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What asexuals in this site seek to get from it?


AW10

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For a while now, I have been wondering what asexuals in this site seek to get from it? Is it a definition of asexuality? I have already provided two stable definitions: "an asexual human is a human who has no innate sexual suggestion/intention for human in general" and "an asexual human is a human who innately prefers to develop personal relation with human in general". Or is it simply a confirmation that it is normal to be asexual? If latter is the case, how asexuals in this site prefer to get that confirmation?

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At first I came on here just to figure myself out and find people to talk to about my asexuality, but now I come on because there are people whose political opinions are wrong.

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People come here to socialise, to learn, to question, to educate... All sorts of reasons. I'm here to educate about what's normal sexually, and to discuss asexuality as well as partake in other discussions that interest me. 

Edit: also I like using chat when I get drunk alone, though that's very rarely nowadays. Chat is like a local bar for me where almost everyone else is sober. I would never go to a real bar :S

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10 minutes ago, yourcaptaiin said:

At first I came on here just to figure myself out and find people to talk to about my asexuality, but now I come on because there are people whose political opinions are wrong.

How can an opinion be wrong? It's just an opinion. Facts can be wrong, but opinions are always right to the person who holds them. Did you mean there are some people whose political opinions you disagree with, so you enjoy debating with them about politics?

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6 minutes ago, Pan. said:

How can an opinion be wrong? It's just an opinion. Facts can be wrong, but opinions are always right to the person who holds them. Did you mean there are some people whose political opinions you disagree with, so you enjoy debating with them about politics?

It was a joke.

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Came because I googled asexuality, stayed because I enjoyed the community, spending too much time joking around in chat, and the forum discussions. Plus I've made some really great friends :)

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The Terrible Travis
42 minutes ago, yourcaptaiin said:

At first I came on here just to figure myself out and find people to talk to about my asexuality, but now I come on because there are people whose political opinions are wrong.

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

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When my relationship ended, I was still living with her. I felt isolated, and incredibly used. Literally a few days after we ended it, she was already going out with somebody else- somebody he had her eye on while we were still together...

 

So I came here to get some perspective and get whatever support I could...

 

Now, I personally want to meet women, and form a long-lasting, mutual relationship where I am not made to feel inadequate for not wanting to engage in sex. I never want to date a sexual person again. I just can't take everything that goes with it.

 

But if it doesn't happen, that's okay too.

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God of the Forest
1 hour ago, AW10 said:

For a while now, I have been wondering what asexuals in this site seek to get from it? Is it a definition of asexuality? I have already provided two stable definitions: "an asexual person is a person who has no innate sexual suggestion/intention for human in general" and "an asexual person is a person who innately prefers to develop personal relation with human in general". Or is it simply a confirmation that it is normal to be asexual? If latter is the case, how asexuals in this site prefer to get that confirmation?

I feel like in general, we just come on here to talk about what interests us with people who are interesting.. ya know its like we all kinda have at least a couple things in common, 1. we be human lol 2. we are either on the ace spectrum or have someone in our life that is (but all people of all sexualities, genders, colors, shapes and sizes are welcome) and 3. to learn more about ourselves and eachother.

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2 hours ago, doggalogga said:

I never want to date a sexual person again. I just can't take everything that goes with it.

Actually, I have recently realized that I am the rare kind of sexual person that actually can date asexual person. It is because I am sexual person with "pan-social" social orientation. It means that I do not care what kind of relation I have with other, personal or sexual, I desire the type of relation with person that the person desires with me. So, if you find some sexual female with "hetero/bi/pan-sexuality" and "pan-social", you can date a sexual person.

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Neither, I come to this site to be around people who get asexuality & don't judge against it.  There are plenty of entertaining folks on here & they keep me coming back so I have people to vent to, people to share with, people to laugh with & people to send eHugs to.  We take care of one another in multiple ways & I'm always wishing everyone well whether I know them or not.

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A shard of glass

All I come here now for is friendship with people I have something in common with. It's pretty natural for any person to behave this way.

 

A sense of belonging should be available to everyone. And I guess that's what I kind of came here for.

 

Originally I don't really know what I came here for, but I found out about aven through Dr Doe from Sexplanations... I think that's where I started to become curious about my own sexuality :P

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Anthracite_Impreza
10 hours ago, AcePsycho86 said:

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.

I snorted :P

 

Cos there are some cool people/robots/owls on here.

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Well, I have just joined fairly recently, and mostly still lurk (sorry guys). I was in the  middle of a mini "identity crisis" when I joined, but now I feel more confident in who I am. I'm going to stay because I like reading the posts.

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I also joined fairly recently (just a few weeks ago). I originally came because I wanted help in figuring out if I was asexual or not, and started going through the forums to hear different perspectives on the topic to see if I fit the new label. I found that I have more in common with asexuals than any other group I've tried to associate with, and so far, I just like the people here. Normally I don't care for forums, but I keep getting drawn to this site.

 

Making posts, answering questions, and interacting with other people with similar perspectives has been nice. I'm going through a break up and used to be very dependent on my partner for emotional support, so partaking in the mix of silly and serious conversations on these forums has been comforting.

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DesiButters519x

Personally, I came here to educate myself more, by that I mean seeing what other asexual's feel, their experiences and in general just to get to know them. I know that just because I am Asexual, I can't assume that all asexual's are just like me. We are all different, but we are still one. I also as I mentioned wanted to get to know other's like me, make new friends, and help out others in need as best I can. So far it's been going pretty well and I am glad to not just be helping out people, but feeling so welcomed and accepted makes me feel so good. I have learned so much already from others since I've joined this site and it's honestly one of the best things I've done this year. I am so thankful for this site because it's nice to not feel so alone like I use to, and the idea of giving back to friends here also gives me huge comfort.

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RoseGoesToYale

Lurked out of curiosity, joined to look for answers about my sexuality (and learning more about sexuality in general), stayed for the awesome people... and a bit of tomfoolery.

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I come here because I live here. This is my home. You are all my roommates.

 

Uh, but in regards to asexuality, I first came here to learn and explore, then quickly established social connections because of the format. Plus, the topic of sexuality and society really interests me. I also feel like I have a lot to contribute given my knowledge and experience.

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5 minutes ago, Snao Çoñé said:

I come here because I live here. This is my home. You are all my roommates.

 

Me too.  But Snao, you've got to stop leaving those unfinished snowcones all over the flat; they're melting into the carpets.  

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On 25/04/2017 at 7:00 PM, AW10 said:

Actually, I have recently realized that I am the rare kind of sexual person that actually can date asexual person. It is because I am sexual person with "pan-social" social orientation. It means that I do not care what kind of relation I have with other, personal or sexual, I desire the type of relation with person that the person desires with me. So, if you find some sexual female with "hetero/bi/pan-sexuality" and "pan-social", you can date a sexual person.

Does that mean you could have an intimate, loving, romantic, long term relationship with an asexual but be absolutely fine if you never have sex with that person (or anyone else if that person desires monogamy)? I ask because I notice sometimes sexual people say they could have a sexless relationship with an asexual, but they usually aren't taking all the implications of that kind of relationship into account. Romantic asexuals often desire everything any sexual person desires from a romantic relationship, minus any desire to connect sexually or have sexual intimacy with their partner.  That's why romantic relationships between sexuals and asexuals often dont work out long term: one partner is happiest without sex being a part of the romantic relationship, the other partner would be happiest if sexual intimacy *was* a part of the relationship, at least sometimes.

 

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2 hours ago, Pan. said:

Does that mean you could have an intimate, loving, romantic, long term relationship with an asexual but be absolutely fine if you never have sex with that person (or anyone else if that person desires monogamy)? I ask because I notice sometimes sexual people say they could have a sexless relationship with an asexual, but they usually aren't taking all the implications of that kind of relationship into account. Romantic asexuals often desire everything any sexual person desires from a romantic relationship, minus any desire to connect sexually or have sexual intimacy with their partner.  That's why romantic relationships between sexuals and asexuals often dont work out long term: one partner is happiest without sex being a part of the romantic relationship, the other partner would be happiest if sexual intimacy *was* a part of the relationship, at least sometimes.

 

It means that I am fully capable of having sexless relation with or without commitment, but there are two things that should be noted regarding it: "in a present segment of my life, I do not want a relation with commitment", "in a future segment of my life, I will want to have a family meaning a wife and at least two kids". So, theoretically speaking, latter means that I would be able to have an asexual wife, but given that I have kids with her by means of either sexual intercourse or artificial insemination.

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I found aven on the external links segment of the Wikipedia page for asexuality. I joined because I was not sure if I should consider myself asexual, a year and a half later I have not gotten any evidence to the contrary. Now I am mostly on to read about what people are up to, and to get away from people I have trouble relating to. Some days, after a particularly harrowing conversation, I feel like I have to go and "ace", so I sit down with some cake amd browse aven.

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Well I had a lot of questions about asexuality and i stumbled upon AVEN. I think that reading other people experiences helps me to better understand myself and answers a lot of my questions. Also since I don't really have anyone to talk to about these things in real life so this is where I feel a bit more free. 

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I joined in 2014, but only recently became an active participant. Though I have no problems living in, and interacting with, society at large, for me it really boils down to this: here, I feel completely at ease, because I am with others like myself. In an often hyper-sexual world, this is a priceless respite. Plus, fun! :) 

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