I'm Confused

[Bomi]

I feel no sexual attraction towards any people that I've met in my life. I can admit and sometimes even admire when someone is attractive, but I don't have any urge to do something sexual with them and actually I find it kind of uncomfortable when my friends talk about sex (although that might just be because they'r sort of... explicit?) I have also found it pretty much impossible to masturbate, it does nothing for me. I still have a sex drive though, and it's really annoying because I have no way of relieving it. I don't know if I'm asexual or if I'm just uncomfortable with the idea of actually having sex?

I've had a few sexual fantasies but I was never a part of them. I don't actually have a lot of romantic attraction to people either, despite wanting to be in a relationship and wanting love. It's really frustrating and I don't know exactly what I am at this point so I'm blindly reaching out and seeking advice because I don't know how to deal with this?

[mxlky.way]

1 hour ago, Bomi said:

 

I feel no sexual attraction towards any people that I've met in my life. I can admit and sometimes even admire when someone is attractive, but I don't have any urge to do something sexual with them

 

I relate to this so hard it's not even funny, I may like people aesthetically but rarely feel a romantic connection and can't fathom having sex with them, I just don't feel that type attraction at all. From what I've read here being asexual doesn't mean no sex drive, just no attraction. 

 

1 hour ago, Bomi said:

. I don't actually have a lot of romantic attraction to people either, despite wanting to be in a relationship and wanting love

OMG SAME ahahha I know I feel this for a fact but it's so rare for me and it takes a long time and I have to REALLY know the person, all of my crushes (I say all but really it's like 3) have been very close friends

 

I'm 17 and I don't know what I am and how to represent myself, I came here because I had heard about asexuality and it seemed to really fit me, after reading a lot especially in forums and talking to people with similar experiences to mine it's really helped me to understand that I'm not as alone as I think I am and what I'm feeling is valid. I'm not 100% confident in myself yet but I'm getting there and you will too! Feel free to message me if you like, we have a lot in common  

[SamwiseLovesLife]

I totally get this. Sounds to me like you're Asexual, though not being able to masterbate properly must be frustrating for your sex drive, It really can't be helped.

I relate to the way you feel about love, I have hardly ever felt romantic attraction beyond Squishes (platonic attraction). All I think is either I'll find a romantic partner or I won't, the most important thing is I don't spend my life 'waiting' for love; I love myself I love and am loved by my family,friends and even some co-workers. It's all fulfilling without needing to be qualified with romance and/or romantic feeling.

Good luck x

[SithAzathoth WinterDragon]

Welcome to AVEN I myself have never had sex and never masturbates and I'm in my late 20's anything to do with being sexual in anyway sickens me to even think of it. It seems that you might be sex repulsed,and asexual. You'll find many here who relate to you in this area, feel free to look through our forums and ask more questions when you have more. I hope you find answers that you're looking for, and I hope you enjoy it here as well. 

[dragon_nerd]

Welcome to AVEN! Trust me, when you first start figuring everything out it's a big wibaly wobbly ball of mess and confusion, or at least that's how it was for me.

3 hours ago, Bomi said:

I don't know if I'm asexual or if I'm just uncomfortable with the idea of actually having sex?

You can be both I know I am, the 2 aren't mutually exclusive.

 

3 hours ago, Bomi said:

I don't actually have a lot of romantic attraction to people either, despite wanting to be in a relationship and wanting love.

This sounds like being on the aromantic spectrum, look around and find what feels the best for you. My romantic orientation took ages to figure out as I struggled to differentiate it from everything else. Also grey area orientations have significantly lower representation than being strait up aromatic or completely romantic. 

 

3 hours ago, Bomi said:

I have also found it pretty much impossible to masturbate, it does nothing for me. I still have a sex drive though, and it's really annoying because I have no way of relieving it.

^This is frustrating. I loath my libido and my inability to masturbate for more than 5mins and that was pushing it. There isn't really anything you can do about this though, not that I've found at least.  

 

I hope you figure everything out and enjoy AVEN.