Is clothing a good way of making a statement?

[Emery.]

So... I'm not particularily comfortable with socialising as a cis het woman... 

 

If it would be possible, I would just come out and say things and that would be it. I'm talking about classmates in college. But for one I'm not too sure if we don't have homophobes on board. You never know. And two, the thing is that I'm more similar to a man than a woman internally and I'm not sure what it exactly means. And I'm not sure if I said that, if anyone would get it. 

 

So all in all. I'm thinking of ways of expressing myself and I have concluded that I'm going to do whatever I want, hobby wise and so forth. I don't have needs to express my gender for myself. I have a need of decent socialising. That's all. And I like feminine clothes. So... do you think... if I dress like a guy, or rather like a tomboy, would that work? Would that be an understandable statememt? Would it hit anywhere near home? Or would my efforts be futile? What do you think about it?

[Emery.]

I e if you saw someone do it, what would it make you think? Is the wanted effect achieved? If not, then what are your suggestions and why?

[cinary]

I'm agender and I've dressed as a tomboy my whole life and no, it won't be an understandable statement. When I was younger most people that were about my mothers age said I would "change into woman when I'll be older" and to be honest it still hasn't changed. And people my age just don't get it I guess? I mean I've never heard any comments about my gender. So I won't work. Although you'll be very extreme I guess. So it's not worth it, just wear what you like

[Emery.]

That you didn't hear comments, doesn't mean nobody thought nothing. 

 

Also, what do you have in mind by not working? Because I've noticed sitting in this forum that different people mean different things by being recognised as their gender. I mean, I would be okey with being viewed as a tomboy or as a lesbian, but hell, they could acknowledge this masculine aspect of my identity in the end. I'm just being stereotyped all the time into the wrong box, and I want to at least try to get out. 

 

I mean the clothes I like are all over the place, and in fact, todays fashion is unisex or feminie, and different styles... so... meh... there is really no way to dress masciline. Maybe?

[Busrider]

I guess it won't work.

IDK what we are talking about clothes wise. I further don't know your hairdo. And worst of all: I maybe have no clue about gender nuances. I am a motorcycling relict of the binary age.

When I first met my ex she wore female cut jeans male patterned shoes t-shirts (unisex?) and half her jackets were unisex too. She grabbed my over pants and over jacket, I borrowed her long black pullover, sometimes she occupied my leathers and I ended in her jeans (they didn't feel THAT strange). IMHO girlfriends who kind of fit into my pedestrian male business suits look cute and well, "like girl friends"?

I really don't care if the offcentered zip on your leather jacket is on the right or left side, if anything else on your impression hints AFAB. I'd grin about an AMAB in a left zipped jacket but hell who cares?

I've been told female patterned pants would fit snug without belt or suspenders onto a female body. - My ex needed suspenders with male patterned ones. - Leather weighs...

Buzz cutting or shaving your hair shouldn't get you anywhere either. - Its maybe unconventional but IMHO Sinead O'Connor used to look pretty good.

A lot might depend on your environment but at uni we were quite liberal and in the days of Rosie the Riveter gender expression at work looked limited to hairdos?

Wear whatever you consider right &/ comfy, be whoever you are and I guess you'll find acceptance. - The different facial expressions triggered by  living or  feeling squeezed into your role should have way bigger impact on how strong you'll attract others.

[Ennis]

You could give it a try. I changed my haircut and clothing style entirely and it makes me feel great. You, on the other hand, say you like feminine clothing - I wouldn't advice you to wear clothes that you don't like.

 

I don't know what people think about me - they never say anything. I suppose most of them just think I'm gay. Or a tomboy. Or both.

Even in my LGBT+ youth group, I have never been asked if I identify as trans based on my looks.

All people tell me is "Oh, I thought you were a boy for a second". I pass to some children and very old people - which will always make their relatives awkwardly hiss "she's a woman" (and me think: "no, I'm not").

 

Changing your clothing style will definitely effect the way people view you, I just can't tell exactly how.

[Homer]

I don't understand how "making a statement" and clothes are related to one another in the first place... exception: Work uniforms.

 

Maybe it does still work though, maybe there's some 'clothing dictionary' that I'm not aware of.

[chair jockey]

Well, I've come to the conclusion that cis types like me just don't understand gender because it's not an internal issue for us. For that reason I can't comment on expressing gender through clothes. But in terms of traditionally male clothes, don't female-bodied people wear those all the time even if they're cis? If I saw a woman in men's jeans and a checked red shirt I wouldn't interpret her as making a statement about her gender. If I assumed anything it would be that she was late doing laundry and grabbed some of her BF or husband's clothes so she'd have something to wear.

[Busrider]

@chair jockey nailed it!

TBH: The thread title made me think we'd discuss slogans & messages printed on t-shirts. - I like them when they aren't too offensive.

[Emery.]

Screw thread titles  Really, i'm no good at making those up. 

 

When it comes to buzzcuts, I'm afraid I'd look like a cancer survivor and even more feminine... When with medium hair someone occasionally mistakes me for a dude or says I have a tomboy haircut, or an edgy haircut... all of which are cool. 

 

(To be continued)

[Busrider]

@Homer

1 hour ago, Homer said:

I don't understand how "making a statement" and clothes are related to one another in the first place... exception: Work uniforms.

I think / hope my deliberately not ironed shirts shout "bachelor!"? Even people free to work in whatever they like can make a statement in whatever they choose to wear to work or maybe even more extremely by choosing to not change for commuting.

You can to some extent express origin, religion, wealth level / class membership, sub cultural roots and your level of social integration but I think @Emery.is lost.

[Groovy Teacakes]

I agree that a buzzcut will probably make you look more feminine (it did for me anyway).

If you don't mind being read as a butch lesbian then I'd say wearing guy clothes will probably help, but it depends how masculine you go because there are loads of cishet women who wear jeans and t-shirts all the time.

I changed how I dressed from very girly to almost the complete opposite and I find that people see me and treat me as a more masculine person now (although I think lots of people just assume I'm gay). I feel this particularly in places where there is a gender specific dress code, like playing in concerts.

 So yes, I think that changing your gender expression would work to an extent at getting people to treat you as less of a feminine person, although there will be people who are completely oblivious (like my friend who insisted on calling me pretty). I fancy that mannerisms and the way you move/sit might to do more for how masculine/feminine you are treated than the clothes you wear though. I don't think looking like you are wearing your boyfriend's clothes would be an issue for people at college who you see regularly, who's perceptions I assume are the ones you want to change, if you dress consistently masculine and if your clothes fit you (i.e. Aren't too big).

[Emery.]

Mhm. Certain clothes just make me look carelessly dressed, (especially the big and badly fitting ones) and yes women wear men's clothing all the time and jeans+tshirt are completely normal, and that's the main problem I have encountered so far with trying to find masculine clothes. The funny thing is that most guys dress in like... jeans and a tshirt and that's what like one third of women wear too. So it doesn't leave a masculine impression. And the point being, as a transmasculine person I have to dress more masculine than a man to get that notuced. Being consistent... yeah, that'd help too I guess. And I've seen those people in front of whom I could wear men's clothes, start a fight , brag how much I lift, and say that my favourite hobby is repairing cars and they would still go "oh such a cute feminine girl". That's... plain disturbing. So yes, I agree on all of those things. 

 

Lol, nominally I'm almost a butch lesbian so that kind of assumption wouldn't be that far from truth. I think I just lack the look, because I'm as masculine as you can get without being a clichee instead of a person. In terms of personality, interests, mannerisms and so forth. 

And mostly into girls... Sorry guys  You just don't nail it. 

 

Good to hear it worked for you @Groovy Teacakes and @Charlie Q.. 

 

with feminine clothes, I think of solving it like... most days I dress in zombie mode anyway and grab whatever, so replacing what's in the "whatever" with guy clothes can help. And I'd just buy and wear feminine clothes from time to time. 

 

15 hours ago, Busrider said:

he different facial expressions triggered by  living or  feeling squeezed into your role should have way bigger impact on how strong you'll attract others

That's true... lol.