probably wont.

 

In a way i act feminine but not feel like a cis female but i don't feel male either. I prefer they/them pronouns over gendered ones but i tend to list my pronouns as they/them or she/her as I'm used to female pronouns. I currently have a boyfriend that refers to me as his girlfriend which does not bother and although i know he wouldn't because hes straight but if i he called me his boyfriend it honestly wouldn't bother me just like if someone called me a man/boy it would surprise me but i wouldn't care. My nickname which most of my friends call me is originally from a male anime character but its self can also be a female name ( the character being Lie Ren from RWBY and my nickname being Ren/Renny and Ren is a Japanese girls name) and i like the fact i'm linked to a male characters even though most people find it weird that my nickname comes from a male character and I'm female.

 

At the moment I'm questioning agender but I'm not exactly sure whether this is right for me any thoughts?

 

If you have any questions just ask : )

 

-Renny

 

((sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes I wrote this is a hurry))

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Hah, my friends sometimes nickname me as Yang :)

 

Anyway, from the sounds of it you could be some form of demigender. Or if you keep changing the way you feel, it might be genderfluid as you said that genderflux didn't fit you. Only you can properly decide, though.

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Lie-RennyValkyrie_

One of my friends is nicknamed yang as well (she has two yang and nora shes the one that nickname)! I also have a friend nicknamed Jaune

 

And thanks : )

 

-Renny

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butterflydreams
1 hour ago, Lie-RennyValkyrie_ said:

but I still felt female, weird right?

No, not weird at all. We all have some kind of mix of masculine and feminine or whatever in us. Quite literally every person on earth is like this. But usually there's something deeper at your core that I tend to feel is your actual gender. The expression stuff, that interests stuff, those are all surface things. Hopefully it's obvious that a girl can dress more masculinely and still be a girl, and a boy can dress more femininely and still be a boy.

 

A lot of the time, trans people have dysphoria that does a lot to inform them of how they're supposed to be. This doesn't happen all the time, but you didn't mention it, so I thought I'd bring it up. For example, I know I'm female largely because of the dysphoria and dissociation from physical male traits and sex characteristics I possess.

 

Pronouns, what you prefer to be called, all of this can have some influence on your gender, but I'm female regardless of what you call me.

 

For you, I think the biggest help might be to try out some simple, easily reversible things, like having people call you a different name, or "they/them". Depending on how you feel, you can either go further, or just stop. In my experience, if something is right gender-wise, you'll know it. You'll feel it everywhere. But mostly, don't fret about it too much. These simple things aren't going to hurt anyone and they'll hopefully help build out your path to figuring yourself out.

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Lie-RennyValkyrie_
9 hours ago, Hadley167 said:

For you, I think the biggest help might be to try out some simple, easily reversible things, like having people call you a different name, or "they/them". Depending on how you feel, you can either go further, or just stop. In my experience, if something is right gender-wise, you'll know it. You'll feel it everywhere. But mostly, don't fret about it too much. These simple things aren't going to hurt anyone and they'll hopefully help build out your path to figuring yourself out.

Thank you I'll try this out 

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