Not saying anything to acknowledge ("You're welcome", "No problem", etc) gratitude ("Thank you", etc).

[Not Active]

It used to really bother me that people did not say anything to acknowledge gratitude. I became used to it over time and figured that maybe people are busy or it doesn't really matter. I have to say it all the time myself, so that I don't seem rude. However, it seems like no one else says it. This seems strange because when I asked people in real life what they thought about this, they said that they find it very rude. The same appears to be true online when I searched for this. 

 

What do you think about this? Do you acknowledge gratitude?

[NoMansWifi]

In my opinion, it's good to acknowledge gratitude but if they don't then I'm not bothered by it. I believe that it can be more important to show gratitude to people than to acknowledge it, but it is preferred for someone to acknowledge it.

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

I'm neutral about it, we all rarely respond and it's not new. Just as being spoken to by people who do not know on the bus, I do not show any way of responding, I have no need to respond, It's ingrained in many minds that we all shall respond, expect  quick answers. You can say something if you wish, really I never really talk to anyone even if the try to make me speak.

[Tintinfan]

I'm British we say sorry for everything and everyone.

[ChillaKilla]

8 minutes ago, Tintinfan said:

I'm British we say sorry for everything and everyone.

Thought that was Canada  Britain is known for backhanded apology, no?

[Tintinfan]

If someone steps on my feet it is me that says sorry not the person how stepped on the foot 

We say sorry even is nothing has happened

[Guest]

I'd be a little bothered if I went through a lot of trouble for someone and they don't express any gratitude thereafter. But if it wasn't much trouble it doesn't bug me too much if they don't say anything.

 

For me I say thank you to pretty much anything. People holding doors for me/a food worker handing me my order/etc -- I automatically say "thank you" to those at this point.

[Amelys]

I say "thank you", "please", "excuse me" and "sorry" almost all the time, blame my mother who always told me you can't say those words too often. It doesn't really bother me when people don't do the same though. Except, that is, when you help a friend, an acquaintance,... with something big, in those cases I do like receiving a thank you or something of the sort.

[Anthracite_Impreza]

1 hour ago, Tintinfan said:

I'm British we say sorry for everything and everyone.

I've apologised for my inconvenient existence before.

[ChillaKilla]

18 minutes ago, Anthracite_Impreza said:

I've apologised for my inconvenient existence before.

I'm not even British and I do this

[fiѕh]

I say it when I feel it's necessary... some people just seem to get awkward when expected phrases like these don't come. As if you got up for a handshake and the person ignores your hand midair. They look like "uhm, did he hear me now or...?" and start to smile a lot, lol. 

 

I rarely say them to people who know me and I really neither need a "thank you" nor a "you're welcome" for anything. I prefer when someone does whatever feels natural and lets me do the same, and that's rarely the common polite reply. I also find it tiring cause I'm busy saying and doing things to not seem distant a lot, too. Like, a lot. It's not worth having friendly conversations turn into a chore. 

[LadyNobody]

I put "other" because while I don't consider it rude to not acknowledge gratitude, I still like it when people do so.  I can be a bit bad with reading people sometimes so not hearing a "you're welcome" (or similar phrase) makes me wonder whether they weren't happy to do whatever they did for me, or felt obligated, or whether they just didn't hear me or are tired; so, while getting a response doesn't necessarily preclude any of the above, it DOES give me more (tone, body language, eye contact or lack thereof) to draw inferences from.  So, it's helpful to me, even if I hardly consider the person I'm thanking obligated to help me with my occasionally-shaky understanding of social cues.

[TessaMe]

I had to think about this a little.  I always show my gratitude, but I can be informal sometimes acknowledging gratitude.  Like, I might say, "Sure" or flash a smile and a head nod as opposed to a full blown "You're welcome".  It depends on the situation, but I'm fairly confident I always acknowledge the person thanking me. 

 

As far as other people are concerned, again, I guess it depends on the situation.  If I thank someone for holding a door and they don't say "you're welcome," I don't really care, but if it was a more involved exchange, I feel like most people are going to offer that acknowledgement of gratitude anyway.  If they didn't, it would probably incite one of those awkward "ooookay?" moments in my head, but otherwise, not a big deal for me.

[Planet Ace]

Well, I don't know how I feel about it, as to the best of my knowledge I've never had anyone fail to acknowledge my expressions of gratitude in some way, however small. I suppose it could be considered rude in certain situations, but acceptable in others. So I'm of no firm opinion on the matter.

 

I almost answered the second question with "always," but then I realized the question wasn't "do you acknowledge gratitude," but rather "do you say anything to acknowledge gratitude," which is a different question. The truth is, I do always acknowledge expressions gratitude, but not always verbally. Sometimes when someone thanks me for something, I'll respond with a tip of the head and a little smile, the nonverbal equivalent of saying "it's my pleasure." So I answered that with "most of the time."

[Grumpy Alien]

I always say something but I don't really care if they do.

[kani]

Finns are apparently (in)famous for not greeting or thanking others, especially strangers. One word we do use instead is "oho" which is basically like "oops" or "whoa". So if i bump into you I might say "oho" instead of sorry.

Spoiler

 

There're also words that don't sound so formal, and those are more commonly used and I tend to use those. In some situations it's just very automatic, like thanking the cashier, but then again it's not as genuine so I don't think it's a big deal not to say it. Those kind of situations can still make me feel anxious, just knowing I have to greet the bus driver makes my heart rate go up, so I sometimes don't say anything even if it makes me seem rude.

[Guest]

I really only say it cause I'm expected to... I grew up in a family that didn't really do it and it wasn't expected and we still knew something was appreciated so it doesn't seem a big deal to me. 

[Piotrek]

@arokani

Isn't the last one on the list actually a swearword?

[LeChat]

Well, because I grew up being expected to be polite to others, and saw other adults in one state greeting my parents politely, even, though they didn't know them, that's why I thought others seemed rude, scared, or aloof in the south, for only talking to their close friends or family in public, ( especially always taking about "We southerners are friendly towards everyone; we have southern hospitality"), but clamming up if someone they didn't know was trying to make friends with them or be kind.

 

It hurts when you're forced to be a transplant through no fault of your own and locals ignore you and don't want to talk to you or be your friend, just because you weren't fortunate or lucky enough to grow up in the same place for most of your life or childhood. It feels like everyone has a friend except you.

 

Another reason why I wanted to greet people and show that I'm friendly is because I wanted to diffuse the racial tension or misunderstanding that some of the local people have: it was important to me to show that my family isn't from the south and didn't own slaves, and that I wasn't brought up to dislike other races because at one middle school I as a new student, one student mistakenly assumed my family was from the south and accused my ancestors of being slaveowners, when they weren't even in the U.S. at that time. I didn't want people to assume or mistake me for a racist southerner, so that's why I thought it was important to speak, especially since I live in a majority minority area: I wanted to show my non-southern accent, so that people would know I'm a transplant, not from there.

[Mychemicalqpr]

I've been told I'm guilty of this.  Thank yous make me kind of uncomfortable sometimes. I usually feel like I'm getting too much credit for nothing or someone else could have done better, so I don't want to accept it by replying. It might be a depression thing.

 

I don't expect anyone else to reply to my thank yous either. I don't think I've ever paid much attention to whether or not they do. 

[kani]

1 hour ago, Piotrek said:

@arokani

Isn't the last one on the list actually a swearword?

Yeah it's basically like saying "Fuck it"

[Starscream]

It doesn't really bother me, even if their gratitude is in the form of "Yup" instead of "You're welcome", I consider it acceptable and fine. It's not something that weighs on my mind, though. I am pretty good about showing gratitude to people most of the time.

[Sally]

I do, always -- probably a function of my age and training.   I think women over 40 are more apt to thank/apologize than younger women, but it seems even younger women thank/apologize more than men.  It's amusing when one woman inadvertently gets in another's way and we both apologize.

[Euna]

Funny, I was just thinking about this recently, when I realized I'd got into the weird habit of saying "yeah!" after someone says "thank you."  (And by "yeah!", I mean in a it's really no problem! tone.)  So I'm trying to re-train myself to say "you're welcome" again, or "no problem" when appropriate.

 

As far as getting acknowledgments from other people, I don't feel strongly one way or the other.  Especially if it's in email.  I don't feel a need for an email that says "you're welcome"...I assume I'm welcome. 

[Skycaptain]

I appreciate it if people do acknowledge you, and likewise I try to myself. Fair enough, we all forget occasionally. I would describe not doing so as a little ill mannered, rather than downright rude though. 

Mind it's probably more noticeable when people don't, living in a country where such manners are taught from a young age 

[Togee]

19 hours ago, Piotrek said:

@arokani

Isn't the last one on the list actually a swearword?

 

Yep, but vitut

[Perissodactyla]

Acknowledging gratitude for WHAT?

I don't think it's possible to be abstract about an exchange like this.

 

1.) "Thank you."

2.) "You're welcome." or "No problem." or "It was a pleasure." etc.

 

What was exchanged that warranted a "Thank you"?

It makes a difference, obviously.

 

Much of the time, no acknowledgement of gratitude is necessary at all.

If a meaningful act of generosity has occurred, it might makes sense to expect acknowledgement.

 

It also depends how graceful the person is in social etiquette or politeness. But many people lack basic politeness.

If you have an expectation that they should say some form of "You're welcome., No problem." etc. it's a little bit like expecting them to thank YOU for thanking THEM... which is a bit absurd, of course.

 

A lot of times, it just feels awkward to feel like you are being forced into thanking someone for thanking you.

 

Maybe you do something with a helpful generous spirit, that might cause gratitude that makes you embarrassed, since you don't identify with doing anything special at all... or needing to be recognized for doing something helpful or nice. Maybe it was a simple act of courtesy, for example.

 

So again, it depends on what happened. And also it depends on your attitude towards polite language usage, and how you interpret what it means or what lack of it means.

 

Also, it tells you about your relationship with the other person. 

 

I give someone a gift or a favor. They say Thank you. I most often will not say you're welcome, because it just seems unnecessary.

Or I consider for a moment if that person will be offended if I don't say You're welcome. 

So... saying it is a bit false, since one is kind of being forced into playing a silly social game. 

ha

 

 

 

[Guest]

Acknowledging gratitude is a hugely important thing to me. Hell, I even thank janitors and busboys!

[XYZ96]

It doesn't upset me or anything when people forget to say thanks.. though it depends on the situation and person how much it doesn't matters, but meh, if you forget to say thanks or whatever that's fine. I usually say thanks, if I don't it's because I'm not paying attention or deep in thoughts or didn't manage to say it loud enough and it wasn't audible... 

[Larkaloke]

It doesn't bother me if people don't do it, but I almost always do say something myself -- aside from in those cases when I don't know what to say. Even so, I'll usually say something in response, even if it's "no problem" or the like.