Revenwyn Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 So bear with this, it could be long. I've been in love. I've been married, I've even enjoyed sex. Sex acts turn me on. But I've never been sexually attracted to anyone of any gender. I experience sexual desire but not really based on looks, and I don't become more physically attracted to them as the relationship goes on. It's like I'm totally blind to attraction, even aesthetically. And I don't understand why. Now I will say that I was raised very conservatively; I was told physical attraction fades so not to pick someone based on that. I was also told that it was sin for someone to experience physical attraction to someone that they're not married to. But most people for some reason do anyway even if they're taught that. I never did. And I was waiting for attraction to form after I got married. It never did (that husband passed away last year.) So I'm with someone else now, who has been my best friend forever, who I have always loved and wanted to marry. But I have never experienced physical attraction towards him. He does to me, that is evident, and we're very physically affectionate (we have not had sex yet.) I love him for his soul, his intellect, our history together, how we just completely connect. And I'm not even saying that he's unattractive. He's not unattractive to me in the least. But then again I am unable to determine what IS attractive to me because nobody I've ever seen has been. And I know that our sex life won't be hampered because I like sex and lots of it, as long as it's with someone I love, but the physical attraction has nothing to do with it. So anyway, I dunno if this is just how I am naturally or if my upbringing had anything to do with it (even though others I know raised this same way have NO problems having sexual attraction) or a combination of factors, and I don't even know what to call myself. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 It honestly just sounds like youre a decent human being to be honest. lol 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mermaidy Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 not all sexual people have sexual desire based on looks. you sound pretty normal based on what you've written in terms of being a sexual person 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Revenwyn Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 Yeah well I also don't experience any sexual desire for anyone else. Even if I find them emotionally or mentally stimulating. And even when I am with someone sex is something that is based on the connection of the moment our minds and souls meet. I have no drive to make it happen; I can take it or leave it but I do enjoy it when it happens. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DesiButters519x Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I have to agree with the other members, you sound pretty normal, and very beautiful at that. Most people, at least the ones that I have known, tend to VERY much go for the looks, and ignore the inner beauty of a human being, which is sad because outer beauty is only a mirage, least to me. But hey, whatever floats your boat right? I think everyone just has their own ticks, their own turn on's... etc. There is no right or wrong. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Xenobot Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Sexual attraction doesn't have to be based on physical appearance. You can be turned on by someone's personality, their intellect, how they interact with you, or any number of things. Seeing sexal attraction only in terms of aesthetics is a very narrow interpretation of all the ways sexual attraction actually manifests. If you're experiencing the desire for partnered sex for its own sake, then there may be some kind of attraction facilitating that, just not the physical kind. Having no drive to initiate sex with someone else, but enjoying it when the right person initiates it is known as "responsive desire" which is very common among women, and less common, but still present in men. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
cakeman Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 45 minutes ago, RipleyJ said: It honestly just sounds like youre a decent human being to be honest. lol yeah you are just a better person than me Quote Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 9 minutes ago, cakeman said: yeah you are just a better person than me aww! lets be friends! hehe 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
AVEN #1 fan Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Cupiosexual maybe? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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