embracetheace. Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 I have always been asexual, but realized it only a few months ago. At the start of my now 2.5 year relationship, I was overly sexual. Now, I never want sex. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Could it be a subconscious way my brain tried to secure the relationship because it knew sex is what other humans need? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Busrider Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Maybe? My explanation for a similar experience in my relationships is: At some point everything gets kind of lame. - Would you stay up late in the night to finish re-reading Harry Potter for the 3rd time? - I read the books once and feel content. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Its not uncommon for people to be overly anything at the start of a new relationship. You're eitheralways happy, excited, nervous, determined, sexual, and many other things when the initial sparks fly. With time however comes predictability or routine and as a result, there is no longer such an intense feeling as when the relationship first began. Without the intense feelings we go back to our usual self and may find we are bothered or annoyed by what we did/are doing or how a partner behaves. Its part of the "love is blind" phase. If things progress, although at a much more stable/slower rate, you can call it love. If not, well its like a fling/crush. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Homer Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 1 hour ago, embracetheace. said: I have always been asexual, but realized it only a few months ago. At the start of my now 2.5 year relationship, I was overly sexual. Now, I never want sex. How does this work? I don't really get it. Being overly excited and wanting to experience things all at once is a common experience at the start of a relationship. Some things fade once you've regained a clear conscience. It's natural for sexual "appetite" to fade (here's a gazillion articles on the matter). That in itself is a regular occurance among plain ol' sexual folks. It could be anything; maybe you were just curious (at the beginning) and now you're kinda bored because you've got your "answers"... maybe it's something entirely different. Yet frankly, I think that the answer to the question at the end of your post is "no." Is it your first relationship / the first time you've experienced this? Did your feelings towards your SO (not related to sex) change over time? Welcome to AVEN Quote Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 Welcome to AVEN A lot of people overdo it at the beginning, because of all the emotions and hormones you feel good and want to give it your all. Thing is if you want to do a long term relationship, kind of should pace yourself. Newly wedded couples go through this a lot, at the start of the marriage on their honeymoon everything is great and passion is exploding left and right. Everything is great, then fast forward several months and that initial passion has died down because the couple is back in reality and has to take care of bills, kids, work, or school. They just get caught up in the daily things and forget why they are together at all. So yeah, it happens but just up to the couple if they want to make it work or not. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MakeupJunkie4 Posted April 10, 2017 Share Posted April 10, 2017 6 hours ago, Homer said: How does this work? I don't really get it. Being overly excited and wanting to experience things all at once is a common experience at the start of a relationship. Some things fade once you've regained a clear conscience. It's natural for sexual "appetite" to fade (here's a gazillion articles on the matter). That in itself is a regular occurance among plain ol' sexual folks. It could be anything; maybe you were just curious (at the beginning) and now you're kinda bored because you've got your "answers"... maybe it's something entirely different. Yet frankly, I think that the answer to the question at the end of your post is "no." Is it your first relationship / the first time you've experienced this? Did your feelings towards your SO (not related to sex) change over time? Welcome to AVEN I agree with Homer. Might have been curiosity and now that you know what it's like, it's not interesting anymore. I can relate to the whole "I've always been, but recently discovered I'm an ace". I'm glad you're here, newbie. 🍰 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
mari Posted April 16, 2017 Share Posted April 16, 2017 I have had 4 couples since I was 13 I always began sexually. 1st it between my 13 and 15 y/o. I began my sexuality at 14 and it last at 15, it was a great experience, I discovered love and sex and was great. 2nd between my 16 to 24. At the beginning it was great but I began losing the interest. 3rd 25 to 39. Same as the previous, we did not have sex the last 8 years. I agree that he had sex with prostitution. This was the most important partner. 4rd 39... we began in a kind of kinky sex, he was a narcissistic and sex end. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MrDane Posted April 17, 2017 Share Posted April 17, 2017 On 10/4/2017 at 4:44 PM, embracetheace. said: I have always been asexual, but realized it only a few months ago. At the start of my now 2.5 year relationship, I was overly sexual. Now, I never want sex. I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this. Could it be a subconscious way my brain tried to secure the relationship because it knew sex is what other humans need? Perhaps it was fun and exciting, but not because of the sex in itself. But as you got to know eachother, then sex was not interesting and groundbreaking news anymore! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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