LittleGoody2Shoes Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I'm tired of people thinking it's ok to hug or touch me and I don't always have the assertiveness to tell them no. I need some ideas of what other people who don't like to be touched tell others who do it unsolicited and how do you deal with it? Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I usually just kind of hope my natural body language will give them a clue. At the same time I always try to restrain my body language so they won't think I'm weird. Every time I flat out ask someone not to touch me it's followed up with a round of questioning and sometimes more touching. For this reason I just sort of stay away from people being newly introduced to my friend group until eventually they understand. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGoody2Shoes Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, Galactic Turtle said: I usually just kind of hope my natural body language will give them a clue. At the same time I always try to restrain my body language so they won't think I'm weird. Every time I flat out ask someone not to touch me it's followed up with a round of questioning and sometimes more touching. For this reason I just sort of stay away from people being newly introduced to my friend group until eventually they understand. Shout it in their face if you have to. The only people I know that understand body language are people with psychology degrees or training. Link to post Share on other sites
Galactic Turtle Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Just now, SunflowerPlanet said: Shout it in their face if you have to. The only people I know that understand body language are people with psychology degrees or training. I don't think I've ever shouted in my entire life. XD I don't think my voice can get loud enough to be a shout. Link to post Share on other sites
.lannah. Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I tell them I'm sick haha, whether it's a flu or something viral. Works like a charm (; Although, I use it so often with certain people it doesn't work anymore ): Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Jade Cross Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Usually I back off slightly enough so that people's touch doesnt reach. Its a bit of a second nature by now sometimes since I hated people touching me (family included) ever since I was a kid. Sadly in things like interviews, mettimgs and such, Im practically obligated to at least handshake as to not appear smug. I guess this is also why the women look at me strangely when I just extend my hand and have distance between me and them. It looks forced (since it is). I would prefer not to have any human contant with either men or women. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGoody2Shoes Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 Sometimes I just want to snap someone's fingers off. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleGoody2Shoes Posted March 25, 2017 Author Share Posted March 25, 2017 2 minutes ago, Jade Cross said: Usually I back off slightly enough so that people's touch doesnt reach. Its a bit of a second nature by now sometimes since I hated people touching me (family included) ever since I was a kid. Sadly in things like interviews, mettimgs and such, Im practically obligated to at least handshake as to not appear smug. I don't mind handshakes as much because they're not that personal. Link to post Share on other sites
Anthracite_Impreza Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Flinch, make yourself look feeble. Link to post Share on other sites
Xenobot Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Letting people know that I am not "touchy-feely" has generally worked for me. Pulling away from their touch gets the message across well too. I don't trust people who disrespect people's boundaries with physical contact. Link to post Share on other sites
Sherlocks Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 1 hour ago, SunflowerPlanet said: I'm tired of people thinking it's ok to hug or touch me and I don't always have the assertiveness to tell them no. I need some ideas of what other people who don't like to be touched tell others who do it unsolicited and how do you deal with it? Give them the face Jenna Marble made up!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Podsnap Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 1 hour ago, .lannah. said: I tell them I'm sick haha, whether it's a flu or something viral. Works like a charm (; Although, I use it so often with certain people it doesn't work anymore ): Me too. I say I have a sore throat. Link to post Share on other sites
Spades96 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 1 hour ago, Jade Cross said: Usually I back off slightly enough so that people's touch doesnt reach. Its a bit of a second nature by now sometimes since I hated people touching me (family included) ever since I was a kid. I do the same and I tend to cross my arms over my chest. Sadly, my extended family hugs me and kisses my cheek every time I see them. Over the years I have learned how to detach myself from the feeling I get. I can somewhat relax myself when I know that I am going to be touched. Mostly with family. Link to post Share on other sites
AW10 Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I am in different situation, I love human touch, but due to some sensory issues, my body does not respond well to touches, but I usually try to improve myself, including my ability of handling sensory experiences. However, I can still give you some advice from second-hand experience. A person I know does not like to be touched and he made that very clear to his close friends, yet they still think that he has love for human touch that is yet to be awakened. If his close friends are unable to accept his dislike of touching, what do you expect from general people? Tell people you do not like human touch in as serious and polite way as possible and move on; that is the most you can do, since people cannot really understand dislike of human touch, and even less able to understand sensory issues that interferes with human touch. Link to post Share on other sites
NerotheReaper Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 Well I mean I only like it if I give approval or am very comfortable with the person, I don't like being touched really. There is a long story, but I do like hugs and being cuddled. Only certain people can hug/touch me. Most people I am like "if you touch me, I will punch your lights out." Most people know not to touch me or those who do have the honor to hug/cuddle me don't surprise hug me, they usually let me go in for it. For new comers I kind of flinch or somehow physically react to them touching me. Link to post Share on other sites
dayagime Posted March 25, 2017 Share Posted March 25, 2017 I would like to say that telling people not to touch you would work, but only a few out there seem to accept our dislike or at least try not to touch us. Not that many people try hug me but it's interesting that even when they know i will not hug them back, they still do it. The last person i actually hugged back was in 2014 and i still feel "guilty" of doing it as an obrigation since i was meeting that person for the first time in real life and didn't want to disappoint them so quickly. Handshakes are nice. Link to post Share on other sites
Laplace Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I don't dislike close contact but it's awkward for me most of the time unless it's someone I know really well. I don't tend to hug people readily and even kissing someone platonically is impossible for me. I'm not a very expressive person most of the time. Though, my kinda inadvertently aloof body language and stance marks me as someone who's not very cuddly to begin with. Link to post Share on other sites
DesiButters519x Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I have to know someone really well or love them enough to be comfortable with their touch. I tried so much to be more out there, but it just isn't in me to be comfortable with it. I'd say just let them know that it's not them, you're just simply that way. If they don't understand then that means they are not worth your time. Link to post Share on other sites
PHOENIX97 Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I hate when people touch me. I mean whenever my mom touches me which she knows I hate. She still does it and it drives me insane and pisses me off. Now if people want to cuddle then fine whatever. But if I'm by myself lying down don't touch my feet or rub me. It drives me insane because even after they stopped I still like my skin is crawling. Makes me want to scream. Link to post Share on other sites
Nebulous Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 Sounds like it may be a respect issue. People should have the decency to respect that you dislike being touched - for whatever reason, and whether or not they understand said reason. If someone oversteps my boundaries in such a way, I firmly assert what my expectations are in terms of contact, and if that doesn't work, I don't go near them again. Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 I find that hugging people is really awkward, but sometimes people will take it as an insult or think you're standoffish if you don't wish to do so. That can be frustrating. If it's someone I don't know that well, I might go along with it because it's easier than trying to explain and risking a negative reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Zakiya Posted April 1, 2017 Share Posted April 1, 2017 I dont like to be touched at all and people who know mw understand that If I dont initiate it then dont do it. Now for the people that dont know me I try to tell them as politely as I can that I don't like to be hugged. Yea It always leads to people be offended and asking questions like. You must have had something happen to you or do you not like people. If I like you can you are the type that really likes hugs then sometimes I just hug them here and there if its what they need. If others cant respect my boundries then I want tolerate it. I know its hard to speak your mind sometime but people will never know unless you tell them firmly. Link to post Share on other sites
OverwhelmedA Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 All the people close to me know that I'm touch-averse, and they respect that. Some kids found it somehow funny, that I was openly uncomfortable with touch, and tried to 'help me get used to it' by putting their arms around me from behind or just poking, stroking, or grabbing in general, but my friends defended me. I have good friends. If it's a stranger I consciously try to keep a neutral distance from them at all times, and when they initiate contact most of the time I endure it. I can't hide signs of discomfort, though, and most people back off naturally. If they don't take the hint I tell them explicitly. Link to post Share on other sites
tags Posted April 7, 2017 Share Posted April 7, 2017 I tell people who want to hug me that I don't like hugs. sometimes I give them a high five or first bump instead Link to post Share on other sites
JohnTheHuman Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 I have little against physical "human touch", embracing, hugging or holding hand are fine as long as it is appropriate to do so, handshakes are normal, arm-length etiquette. Of course, I would feel uncomfortable if these comes from strangers or people I barely know. It is other kind of "human touch"- ie.. gestures, expressions and touchy-feely kind of conversations that irk me the most. Pesky salespeople, with their probing questions and their perma-semi-smiles, are a pain to me. Charity volunteers make me uncomfortable trying to appeal to my "heart" (I am not heartless, cold, or against charitableness for that matter, but prefer giving in discreet manner). HR department seems to be waste of money intruding people's lives with survey and shindigs... That is to name a few. Sometimes I just want to say "Bugger off, pesky human" - but that would surely attract an even uglier reaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Cognition! Posted April 8, 2017 Share Posted April 8, 2017 "Do we have to...hug...can't we just..." *awkward fist bump/high five* And hand shaking. Who thought hand shaking was a good idea?! Link to post Share on other sites
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