chair jockey

are men/older aces no longer welcome here?

71 posts in this topic

I'm just going to leave THIS here, for no particular reason.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago,  Lia said:

What? Listen. You're upset about something that doesn't need anyone to be upset over it. It's a question about GYNECOLOGISTS. It's IMPLIED that the thread is for WOMEN (both female bodied identifying as female and female bodied identifying as male, as well as female bodied identifying as literally ANY OTHER GENDER). Nothing else. There's no hidden agenda. There's no nothing. The thread didn't apply to you. Move onto the next.

I think that wraps this up quite succinctly. Move on, we shall. to the OP, you're free to start more discussions to get men together and to hear their stories if you feel we aren't being fully represented. We do probably have to be a bit more vocal, as we are the minority here. Let's take it upon all of us, or those that feel they can't talk about their life freely, or whatever the issue is, and start making threads where we can talk about whatever male stuff we want. nobody is holding us back. it's easy to overlook ace guys, given how few there actually are relative to everyone else here. but I think the best route to go is attempting to create places for us to talk, not just get upset that the majority is largely focused on what is important to their life, as would be expected. If we are a minority, we must speak up and take action to improve this place where we see fit. and you just are never going to  get much sympathy claiming that you, a white male, aren't being properly recognized. nobody is sitting around wondering how they can help the unheard voice of white males be heard. Nor should they. If this problem exists, we can work to change that 

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's no way to prove that men or women are the minority on AVEN.  Names certainly aren't a good indication, and there could be thousands of men lurking  instead of posting.   So men, there's no reason to whine.  

4 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Sally said:

There's no way to prove that men or women are the minority on AVEN.  Names certainly aren't a good indication, and there could be thousands of men lurking  instead of posting.   So men, there's no reason to whine.  

 

There might not be exact numbers to pull from or confirm (it is the internet, after all), but that shouldn't mean dismissing how people feel about representation. As you say, there is no way to tell, so they have just as much chance to be correct in their perception. There's a number of male posters in this thread whom have encouraged more participation from their fellow male/male-bodied members to help resolve their concerns. I don't see that as "whining." And I don't think that people need to be chastised for sharing what they feel could be of benefit, when they're not all bashing women/womanly intent in the process.

*

 

As for the trope link shared earlier, how about we keep it respectful? It doesn't have much to do with the topic at hand, the OP bowed out and several people are attempting to discuss being self-aware and proactive in these situations. Fanning the flames doesn't seem to help the community when we look back on these threads, regardless of why they're created or by whom. That's just my two cents, anyway. Feel free to disagree. :)

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

It doesn't have much to do with the topic at hand,

I beg to differ

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

18 hours ago, chair jockey said:

 

If I unintentionally misgendered the member, I apoologize and shan't do so again.

 

But your point 2 is pure rhetoric. If you read the thread, it's like so many other newcomer threads lately. in the original post and all replies (except mine) there is a persistent presumption that asexuality is only for female-bodied people and by implication that there's no such thing as a male-bodied asexual. Given the nature of the original posts I think that YES, it is necessary to educate newcomers that asexuality is not only a female-bodied issue, because the newcomers strongly imply it.

I disagree. I read that thread and the reason men weren't mentioned because it was a thread about women's issues. There was no exclusion of men, there was a woman asking a question to other women (signalled pretty obviously by the question what does your gyno say?"). It was not in any way intended to deny male asexuality.

 

 

18 hours ago, Ciri said:

Women's issues have been shunned by the medical profession for decades and we have been shamed out of discussing them in public. Pushing them out of discussing it in any manner is only going to be detrimental to the health of that woman.

In fairness to chair jockey, I don't think he was asking for the issue not to be discussed, just that maybe it should have been started with a clearer acknowledgement that it was a thread for women's issues.

 

18 hours ago, chair jockey said:

 

The large number of members walking in presupposing, based on their personal experience, that asexual issues are restricted to their sex and gender, and nobody bothering to educate them that that's not the case, and this is happening in the newcomers forum rather than in a niche part of AVEN for specific topics or demographics. The newcomers forum should not be taken over by one sex or gender, with established members reinforcing the misimpression that only one sex or gender is welcome here.

I'm fairly sure that does not happen.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As someone who has an uterus and is older (mind you :D ) i find it quite hilarious to read there is so much to do around a thread that is about uterus problems and the gynecologist! 

 

OP: There really is no issue exept for the fact you might have misinterpret things for as far as i can read here in this thread.

 

 I hope you're ok :) 

 

 

 

 

 

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey, how about we try to not create an environment where people feel discouraged from starting threads about issues relating to their gender or anatomy? Men or male-bodied people shouldn't feel like their experiences won't be accepted by the asexual community because of that factor, and women or female-bodied people shouldn't be made to feel guilty if they are inclined to discuss their experiences. There is not exactly a limited amount of space for dialogue here, so people speaking up about experiences with gynecology doesn't enforce silence upon people without vulvae. (Just like most threads in Gender Discussion being about trans/non-binary experiences doesn't invalidate my cisgender experience, and issues pertaining to people's statuses as students or not working doesn't make me less accepted because I'm in the workforce.)

6 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To make it short: I claim a valid junior membership in the old farts' society at tender age of 46 and am still male.

I've been on & off AVEN for 11 years. - It has it's ups & downs. - Sometimes minorities discus their stuff; i.e.: I open "unread content" scroll through 3 pages and decide to fall asleep / get distracted, since I don't see a chance / temptation to engage in a topic. - That 's my problem & fault and maybe theoretically even my turn to toss in another ball.

I haven't yet felt being told to go home and mend stockings or out and burn film or whatever else us dinosaurs are suspected to be doing.

2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They must have deIeted the pinned ''asexuaI men'' thread without me noticing.. and David Jay must have been kicked off AVEN :S

3 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

CJ, to be honest, as an older male asexual, I kinda have trouble seeing where that particular thread would invalidate me. It would appear that you have a much different interpretation of that thread than most everyone else here does. People should be free to bring up threads particular to their interests and needs (within the bounds of the ToS, of course).

5 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now