Help, please. WTF am I?

[Reece97]

Hey guys, I'm on the ace spectrum but I'm not sure where? 

 

So I've always had crushes on both sexes, but I have never been sexually attracted to females - only interested romantically. Same with guys until I hit puberty and I enjoyed sexual touch, etc. But I've never seen men and thought "yeah, I'd like to have it with them."

 

As time passed, and a few girlfriends and a boyfriend later, I met my first love. The bond we had was indescribable. I was sexually attracted to him, but we never had sex. Long story short, the relationship didn't end and a few years later I've been questioning my sexuality... 

 

So I realised that when I get attracted to someone, it's usually because they're beautiful and there's a spark somewhere. I enjoy flirting sexually and get sensual attraction, but I don't enjoy the act. It just fades. Like, I could get a thrill from flirting sexually with someone and they'd show up to my door and I'd be like "uh... bye." 

 

Usually though, I don't tend to sensually attracted to people from the get-go. 

 

I'm interested in platonic friendships, and maybe a romantic friendship in the future but as far as I'm aware, what I had with my first love was rare for me and it's not something I want again to be honest. 

 

So I'm not sure if it's demisexuality or asexuality with an exception? Labels aren't important but it's just frustrating at the moment figuring out what I am, ya know? There was definitely a lightbulb moment when I came across this spectrum.

[orangecat]

Asexual does not opposite other sexuality. You could be asexual and bisexual at the same time meaning you likes both sexes but do not want sexual contact with them.

You sounds asexual to me but only yourself can tell if you are demisexual of not.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

55 minutes ago, Reece97 said:

So I'm not sure if it's demisexuality or asexuality with an exception? Labels aren't important but it's just frustrating at the moment figuring out what I am, ya know? There was definitely a lightbulb moment when I came across this spectrum.

Could be Grey-Asexuality. So for the most part Asexual with a few sexual attractions across your lifetime (as opposed to the several a month/week/day for sexual people). Could also be Demi if those are only when a strong emotional bond is formed.

 

Also you might be panromantic It's totally normal to have a different romantic identitiy than your sexuality

[Lie-RennyValkyrie_]

One note there are three sexes.

 

But about your sexuality, if you attracted to females romantically and men sexually I would say you aren't asexual (more biromantic hetro/homo/whateversexual i dont know your gender) unless you rarely have a sexual attraction in which case I would say biromantic grey sexual (or whatever its callrd) or grey-hetro/homo/whateversexual if that is a thing.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

5 hours ago, orangecat said:

Asexual does not opposite other sexuality. You could be asexual and bisexual at the same time meaning you likes both sexes but do not want sexual contact with them.

You sounds asexual to me but only yourself can tell if you are demisexual of not.

Actually that's not true. You can be biromantic/bisensual and asexual, but not bisexual and asexual.

 

@OP; You could be lithsexual, which is where you experience some sexual desires but not enough to act on them/they disappear when faced with 'reality'.

[Reece97]

46 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

Actually that's not true. You can be biromantic/bisensual and asexual, but not bisexual and asexual.

 

@OP; You could be lithsexual, which is where you experience some sexual desires but not enough to act on them/they disappear when faced with 'reality'.

Yeah, I do fantasise but wouldn't want it when faced with it in reality. Apparently fantasies, and erotica, etc. don't affect asexuality and it can also be defined as not desiring partnered sex so I guess I'm pretty much asexual now with that exception a few years ago.