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The Divorce of Actor and Character


Algedonic

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Porn. Okay, out of the way. Do you become uncomfortable when you identify your sexual fantasies of people with actual people? I do. To elaborate, I can watch porn and get off on it, but I can only do that when I completely divorce myself from the idea of the porn actors as actual people. For another example: sometimes I am sexually attracted to fictional characters. Unfortunately, sometimes these characters have been introduced to me through live-action features, and thus their identities are inextricably linked with the physical appearances of the actors who portray them. So, when I have sexual fantasies about them and their physical appearances come into play, I have to force myself to stop thinking of them in terms of their actors, and so I essentially have to constantly deny that the actor exists, and I become uncomfortable when I am forced to acknowledge that the actors exist, even outside of my fantasies. So, I can't watch actor interviews. I can't contemplate ever trying to meet or talk to an actor about whom I have indirectly fantasised via their acting roles. I can't look at pictures of the actors online apart from promos and video-stills from the franchises. Every time I am reminded that the physical appearance of a character about whom I have fantasised is actually the physical appearance of a real person, I start imagining what the actual person is like, under what circumstances would I actually see them naked and have sex with them/watch them have sex, what would they think if they knew I was having sexual fantasies about them, what would their opinions be on the actual content of those sexual fantasies, how would their career as an actor play into it, how would I be able to tell them that I had had sexual fantasies about them? I just can't relax, and it's not very conductive to my main goal at the time, that being to get off.
I mean, I'm not denying that people exist outside of the sexual gratification their physiognomy can grant me. I am perfectly fine with people existing outside of my fantasies, and I respect that they don't exist solely to be objectified. I don't masturbate often, and I have never thought about sex with a person I have ever met--not even a guilty thought that I shot down; I just don't think about it with people I've met and thus know are actual people. I think that actors should at least be tolerant of the fact that they have made themselves sexual objects by virtue of their characters and lives on-screen; and I think that porn actors are very well aware that their job is to be objectified, and it is informed and consensual, and they are being paid and compensated for it, and everything is fine there. I just don't really understand my problem. It's rather awkward. I can't imagine sex with someone who isn't essentially an animate doll.

Anyway, my point was--any similar experiences? Any ideas about my own experiences? Any tentative labels you might want to toss out? Any advice?

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