Asexuality, health, coming out

[veggiebatgirl]

Howdy

 

So I've very recently realised I'm asexual. I can, objectively, find people of any gender 'attractive' but have never once in my life seen a person that I am sexually attracted to - even when I've been in sexually active relationships it was never enjoyable and it was never "I can't wait to go to your place" type of a thing.

 

I'm really scared about 'coming out' because of two things.

1) I have turner syndrome, which means I do not produce any estrogen. I'm worried my friends and family will think my asexuality is just me thinking I'm asexual due to a non-existent sex drive due to hormonal problems. I've been taking hormone replacements for about three years now, though, and I've not experienced any corresponding increase in sexual attraction or libido. 

2) I was diagnosed with depression last August and have been taking SSRIs since then. Obviously both the condition and the medication can impact sex drive.

 

Due to both of these things, I'm worried the people close to me (close enough to know about both of these conditions) will be super dismissive of my asexuality. Without going in to the ins and outs (lol) of my sexual history (especially with family!!) how do I 'convince' them? Also, given both of my conditions is it worth checking in with a doctor to make sure everything is 'ok'? It's not like things have suddenly changed, I've just been this way for as long as I can remember, so maybe I should just tell my friends and family that?

 

IDK?!

[Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet]

Hi Veganbatgirl!

Yes,if I were you,I would check to make sure everything is okay.

You never know,your turner syndrome and depression may be messing with your sex drive.

 

I would suggest you get the book "The invisible orientation: a guide to asexuality" By Julie Sondra Decker.

This book helped me a lot when I came out to my Mom.

Come out when you feel ready.

 

You don't have to 'convince' them of anything. Just tell them that you are ace.

If they make rude remarks or try to dismiss your asexuality, explain to them how it hurts your feelings

and that you wished they respect how you feel.

They have every right to think what they want to think,but it would be wrong for them to be super dismissive of how you feel.

 

I am sorry if I wasn't much help. Good luck to you.

Others here probably have better advice than me.

*Hugs*

 

[Allegra]

It can always be worth getting a medical check-up, especially if it would make you feel better, and because you do have existing health conditions. But that doesn't mean either will have anything to do with your sexuality, and you know what? Even if one or both may be contributing, that doesn't mean you aren't asexual! If there's something unbalanced and once resolved you still feel no sex drive or sexual attraction, then perhaps it was just coincidence.

 

You should never have to justify your identity or orientation. Of course, people may still question, because people are curious, people looks for easy explanations, a lot of people are unfamiliar with asexuality, people can be jerks, etc. I hope if/when you choose to come out people take you at your word, because that's what they should do. 

 

46 minutes ago, Ruru+Saphhy=Garnet said:

If they make rude remarks or try to dismiss your asexuality, explain to them how it hurts your feelings

and that you wished they respect how you feel.

I like this advice. No point in arguing with someone who isn't being understanding or refuses to be.