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Help me to find my sexuality


BeyondTheHorizonn

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BeyondTheHorizonn

Hello all,

I will try to be as shortest as i can. Im foreigner so my english is..death xd

- I'm female, 20 years

- I masturbate liitle, and always jusact ross underpants, i dont stimulate my clitoris

- When I was child i get crushes just on boys

- In third year of highschool i get first boyfriend and he was physically unttracked to him, i hated kissing and broke up after one mouth. We don't try sex

- After that all boys sicken for me and i started to daydreaming about having hug, kisses and sex with girls, i started watcing lesbian movies and porn. I started to looking girls etc

-I find one girl after, i get in love with her , that was the first time i really love someone. I enjoy kissing with her, huging, playing with boobs but - I can't licking her...i just can't that smell...and i can't get wet. I was like desert. Our attempts for sex was just..terrible... She become angry on me because of that. But, hopefully, she don't have big needs for sex. Before me she had great sex with one butch girl.

-We broke up after 10 mouths because she move to another town.

-Because i cant find  a new girl i go in relatinship with one boy. But i don't get in love i have feeling like ''i do this because...that's how it should be''. Kissing with him was...meh, nothing speciall...and we try penetration but i was again dry and it was very hurt so i give up. But i can get him blow job. While all that prelude i feeling like i wasnt in my body, its vas stupid, shit and boring...

Some people say me that i wasnt with right person...or them was Clumsy, incompetent to make me enjoy..but i supose that reall problem is in me

After all of this, i realize my biggest problem is that i cant get wet, and can't be present in  moment. I want a girl again. Maybe Im just bi - asexual

 

 

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You might be bisexual, with preference for girls? Or lesbian. And you could be gray ace, demisexual or asexual.

 

Bi means two genders, in this case boy and girl. gray ace is rare rare occasions of sexual attraction, demi is after emotional bond and only after forming that do you feel attracted sexually. Asexual is where you don't feel sexual attraction, but can enjoy kiss, hug, touching etc. Just nothing sex related.

 

Hope this helps!!

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Honestly, it sounds like you're asthetically attracted to women and asexual. (You didn't mention any arousal with the girl you were with) there are asexuals who love to hug and kiss their partners (sensual attraction), but lack interest in going beyond that. That's how I am, personally. I want to be around my partner, hug and kiss them, but once that crosses into sex I get bored. Sex is entertaining or interesting for like, maybe 2 minutes, but then I get bored and would rather play video games.

 

If you're certain that you're experiencing sexual arousal, but your body just isn't responding appropriately (getting "wet") then it's possible that you're just dehydrated and not drinking enough water. It's also possible that you're just nervous with your partners and stressed from your body not responding how you want it to. No matter what, what you're experiencing is completely okay, and I suggest not stressing about it too much. Everyone is hardwired differently.

 

Only you can choose a label for yourself. I hope that helped, and we're here if you have any other questions. :)

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