I'm aromantic because...

[argar]

6 hours ago, helana12_03 said:

I don't want to waste the money I don't have on some stupid relationship

Yes!

 

This!

 

Although I am not aromantic.

 

[arekathevampyre]

I am aromantic because ... 

I am not into lovey-dovey stuff . 

I hate wasting money buying gifts for all the occasions . 

I am not into physical contact . 

I am super good at driving people away (the best reason)

[MackerelGray]

...I don't get crushes.

...I don't understand exclusivity; I really don't get jealous if other people like being around my friendo.

...Speaking of that friendo, I want to be emotionally and physically close with them without being considered "an item."

...The idea of being in a romantic relationship makes me very uncomfortable.

...I don't even understand the definition of "romantic" anyway.

 

I feel like the odd one out on this topic, because beyond wanting to remain single, I'm extremely tactile and quick to affection. I like to lean against people when talking with them and can say "I love you" to just about anyone when really hyped up. It's rather weird that I hate the idea of dating after saying I enjoy all that stuff, but I want to let the affection bubble up naturally as time goes on rather than trying to force it on someone at a single blind dinner date.

 

Also I have a friend who's basically my QPP? I can compliment and cuddle with them for an eternity without boredom because I love seeing them happy, and I'm probably way more intensely invested in their well-being than is considered "normal" for an opposite-sex pair of friends. I'd be totally a-okay with marrying them so we can be legal life roommates. However, I'd still totally be fine if they got romantic or cuddly with some other person.

 

I (like to) think I understand why romantic partners are so cuddly - because they like making each other happy and strengthening their bonds? - but the possessiveness and exclusivity nag at me. Why is it a "you should only shower love on one person" deal?

[Beaver Boy]

On 9/24/2017 at 1:58 PM, MackerelGray said:

...I don't get crushes.

...I don't understand exclusivity; I really don't get jealous if other people like being around my friendo.

...Speaking of that friendo, I want to be emotionally and physically close with them without being considered "an item."

...The idea of being in a romantic relationship makes me very uncomfortable.

...I don't even understand the definition of "romantic" anyway.

 

I feel like the odd one out on this topic, because beyond wanting to remain single, I'm extremely tactile and quick to affection. I like to lean against people when talking with them and can say "I love you" to just about anyone when really hyped up. It's rather weird that I hate the idea of dating after saying I enjoy all that stuff, but I want to let the affection bubble up naturally as time goes on rather than trying to force it on someone at a single blind dinner date.

 

Also I have a friend who's basically my QPP? I can compliment and cuddle with them for an eternity without boredom because I love seeing them happy, and I'm probably way more intensely invested in their well-being than is considered "normal" for an opposite-sex pair of friends. I'd be totally a-okay with marrying them so we can be legal life roommates. However, I'd still totally be fine if they got romantic or cuddly with some other person.

 

I (like to) think I understand why romantic partners are so cuddly - because they like making each other happy and strengthening their bonds? - but the possessiveness and exclusivity nag at me. Why is it a "you should only shower love on one person" deal?

I think I'm kind of similar to you. I don't really understand what romantic attraction is either. I like hugging and cuddling with people I have crushes? / squishes? on, but I don't really understand what the point of dating is either. What's the difference between that and spending quality time with a really close friend? I consider myself to be quoiromantic or maybe aromantic, but I don't think I fit the typical "aro" mold - i.e. I feel like I have too strong of a desire for cuddling, but only with the opposite sex.

 

Also, I'm really confused about why this so-called "friend zone" is so bad.

[SilentRose]

-I have to "force" myself to date, and when I get into relationships it's usually for fear of loneliness. 

-I rarely can have a relationship for more than a few weeks because no matter how infrequently I see my partner I always feel suffocated. 

-I never seek out romantic relationships since I have no drive to. 

-Without fail I am always happier and less stressed when single

-when daydreaming about my future, I do not picture a wedding or a husband, never have. I fantasize about having a nice condo all to myself, a few pets and close friends nearby. No husband in the equation at all. 

-the only reason I'm able to date my current boyfriend is I see him as more of a friend and companion than a romantic partner. 

[Florenna]

I've considered myself more grey-romantic than fully aro, but let's see which here apply to me... These are the biggest ones, I guess:

...I don't want to share a bed, I can't sleep properly that way! (How can anyone?!)
...Neither do I want to share a flat / house (with another grownup, that is; been there done that, and especially the last effort, called marriage, didn't work at all)
...I don't like cuddling, hugging etc much, except with my kids
...I don't feel intensely about other (grownup) people very often

...I just don't get the idea of coupling, i.e. why everyone should necessarily be in a couple 

[Florenna]

On 9/24/2017 at 8:58 PM, MackerelGray said:

I (like to) think I understand why romantic partners are so cuddly - because they like making each other happy and strengthening their bonds? - but the possessiveness and exclusivity nag at me. Why is it a "you should only shower love on one person" deal?

Yes, and like that one person was somehow "better" than all the other persons existing...! Like, how? I admit I've often wondered this, when I see people walking in each others' arms and one or both is/are unattractive, for example... (Some may thing that sounds horrible, but I'm just being honest...)

 

18 hours ago, SilentRose said:

-the only reason I'm able to date my current boyfriend is I see him as more of a friend and companion than a romantic partner. 

Where do you meet such males?!   As all I ever come across nowadays flat-out refuse to consider the idea of a relationship without the romantic closeness & sex... (Although, considering what I wrote in the message above, maybe that's just as well... ;))

[Ldlelee]

...I don't want to share anything. Bedroom, bathroom, car, apartment, bank account, couch, breathing space - none of that.

 

...I don't like people touching me. (Not unless I trust them, and that's pretty much only my family and my best friend.)

 

...I'm perfectly happy being single.

 

...I like being alone.

 

...I don't want to be tied down.

 

...I don't want to get married, I don't want to have kids, the idea of being in a relationship doesn't interest me at all, and because I watch couples being affectionate with each other and it grosses me out so much, and all I can think is, "I never, ever want to be like that."

 

That is why I am aromantic.

[try again]

On 4/8/2017 at 8:37 PM, Snao Cone said:

...I want to stay single for the rest of my life.

...I don't want to see the same person every day.

...I don't want regular kind and thoughtful gestures performed for me.

...I don't want to share a bed.

...I'm not an affectionate person (except to dogs).

...I don't feel intensely about other people very often.

 

And yet, from what I understand from reading the thoughts and experiences of other aromantic people, none of these things are really connected to aromanticism. I only associate them with aromanticism because the opposite is seen as romantic, but an aromantic person may be the complete opposite of me on all of these and yet their aromanticism is considered equally if not more valid than mine. Funny how much variety there can be within one group, just based on the vagueness of the word they want to distance themselves from.

Wow, every single line is a thought out of my head (even the dogs part). And i just naturally assumed that was the way all aromantics are and never gave it any more thought. Even though aromantic label is still a label, it was useful to quickly transmit my general state of mind. Well, as it turns out now, it does not describe me properly, as there is indeed just so much variety, even within this topic alone.

 

I hope the understanding of variety within aromanticism won't trigger splitting it into million different names, as with romanticism. It would bring even more chaos. It just feels like someone applies divide and conquer principle to the community.

[Guest Jetsun Milarepa]

I'm aromantic because I don't have romantic feelings towards anyone, but I do have friendships and I love my daughter.

[arekathevampyre]

I am aromatic because I have no urge to be in a romantic relationship but rather have close friends and family who care for me .

[Wierd_Asexual]

- I don't want to share a bed.

- I like the idea of kissing but actually doing it grosses me out.

- All my "crushes" are actually squishes.

- The closest I'll ever get to a relationship is having a dog.

- My last relationship was VERY short. (Yeah it was bad)

- I don't want to get married.