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Am I really CIS?


RozariNight

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RozariNight

hello~

i thought i should make this cause for awhile now i have been wondering if i am really cis or im possibly a demigendered person

i know the definition between the two but it doesnt really help me out much on figuring out who i might be

like i am aware i am born a female and i do not mind if people use female and gender neutral pronouns with me, but sometimes i feel a bit weird whenever someone calls me a "girl" or a "lady/woman"???

i cant really explain this feeling and i was wondering if there is any demigendered or any type really that can give me examples as to how to tell if i am really cis or not

i just want to end this confusion and if i am cis then i dont mind, and if im not, i also dont mind

i just want to know

 

thank you for reading~

 

p.s. im not sure if this will help as well, but i never really thought much of my gender before, i tend to feel "neutral" about it i suppose?

and also i have noticed whenever i say things that supports girls and to encourage them to be the best they can be, i dont really feel like im "part" of that group

but idk if its just my mind being mean to me or i just really dont fully identify being a female

but again, if anyone can give me some examples or clues to figure myself out, that would be really awesome~

[sorry if this was long read x v x ]

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Hello. I'm not exactly sure of the differences between all of the new, recent gender labels, but for me, I knew I was cis after being upset when a woman mistook me for a boy and told me to leave the women's restroom and use the boy's, and when a couple of young female employees laughed at me when they thought I was male, when I was in my late teens. Being a tomboy, I thought I wouldn't care what other people thought of me, but it turned out I actually did, especially because I was trying my best to look feminine, by wearing bright clothes.

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AVEN #1 fan

If you like to be seen as and feel like a girl, yeah that's cis, no matter how you express yourself.

 

Demigenders, as what I've been told, are people who have more than  1 gender identity so they are fluid, demigirls are part girls.

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Galactic Turtle

Also not sure if I can help because I too am cis. I was also a tomboy when I was younger simply because I liked boy's clothes better than girl's clothes (they had more pockets and more Star Wars designs). People mistook me for a boy sometimes and I didn't mind it at all. I guess I kind of looked like a boy, so it wasn't a surprise when people said "he" instead of "she." Nevertheless I know I'm a girl and I go through the world being treated like a girl. In my own experience I directly correlate my sex with my gender because there was never any internal dissonance in that regard... kind of like how a sexual person might've never thought to differentiate sexual and romantic orientation, for example, when they call themselves gay/straight/bi/whatever. This is why being anything other than cis never really crossed my mind as a possibility. 

 

You should think about why you feel strange when someone calls you girl/lady/woman. In my case gender specific words like girl/lady/woman were always kind of used against me and are still used against me to this day to point out faults in my behavior/mannerisms/interests. I didn't like "girly" things as a kid and while as an adult I still kind of look at men in confusion when I see them interacting with each other, my friends say I give off a decidedly more masculine vibe simply because of the way I dress and my emotional response to certain things. Despite all this, I'm a girl, and if everyone I interacted with whether it be a friend or a cashier started addressing me as if I were a boy I would be very confused, annoyed, and eventually frustrated... especially if I were forced to go into men's locker rooms in high school. Yikes. Blegh. Ew. No.

 

A lot of people on AVEN I think sometimes confuse gender identity with gender expression.

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  • 2 weeks later...
RozariNight

@Galactic Turtle

ah i never really heard about gender expression before o:

i'll probably look more into that! :D

thank you for your help <3

 

also thank you @sg06 and @AVEN #1 fan for answering my question!~

thanks for your advice even if i answered them a bit late ^^;;

 

i'll look more into the whole gender thing for myself and figure out who i am c:

again, thank you all <3

 

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Comrade F&F
Spoiler

 

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Maybe This list can help you figure things out. It's a good thing to start with, I can also reccomend asking around and talking to others on their experiences. I hope this small bit helps!

 

 

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binary suns

(im posting a new thread with general advice - gimme 20 minutes - posted to get the content from my phone to computer, need to edit it) (actually probably longer, I've been thinking about making a post for a few days now, and I'm currently working on making it real formal and stuff, so I'm gonna try to make it a full presentation of explanations, format it so it can be skimmed or deeply read where preferred, and review it to make sure it is as clear and well-organized as I can muster this morning. look for it around noon - six hours from now - I'll likely post it sooner but I'm not promising I won't use the full morning on this hehe) screw this, I'm gonna work on this with the intention to publish lol. I dunno what precautions I'm suppose to take regarding copyright or whatever. 

 

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binary suns

^ see edit...

 

 

the generalist advice I love to give to anyone asking all questions is - 

 

 

patience, effort. 

 

it takes time to learn, time to accept anything which unsettles, and time to apply any change through action, practice or habituation. 

 

Regarding gender, it took me about a year to realize that I was agender, and about a half a year more to realize I was trans. it took me about half a year from that to accept those facts, and then a year and a half beyond that to form my identity as a woman. Because despite being genderless by default, I am trans, and in being trans that makes me a woman.. if that makes any sense lol... 

 

Are you cis? well, you probably are - most people are cis. in fact, most cis people are only cis by default. they don't look inwardly and say, "yeah I'm definitely a girl/boy" no they say they are because it makes sense because that's what their genes say, and that's what culture says, and that works just fine for them. this don't make them nonbinary, because ultimately at the end of the day they think of themselves as a woman or as a man, but that's not due to gender for them - that's due to biology/convenience. (note this is generally speaking) 

 

Gender diversity comes from when the matter of convenience isn't good enough, and the nonbinary leaning needs to be affirmed - or from when there is some intrinsic preference to fit in as a certain gender that disagrees with that "default convenience", leading to a person journeying through social or even medical transition. 

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angelic_rowan

it depends on what you're comfortable with, but you probably are cis. there's nothing wrong with questioning your identity though.

personally, for me, i knew i wasn't cis because i disliked female pronouns/being called a girl/woman and when i was called a boy/man or was being referred to as he/him, i was a lot happier and felt better.

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