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All things genderfluid!


Ruka S.

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k2005fishy

I know I am late to the party to post, but Hello everyone!  I am AFAB. I identify as genderfluid. I go between female and nonbinary. On female days I can happily rock a dress and makeup. On nonbinary days I want no part of female characteristics and wear a binder. I am closeted except for my best friend who knows and accepts me for me. 

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ChillaKilla

@k2005fishy Welcome! :cake:

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Good to meet you. I love that you've have such a good friend! And you aren't late at all. Anyone's allowed to post at anytime.

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Hi @k2005fishy! Have some :cake:

 

I'm sorta transmasculine still, but it's barely there. I feel tired of gender. That happens sometimes. I don't know if I feel tired of gender because its barely there of it it's the other way around? Maybe I'm about to be agender again. Gender is a mystery.

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Sean_Bird
3 hours ago, Finn. said:

 

Hi @k2005fishy! Have some :cake:

 

I'm sorta transmasculine still, but it's barely there. I feel tired of gender. That happens sometimes. I don't know if I feel tired of gender because its barely there of it it's the other way around? Maybe I'm about to be agender again. Gender is a mystery.

Lol, I get that way sometimes, too. I'll have a few weeks of going back and forth between extremely feminine or masculine, and sometimes bigender or third gender, and then I'll have a period of time where I just don't care anymore. It's kind of like "I have better shit to do than worry about this," and just legitimately don't care about what gender I am.

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k2005fishy
On 5/4/2017 at 2:58 AM, Sean-Kat said:

 

Being closeted does suck. Having no idea how people will react when you do tell them also sucks.

I totally understand the feeling of not knowing how people will react when you do tell them. I live in a rural super conservative area and the thought of coming out scares me to death.

On 5/4/2017 at 1:18 PM, Sean-Kat said:

 

I have been very open about my gender in college this last year to college students, though. Having a word for what I am has been empowering, and I kind of enjoy being a role model and example. Some days it's scary, but it's also reduced my anxiety on the topic a lot, since I'm not hiding anything anymore.

When I am with my friend or talking to him about gender it is very freeing as well.  The fear of telling my friend wasn't there because he is also LGBT+.  Anxiety free when I am around him. Hopefully, one day I will have less anxiety around everyone.

 

Thank you all for the cake! You make me feel so welcome here!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi folks! *waves* Nice to find this thread.

 

I also think I'm gender fluid though I've never really identified as that. I have days where I feel more feminine and days where I'm more masculine. I dress and look pretty gender neutral, short hair, don't wear make up, rarely wear dresses etc. I've never considered wearing a binder but I would prefer to be much more flat-chested than I am, the idea of surgery has occurred to me but it seems very final. I don't have any gender dysphoria but the idea of being completely female makes me uncomfortable, and I'm quite happy to be mistaken for male.

 

Reading this thread has actually made me think about it abit more haha.

Pleased to meet you all!

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Welcome @Calvin! If you have any questions or thoughts, then this section is the best place to be for it :P 

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  • 2 weeks later...
The-world-is-quiet-here

Does anyone else do that thing where you use people's pronouns differently depending on what your gender is that day?

 

I've noticed that when I feel cis(ish), I'm more likely to use someone's AGAB pronouns, or to think "oh, they/them aren't real pronouns." I do my best not to misgender people, but still... Idk. I feel hypocritical.

 

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5 hours ago, Finn. said:

 

So most of the time my gender is just "???", anybody with me?

My gender will sometimes shift into 3rd and 4th genders, but I don't have names for them. I just know that they're distinctly different.

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16 hours ago, Sean-Kat said:

My gender will sometimes shift into 3rd and 4th genders, but I don't have names for them. I just know that they're distinctly different.

yeah, i have something like that happen too! i'm still trying to make some sort of sense of it

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Ghost of AVEN

Hi everyone! I've been questioning my gender a lot recently and have almost come to the conclusion that I'm genderfluid. How comfortable I feel in my body changes a lot from day to day, and I've had some very female days where I feel like I'm in the wrong body. I think genderfluid best describes me, unless I find something else that suits me better. I think I'm mostly around the middle of the gender spectrum, but I've been having some masculine days lately. I think, wasn't really sure yesterday :P.

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Hi @Don't Wake The Muse! Identifying as genderfluid made me a lot happier in the regards of gender, it takes the pressure off me to have a specific fitting label, and to always match that label, and to just know what my gender is all the time which I don't. 

 

Also, I am in love with your icon!

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Ghost of AVEN
2 hours ago, Finn. said:

Hi @Don't Wake The Muse! Identifying as genderfluid made me a lot happier in the regards of gender, it takes the pressure off me to have a specific fitting label, and to always match that label, and to just know what my gender is all the time which I don't. 

 

Also, I am in love with your icon!

Aw thank you! The icon came about after a bit of an inside joke in AVEN chat. Also it's really cute. I think I flow through the genders slowly, and sometimes just sit for a while. I used to think I was definitely not genderfluid, but everything just sorta makes more sense being genderfluid when I think about it.

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So I don't really know where to post this but I figure this might be the place

Some days I wake up and feel totally comfortable with me being afab, some days I'm like why on earth am I this amd other days I'm more like I wish I looked more androgyn because what is gender. I don't know whether I'm just cis and don't really understand gender, or maybe agender, but my changing feelings make me wonder. How do you all feel your gender changes? Could I be genderfluid or does my 'dysphoria' (between marks because I'm not sure whether I can call it that way) just changes, depending on my mood or something? 

Any reactions or anything is welcome :) thanks for reading this and have a great day :cake:

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@Woef sounds like it could be genderfluid, or maybe flux from woman to agender in varying degrees. It can be pretty tough to feel valid if you're flux like that and afab, from ymy understanding and from what I've read.

 

And yeah! My dysphoria is pretty random, no matter my gender. My most dysphoric days happened when I was agender so far, but there is no set pattern.

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On 5/25/2017 at 1:58 AM, Woef said:

So I don't really know where to post this but I figure this might be the place

Some days I wake up and feel totally comfortable with me being afab, some days I'm like why on earth am I this amd other days I'm more like I wish I looked more androgyn because what is gender. I don't know whether I'm just cis and don't really understand gender, or maybe agender, but my changing feelings make me wonder. How do you all feel your gender changes? Could I be genderfluid or does my 'dysphoria' (between marks because I'm not sure whether I can call it that way) just changes, depending on my mood or something? 

Any reactions or anything is welcome :) thanks for reading this and have a great day :cake:

For me, I know that I'm gender fluid because I have days where I feel that I'm definitely female, and other days where I'm definitely a different gender. There are variations, but there is no doubt in my mind that I change genders and experience dysphoria.

 

As Finn. said, it sounds like you could be genderflux. (Shifting between one gender and agender) If you're genderfluid, it's entirely possible that you're shifting between agender, third gender, and female, but genderflux sounds more apt to what you're describing.

 

Hope that helped. :)

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Luftschlosseule

Hello there! I am agenderfluid, some days women, most days agender.
Regarding the chest operation question: Nope. At the moment, I think that binding in some way would be enough, but due to some health issues I am overweight and working on that so that my opinion on boobs might change when they're the only wobbly bit of me. A few days ago I heard of an alternative to sport bras and binders, a special kind of sport bra developed for dancers - they compress more like a binder than like a sport bra but you can breath freely and even excercise in them. You don't have a time limit for wearing them, and I probably could buy them in a store somewhere instead of having to buy them on the web. I prefer to test clothing because my body is kind of weird regarding proportions. I have problems with my spine and my heart, so I am not sure I want to use a binder, so that thingy sounds like the perfect solution for me.

 

I just noticed a thing and don't know if I am right or not, so I'd like to hear your opinions.
I've always had kind of two different handwritings which change. Not like some days I write more quickly and it's not as beautiful, more like usually small and spiderly, but on some days the "typical girly handwriting" with rounded letters and such. As I wrote something today, while thinking I am having a woman-day, I was wondering if there's a correlation or if I am imageing something.

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As for the chest thingy: I've got a binder but mostly just wear frogshaped sportsbra's.They're good for working out and you barely notice if you wear them.I wanted top surgery but got breast reduction surgery instead because i didn't want to get completely rid of them plus now they're quite small i don't have to wear a bra if i don't feel like it.As for the handwriting: I personally haven't seen a difference in handwriting on male or female days, it's usually just the same thing but it could differ per person.

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Breast reduction surgery would be great, but I'm so afraid of doctors and recovery and everything. Also, money is a factor.

 

As for the handwriting. Yeah, mine does change, but so far I only saw it in correlation with my mental health. I don't think my gender influences it? But now I'm definitely going to pay more attention to that!

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On 5/25/2017 at 11:38 AM, Finn. said:

@Woef sounds like it could be genderfluid, or maybe flux from woman to agender in varying degrees. It can be pretty tough to feel valid if you're flux like that and afab, from ymy understanding and from what I've read.

 

And yeah! My dysphoria is pretty random, no matter my gender. My most dysphoric days happened when I was agender so far, but there is no set pattern.

 

10 hours ago, Sean-Kat said:

For me, I know that I'm gender fluid because I have days where I feel that I'm definitely female, and other days where I'm definitely a different gender. There are variations, but there is no doubt in my mind that I change genders and experience dysphoria.

 

As Finn. said, it sounds like you could be genderflux. (Shifting between one gender and agender) If you're genderfluid, it's entirely possible that you're shifting between agender, third gender, and female, but genderflux sounds more apt to what you're describing.

 

Hope that helped. :)

Thank you both! I will look into genderflux more! 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Update: I might be genderfluid, as it turns out. I'm gonna see. 

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Luftschlosseule
13 hours ago, Philbo Penten said:

Update: I might be genderfluid, as it turns out. I'm gonna see. 

Somehow I am laughing, because it's just this "Oh, hey, I noticed something but since I am genderfluid I have no clue about how long I have to wait to verify this!".

In other words: Welcome!

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ChillaKilla

WOW, one of my rare moments of gender fluctuation hit me in the face like a BRICK! I knew it wouldn't last long, but those fleeting days where I feel so overwhelmingly, disarmingly MALE always throw me for a loop.

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My last significant other broke it off with me (after 4 years of dating) in large because I'm asexual and genderfluid. Last night, a good friend of mine asked me out. He knows I'm asexual and genderfluid, and he's okay with that. I'm happy.

 

Just felt like sharing. :3

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Most days I feel like I have no gender and other days I feel like a mix. It is very seldom that I swing all the way to boy or girl. I'm super excited because I just bought my first binder earlier this week! I can't wait for it to get here~

 

6 hours ago, Sean-Kat said:

My last significant other broke it off with me (after 4 years of dating) in large because I'm asexual and genderfluid. Last night, a good friend of mine asked me out. He knows I'm asexual and genderfluid, and he's okay with that. I'm happy.

I recently broke it off with a partner I had for 10 years because he wasn't supportive of me being genderfluid, so I relate. I'm so happy for you and your friend!

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  • 3 weeks later...
Cassiel Fae

Hi,  I'm genderfluid. Most of the time I'm female but I get really bad dysphoria when I'm a guy.  Sadly my parents are homophobic in the  extreme so I'm so far in the closet I found Narnia.  I was wondering if there are any tips you guys have that could help with the dysphoria?  Also if any of you know where to get a good binder for cheap I'd really appreciate it. Thanks :) 

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Hi @Kiaya! I don't know how old and independent you are. But if you have a say in what clothes you wear, go buy tight sports bras, maybe a more *masculine* watch, maybe some pieces from the men's section, sporty shoes. What also helped me was to stop carrying handbags, instead I switched to backpacks. Just experiment. *Girls* usually get away with a more masc gender expression without people raising their eyebrows too much.

 

I am transmasculine again! Dysphoria is a pain, but it's better today than the whole past week. So strange to have a gender again haha

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Enne Kristin

Oh yes :D if I wear "hochwasserjeans" and combine this with chelsea- or  docmartens-boots and nylonsocks (no matter if flesh, black or white...), this allready gave me raised eyebrows, as well normal shoes, like lowtop docs, vans etc. ... the trans/genderfluid part of lgtb+ seems to be disturbing for some people... and may it be just 5cm of my lower legg which does not look as it should ;)

 

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