I wanna discuss sexual attraction again :P

[Dudette]

I have been reading threads of gays trying to be straight, and it was very interesting to read that some of them physically enjoy having sex with women, but not really enjoying it mentally.

This also got me thinking whether sexual attraction is limitation of your body or mental enjoyment like (I am aroused by the person or I desire to have sex with the person).

I read some threads about "aces are able to get aroused by a person", and also "gays able to get aroused by girls", but there is one issue, how come it is not possible for people to get aroused by everything and everyone, but only by a specific person?

What do you think?

[AVEN #1 fan]

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like... even if it's psychologically painful.

Your body doesn't need your brain to enjoy or consent to function sexually.

[Snao Cone]

2 hours ago, m_p_w said:

how come it is not possible for people to get aroused by everything and everyone, but only by a specific person?

I'm not quite following this. Do you mean someone only getting aroused by one person, and it has nothing to do with their gender? That sounds demi and pan, which does exist.

[Homer]

15 minutes ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like.

That's an inappropriate generalization. Victims of sexual assault or r might disagree...

 

Being aroused by everything and everyone would make being aroused the default. I don't know about vulva bearers, but it would be fekkin painful for those who have a penis. That shit would hurt a lot. Everyone would be pan and there wouldn't be any restrictions (family etc).

 

Nature might have had a plan by designing things just the way they are.

[Dudette]

16 minutes ago, Snao Çoñé said:

I'm not quite following this. Do you mean someone only getting aroused by one person, and it has nothing to do with their gender? That sounds demi and pan, which does exist.

I mean this "For asexuals, arousal is possible. For me, if I'm in the right situation like making out with my bf it's possible for me to notice physical arousal, ie. my genitals "waking up" I guess. But it's not connected to any burning desire at all." :-Cetasoul

 

I tried doing this with a newspaper, and my genitals didn't "wake up".

How come it is only possible to "wake up" your genitals with another person?

By my understanding there has to be some kind of attraction even very weak one, am I correct?

 

[Homer]

8 minutes ago, m_p_w said:

How come it is only possible to "wake up" your genitals with another person?

Because anything else wouldn't make any sense in the slightest. It's work. It's part of procreating. Members of any species are usually programmed to procreate with other members of the same species. You're just not supposed to get off to everything.

[AVEN #1 fan]

On 4/23/2017 at 1:42 PM, Homer said:

That's an inappropriate generalization. Victims of sexual assault or r might disagree...

 

Being aroused by everything and everyone would make being aroused the default. I don't know about vulva bearers, but it would be fekkin painful for those who have a penis. That shit would hurt a lot. Everyone would be pan and there wouldn't be any restrictions (family etc).

 

Nature might have had a plan by designing things just the way they are.

******* TRIGGER WARNING, SENSITIVE TOPIC********

 

 

Well if  a male get raped without their consent, off course their penis will get erect and ejaculate

 

[Homer]

On 4/23/2017 at 2:06 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

 

Well if  a male get raped without their consent, off course their penis will get erect and ejaculate

 

 

[AVEN #1 fan]

Just now, Homer said:

Even if people don't want, their bodies still work, like seriously, it's common for AMABs to get erect without having sexual thoughts.

[Dudette]

On 4/23/2017 at 2:20 PM, Homer said:

 

On 4/23/2017 at 2:06 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Well if  a male get raped without their consent, off course their penis will get erect and ejaculate

In some cases it is true (some because it is rare for female rape male), for example there is this Canadian who was sexually molested and raped by a female pedophile (he was 13/14 not sure).

Also, if the rape is anal then in most cases penis will not get erected by it will ejaculate

[andreas1033]

Its because at the lowest level, attraction is based on energies.

People, both draw in and repel peoples.

People in hollywood, especially females, need an aura that draws people in, otherwise they get nowhere on screen in hollywood. Thats the most extreme.

All the people you meet in life, you either draw in, or repel them. But for all sorts of reasons, people rationalise it differently, as they mostly do not understand that they are stimulated by energies.

[AVEN #1 fan]

On 4/23/2017 at 2:26 PM, m_p_w said:

 

In some cases it is true (some because it is rare for female rape male), for example there is this Canadian who was sexually molested and raped by a female pedophile (he was 13/14 not sure).

Also, if the rape is anal then in most cases penis will not get erected by it will ejaculate

Gross content:

 

 

Spoiler

Well, if the person is male they will, the P-spot aka the prostate can be touched throughout the anus,  the stimulation causes easy ejaculating.

 

[Dudette]

42 minutes ago, Homer said:

Because anything else wouldn't make any sense in the slightest. It's work. It's part of procreating. Members of any species are usually programmed to procreate with other members of the same species. You're just not supposed to get off to everything.

How about this, how come I am not able to get aroused by cuddling with any person?

Only the person who I feel romantic attraction towards?

Many gays, straights and aces also experience this, how come?

[Peachyy]

I think it really comes down to your fluidity. You could decided that you're heterosexual, but your _small   subconscious attraction to the same sex/gender will make you available to enjoy sex with someone you aren't "attracted" to if you consent to that situation. For a person who has little to no underlying attraction to all genders, your body is definitely not going to accept the situation in the same way. I say "underlying" because I think most everyone has a dominant attraction, but their subconscious is sprinkled with all sorts of other attractions to things or people they don't readily think about. People (including men) who don't want to be in a sexual situation will not have the same bodily response because your mental involvement in something has a huge impact on whether or not your body can perform.

 

 I know someone who has an anal fetish and he's told me that he's had sex with a man before and was able to finish/enjoyed the situation well enough, but he considers himself straight because he's attracted only to women and desires anal sex with them, not guys. Again, you know, it comes down to a few factors---everyone's got an asshole so it's not like that aspect of it is any different. But he's aroused by more than just the person's ass. This guy in particular also doesn't have any barriers against the idea of non-straight sexuality, nor is he disgusted by two men having sex as other people sometimes are. That probably played in as to how he was able to be present for that situation. Likewise, I'm not attracted to women but I know that if I were being eaten out by someone who knew what they were doing, nothing in my mentality would say "a woman's tongue is different than a man's", or, "ew, it's a lady". But someone else would feel differently and they wouldn't be able to stay there because their mind would tip the scale.

 

imo.

 

 

 

[sarahb]

16 hours ago, m_p_w said:

I have been reading threads of gays trying to be straight, and it was very interesting to read that some of them physically enjoy having sex with women, but not really enjoying it mentally.

This also got me thinking whether sexual attraction is limitation of your body or mental enjoyment like (I am aroused by the person or I desire to have sex with the person).

I read some threads about "aces are able to get aroused by a person", and also "gays able to get aroused by girls", but there is one issue, how come it is not possible for people to get aroused by everything and everyone, but only by a specific person?

What do you think?

Another poster mentioned "fluidity" ... and that is a good word; but so is "scale".  

 

For example, there is so much more than straight, bisexual, or gay.  I have friends who say they are "emotionally straight, but sexually bisexual".  They won't date someone of the same sex, but they enjoy sexual relations with them.  And that is just a simple answer.  The sexuality scale is ... well, FLUID.

 

I have also noticed on FB lately, that today's kids are often listing their bisexuality on their profile; but are "qualifying it".  For example:

Quote

Bisexual.  60% male

or

Bisexual 60-40 male

In other words, they are saying that they are bisexual, but prefer (60%) to date a male.  I was shocked to see kids coming out on facebook as bisexual and listing the percentage.

 

But it isn't "clear cut" anymore, and who better than our younger generation to make it more acceptable.

[Guest]

14 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like.

Your body doesn't need your brain to enjoy or consent to function sexually.

If your mind isn't on it your body will not like it. It will feel like a violation :-/

[AVEN #1 fan]

5 hours ago, Teee said:

If your mind isn't on it your body will not like it. It will feel like a violation :-/

Pregnancy, erections, periods, etc don't happen bc your brain wants it.

[Guest]

On 24/04/2017 at 8:20 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like.

Your body doesn't need your brain to enjoy or consent to function sexually.

 

On 24/04/2017 at 9:06 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

****** TRIGGER WARNING, SENSITIVE TOPIC********

 

Well if  a male get raped without their consent, off course their penis will get erect and ejaculate 

 

On 24/04/2017 at 9:22 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Even if people don't want, their bodies still work, like seriously, it's common for AMABs to get erect without having sexual thoughts.

 

On 25/04/2017 at 5:00 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Pregnancy, erections, periods, etc don't happen bc your brain wants it.

Where did you get your sexual education?  what you have been saying here is ill-informed and extremely destructive.

 

Do you know some people CAN'T get aroused just from having their genitals touched?? Many women require a LOT of non-genital foreplay to be able  to get aroused enough to have pleasurable pain-free sex, you can't just shove your hands down their underwear expect them to get instantly horny straight away... How did you even think that was possible in this day and age with the amount of info about female arousal on the internet ??????

 

i was asked to spoiler the rest and post a trigger warning. It's discussing the physical trauma and pain that is commonly sustained during rape, making it impossible for many people to experience physical pleasure and arousal from the act.  None of that should have to be explained but apparently some people think it's very common to get aroused during rape. It's not T_T but anyway yeah, trigger warning for the next part: contains graphic content. 

 

Spoiler

And you're suggesting that almost every rape victim gets aroused during sexual assault, what the fuck? Do you realise many women end up with their vaginas torn open after rape because they are so dry (ie they're NOT AROUSED) that the skin inside the vagina literally rips open as the penis thrusts in and out. And victims of anal rape (both male and female) often end up with perforated anal walls, with blood and pus dribbling out for days after the attack from the amount of damage that was done from that kind of penetration without adequate preparation and lube. Anal sex is extremely, agonisingly painful for most people if you're not properly prepared for it, so anal rape is particularly brutal. Many men, no matter how aroused they are, can't experience "P spot" orgasms even with a lover they are deeply turned on by, because it just hurts too much having any attempted penetration up there. And many women can't experience vaginal orgasms no matter how aroused they are and how much they love and trust their partner, so they're obviously not going to be orgasming from rape just because someone is shoving something inside them . Arousal and sexual pleasure are a LOT more complicated than you seem to think they are... Especially for rape victims. Yes SOME female rape victims experience arousal from the stimulation alone, but they're a minority. And there are all sorts of ways to rape a male regardless of whether or not his penis reacts to stimulation (which is a lot more common than female genitals reacting to stimulation). Please stop spreading that deeply offensive nonsense about people getting aroused just from having their genitals touched, and "liking it" just because someone is fondling them down there T_T ..It doesn't work like that for many women or for the vast majority of female rape victims and anal rape victims of both sexes. 

 

Edit: also even if someone (man or woman) DOES get genitally aroused just from being fondled down there, that doesn't mean they're "liking it" if the contact is non-consensual. Obviously.

 

On 24/04/2017 at 5:45 AM, m_p_w said:

I have been reading threads of gays trying to be straight, and it was very interesting to read that some of them physically enjoy having sex with women, but not really enjoying it mentally.

This also got me thinking whether sexual attraction is limitation of your body or mental enjoyment like (I am aroused by the person or I desire to have sex with the person).

I read some threads about "aces are able to get aroused by a person", and also "gays able to get aroused by girls", but there is one issue, how come it is not possible for people to get aroused by everything and everyone, but only by a specific person?

What do you think?

 

It generally has nothing to do with what makes you aroused. some people get horny just from the vibration of driving in a car for example. Some people can get aroused from intimacy with their romantic partner, some people can get aroused from looking at big-breasted women, some people can only get aroused from extended non-genital foreplay.. but this is all extremely varied from person to person and whether or not you get aroused isn't "sexual attraction". The difference between a sexual person and an asexual person is that sexual people desire partnered sex with certain other people for pleasure, asexuals don't (regardless of whether or not they experience arousal). "Sexual attraction" (which no one can agree on the definition of) helps some sexual people identify their sexual orientation (whether they desire sex with men/women/both/whatever) but it's a meaningless concept when it comes to asexuality because asexuals have no desire to connect sexually with others for pleasure in the first place, so whether or not they experience sexual attraction is irrelevant.

 

Some people DO get "aroused" by a lot of people, and get aroused many times during the day etc, but that doesn't mean they desire to actually *have* sex with a lot of people. Desiring to actually connect sexually with someone and merely having aroused genitals are two different things, that obviously coincide a lot of the time. But yeah, you can still for example be a lesbian if you get aroused watching men having sex with each other. If you are a woman and your innate sexual preference is to have sexual intimacy with other women then you're still a lesbian even if you get aroused by porn with a man getting his anus penetrated by another mans penis or whatever. Arousal itself isn't necessarily an indicator of sexual orientation (and there are heaps of aces who get aroused but still have no interest in having sex with anyone). 

 

On 24/04/2017 at 8:48 AM, m_p_w said:

I mean this "For asexuals, arousal is possible. For me, if I'm in the right situation like making out with my bf it's possible for me to notice physical arousal, ie. my genitals "waking up" I guess. But it's not connected to any burning desire at all." :-Cetasoul

 

I tried doing this with a newspaper, and my genitals didn't "wake up".

How come it is only possible to "wake up" your genitals with another person?

By my understanding there has to be some kind of attraction even very weak one, am I correct?

 

Some people can "wake up" their genitals from stimulation of errogenous zones during kissing as one example, especially if they're in love with the person they're kissing as romantic love can create intense hormones. Some people can "wake up" their genitals just from playing with themselves (ie fondling their penis or clitoris) and some people just get aroused randomly for no reason but CAN'T get aroused intentionally from any kind of stimulation or intimate interaction (I'm one of those people. Only my internal hormones can wake my genitals up, nothing else can get me aroused.) 

 

Hope that helps?

[binary suns]

On 4/23/2017 at 5:06 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

******* TRIGGER WARNING, SENSITIVE TOPIC********

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Well if  a male get raped without their consent, off course their penis will get erect and ejaculate

 

 

On 4/23/2017 at 5:22 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Even if people don't want, their bodies still work, like seriously, it's common for AMABs to get erect without having sexual thoughts.

 

On 4/23/2017 at 5:33 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Gross content:

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

Well, if the person is male they will, the P-spot aka the prostate can be touched throughout the anus,  the stimulation causes easy ejaculating.

 

 

17 hours ago, AVEN #1 fan said:

Pregnancy, erections, periods, etc don't happen bc your brain wants it.

None of these statements are universal, many of them aren't even general. 

certainly some men don't get aroused by touch alone. the arousal that occurs without sexual thought or tactile/visual/olfactory/proximity stimulation is usually due to a separate function of the brain than sexual arousal, the same function that gives both men and women physical arousal during sleep. 

 

most men in fact have certain conditions of touch that don't arouse them, whether that's as dumb of an example as clothes or certain self touch for cleaning and peeing, to as surprising an example as times they go to have sex and just can't maintain or maybe even get an erecting. I've even known someone confused because they'd lose their erections and arousal as stimulation started, but could get normally erect and aroused from other activity/circumstance

 

 

 

 

and it's certainly possible to get pregnant or have physical arousal just because someone mentally wants it. some people can get aroused just because they want it. and certainly some women have some kind of anxiety or desire that affects their periods, and some women actually generally want periods. 

 

 

I'm not even going to comment on rape but you're claims thereof definitely aren't universal, even in men.

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 23/04/2017 at 9:20 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like.

I see what you're saying but i beg to differ. My body hates. I threw up the last time I tried that, also no positive sensation whatsoever (despite feeling good when masterbating)

[Guest]

On 24/04/2017 at 8:20 AM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Yeah, if you let anyone touch you down there off course your body will like.

So mods jumped on this thread and demanded multiple spoilers etc, yet I notice this post is still up and this was actually the original one that upset me, I just got more upset the more comments I read from this user in this thread. Anyway.. 

 

@AVEN #1 fan you really need to do some reading before making claims like this (unless you were intentionally trying to get a rise?) because no, not everyone gets turned on just from being fondled. Bodies (especially quite commonly among many females) don't just "like it and react accordingly" because someone touched their genitals. It just doesn't work like that for many people.

[Fox6]

On 23/04/2017 at 6:26 PM, Dudette said:

In some cases it is true (some because it is rare for female rape male)

It's rare for a woman to be convicted. However I am not sure if that reflects actual crime rates. Not long ago the law wouldn't even recognize cases of females abusing males, and today there are men who have to pay child support despite the fact that the children were born when they were underage but the female an adult.

[Guest]

On 24/04/2017 at 6:00 PM, AVEN #1 fan said:

Pregnancy, erections, periods, etc don't happen bc your brain wants it.

Pregnancy and periods are related to attraction? Do you have an erection just by looking at a lamp post? You need a trigger even if it's involuntary. You Brain processed something that pleased you 

[Homer]

@AVEN #1 fan

I kindly ask you to please stop making claims like that. What you're saying is misleading and confusing and pretty much precisely the opposite of what a #1 fan would do.

 

I don't know how to spoiler on mobile so I'm just keeping this less explicit... I had a not-so-public area of my body thoroughly examinated and never have I been farther away from liking touch, let alone resulting said touch in physical reactions indicating pleasure. Ever.

[Guest]

12 hours ago, Homer said:

@AVEN #1 fan

I kindly ask you to please stop making claims like that. What you're saying is misleading and confusing and pretty much precisely the opposite of what a #1 fan would do.

 

I don't know how to spoiler on mobile so I'm just keeping this less explicit... I had a not-so-public area of my body thoroughly examinated and never have I been farther away from liking touch, let alone resulting said touch in physical reactions indicating pleasure. Ever.

You can say penis/vagina, etc, without spoilers.  It's just when you get into graphic detail that it needs one (or triggering content). 

 

As for involuntary arousal...

 

My body does respond to touch with liquid production (have a vagina, so yeah). Doesn't matter if this is a touch that I like or not, it just happens. However, there is no pleasure response to go along with it. And, I wouldn't even notice, except it's been pointed out to me and now I know what to look for. *shrug* So, for some, yeah involuntary physical arousal happens due to stimuli. Doesn't mean it happens to all.

[Dudette]

I am scared people  , and I think someday I will get banned from here for trying to understand sexuality of LGBTAH, and I will get other aven member banned.

especially when it comes to male erection and sexual attraction.

Also especially when it comes to asexual wanting/willing to have sex to please his/her partner and sexual desire.

 

I know a person who is sexually attracted to women, but each time when a girl touches his genitals without his consent, he hates it.

But I know that there are many heterosexuals who like to be touched without their consent.

 

Also there is another issue which I want to mention

Spoiler

 

when I rubbed my genitals against a wall (I just tested it, out of curiosity), I feel some kind of physical pleasure .

I think it is because of the fact that I am manually stimulating myself. However, it is weird because I don't want to have sex with the wall

 

 

@AVEN #1 fan

I see his point, I mean according to many aces erection is possible for them, even if they do not have sexual desire for someone who they are romantically attracted to.

Also erection is possible according @Pan. when even riding a car! Also I have an erection when I don't sleep for 2 days and drink huge amount of coffee (I cannot control it, maybe I am just sleep-coffee-sexual).

[Puck]

4 minutes ago, Dudette said:

I am scared people  , and I think someday I will get banned from here for trying to understand sexuality of LGBTAH, and I will get other aven member banned

No worries, as long as you adhere to ToS, you won't get banned  Asking questions is allowed and a great way to, as you said, try to understand different sexualities. Just remember to be respectful and you'll be fine!

 

7 minutes ago, Dudette said:

I know a person who is sexually attracted to women, but each time when a girl touches his genitals without his consent, he hates it.

But I know that there are many heterosexuals who like to be touched without their consent.

No one should EVER touch another person without their consent. That is sexual harassment and should never be tolerated. It doesn't matter if one is sexually attracted to someone else, no one should every be touching another without consent.

 

12 minutes ago, Dudette said:

Also there is another issue which I want to mention, when I rubbed my genitals against a wall (I just tested it, out of curiosity), I feel some kind of physical pleasure .

I think it is because of the fact that I am manually stimulating myself. However, it is weird because I don't want to have sex with the wal

That's normal and also not related to sexual attraction. Genitals can get aroused by touch, but it doesn't mean you are sexual attracted to whatever that is. I believe you are confusing sexual arousal and attraction.

 

I'm gonna call in my friend, dictionary.com, for this one:

 

Arousal - to stimulate sexually

 

Attraction - a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices

 

Basically, attraction is looking at a person (or object) and finding them enticing or wanting to be with them, while arousal is the actual act of the sexual parts of your body "waking up," so to say. If you experience sexual attraction, then you can get aroused by another person, but attraction is not necessary when it comes to arousal. Of course, if a person gets aroused by another, that is a clear sign they are attracted to that person. But, they are two separate things.

 

Arousal can also occur form all sorts of things. Women might find themselves aroused around a certain time in their cycle, people might have dreams that get them excited, there might be a story that gets people "going..." It's not all related to attraction!

 

Does that help?

[Dudette]

3 minutes ago, Puck said:

No one should EVER touch another person without their consent. That is sexual harassment and should never be tolerated. It doesn't matter if one is sexually attracted to someone else, no one should every be touching another without consent.

 

I know, but when you are a guy you cannot simply go to the police or suing a person who did that to you  (but it is for another topic)

 

6 minutes ago, Puck said:

That's normal and also not related to sexual attraction. Genitals can get aroused by touch, but it doesn't mean you are sexual attracted to whatever that is. I believe you are confusing sexual arousal and attraction.

 

I'm gonna call in my friend, dictionary.com, for this one:

 

Arousal - to stimulate sexually

 

Attraction - a person or thing that draws, attracts, allures, or entices

 

Basically, attraction is looking at a person (or object) and finding them enticing or wanting to be with them, while arousal is the actual act of the sexual parts of your body "waking up," so to say. If you experience sexual attraction, then you can get aroused by another person, but attraction is not necessary when it comes to arousal. Of course, if a person gets aroused by another, that is a clear sign they are attracted to that person. But, they are two separate things.

 

Arousal can also occur form all sorts of things. Women might find themselves aroused around a certain time in their cycle, people might have dreams that get them excited, there might be a story that gets people "going..." It's not all related to attraction!

 

Does that help?

Yea I know, but there is another issue. Let us assume that you get aroused by something. you are next to a person who you love. That person tell you "if you don't have sex with me then I will leave you". Suddenly, somewhere in your brain you have to be willing/wanting to have sex with that person. My point is whether this would be classified as sexual attraction/desire? There are some aces who cannot do it, but I know there are some aces who can do it. the same with gays (when it comes to women).

Does it mean that some aces have some small sexual attraction?

[Puck]

3 minutes ago, Dudette said:

I know, but when you are a guy you cannot simply go to the police or suing a person who did that to you

Even if this is true, it doesn't mean it's ever ok. It's not, and society %100 should be fighting to take care of these victims. It shouldn't play into this argument, however, because such assault is not attraction.

 

6 minutes ago, Dudette said:

Yea I know, but there is another issue. Let us assume that you get aroused by something. you are next to a person who you love. That person tell you "if you don't have sex with me then I will leave you". Suddenly, somewhere in your brain you have to be willing/wanting to have sex with that person. My point is whether this would be classified as sexual attraction/desire? There are some aces who cannot do it, but I know there are some aces who can do it. the same with gays (when it comes to women).

Does it mean that some aces have some small sexual attraction?

If an asexual person chooses to have sex with their partner because their partner is sexual, it does not mean the asexual person is experiencing attraction or desire. It means they are supporting their partner. One can have sex with no attraction or desire. So, no, you example does not mean that asexuals can have sexual attraction.

 

Think of it this way, if I want to be a lawyer, I have to study. I don't like studying, but there are some who do. But I study anyway because I want to be a lawyer. It doesn't mean I have any desire to study, it means I want to be a lawyer. If studying it too hard for me, then I can choose to give up my lawyer career and find a better suited job.

 

In this metaphor, being a lawyer is like having a relationship. And studying is like having sex. For that particular relationship to work, I might choose to have sex. Or I can end the relationship and find one where my partner is ok with me not having sex.

 

Make sense? Always happy to clarify more  

[Dudette]

.