Levi_Navi Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I am a femme non binary trans male. I feel like many will challenge who I am because of how contradicting that sounds. This is what I feel resonants with me and what I am going to use... Thing is I was born in a female body. I want to come out to my parents seeing and I still live with them. I want to do this so that I can transition. Link to post Share on other sites
Roardova Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 Levi, I hope you consider the consequences of coming out to your parents while you still live with them. Take heed to every consequence & take your time before making this huge decision. I think you should give yourself till you at least twenty five before making this decision. Good luck either way. Link to post Share on other sites
God of the Forest Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 While I respect how you self identify and personally have no interest in challenging it, I will say that it would make 100% sense for many to challenge that and they wouldn't be in error for doing so, it sounds contradictory because it is. But how about we clarify what you mean when you say you are a "femme non-binary trans male". When you say femme I am assuming you are saying you behave and carry yourself in such away that is percieved as feminine, cool, anyone can be femme. When you say you are non-binary, im assuming that you mean that you do not identify as male or female,cool, but when you say you are trans male whilst also being non-binary, thats where things stop making sense. So just be aware that if people act confused or have a difficult time understanding when you tell them you are a femme non-binary trans male, its because it doesnt make any sense. And this isnt a simple thing of not understanding what is different from the norm, this is not understanding something that doesnt make sense. Physics 101 tells us that 2 objects cannot occupy that same space at that same time, well humans are the most intelligent species on Earth but even we cant be two contradictory things at once...unless youre Jamie Lee Curtis. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 What does "trans male" mean to you? I think that would help clarify things for others. Does it mean that you want to transition (what body you would feel better with) or that you feel male? Similarily, what does "non-binary" mean to you? Is it that you think you don't fit the binary system, or that you feel this way, or is it what you'd prefer to be called? Good luck and take care Link to post Share on other sites
Luftschlosseule Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I agree with the other posters. I don't know your parents, but I just assume that they don't know about non-binary genders, because loads of people don't unless they have a personal reason to. Your chosen label is very complex, and even I, who has been doing research on this topic for months, had to take a moment to puzzle that one out. It's like a sentence that is so long that in the end you need to re-read the beginning to make sense of it. Maybe it would be good to rephrase that label for your parents somehow, to make it easier understandable. It's a question of whether you want somebody to parrot what you say or if you want to bring them nearer to understanding. To give one example: I identify as agenderfluid but I think that both genderfluid and agender is hard to stomach for my parents, so I decided that I'll first tell them about non-binary genders and that I am agender and then look on. I don't even need to say genderfluid, just that my experience of gender is not stable from day to day and fluctuates. My parents don't care about sexual preferences and gender identities, they don't know anything specific apart from "some people are not what they genitalia say they are", and I'll have to explain from the start to make them understand, what's gender binary, so on. I decided I'll tell them because every time I see them I ask myself if I should do it now. I will tell them sooner or later, so I can at least chose the right moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted April 23, 2017 Share Posted April 23, 2017 I think I have an idea of what you're expressing with your label, though I'm more accustomed to using "transmasculine" as a way of describing a nonbinary identity than "trans male," since the latter comes from such a binary label. (Honestly, I feel so stuck in the middle sometimes. My experiences don't line up with femme transmen or masculine ones. It's like I'm in some weird nega space between gender-conforming and genderqueer despite being a binary guy.) If you want to transition, what things are most important to you? Can you use a binary label to get what you need and then incorporate the non-binary elements of your transition over time? Do you have a good way of predicting your parents' reactions? Do you have a backup plan should your family react badly? Do you have an offline support base that you can go to, like a group of friends or a good friend's family? Coming out is a huge, risky process, and while I hope everything works out, I also hope that you're mentally prepared for any outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Levi_Navi Posted April 23, 2017 Author Share Posted April 23, 2017 First off I want to say thanks for replying.. I was having a bad night because of dsyphoria. I found this label fit me the most. I can't exactly explain it. I found a post that I will link that explains it. https://letsqueerthingsup.com/2016/05/13/non-binary-trans-guy-isnt-contradiction/ Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Ohhh, that link pretty much sums it up for me too I think it's quite obvious! Yeah, you can be trans and femme for as far as i know I'd say: Welcome to the club! Sorry! late but i just noticed this thread Link to post Share on other sites
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