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hello from down under


simplystella

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simplystella

 

Hi from Australia!

 

I am a 15 yr old asexual girl :) I only really looked into ace this year when I finally decided to start looking at sexualities. I had been so scared to put a label to myself because I wasn't sure what it would mean for my life. I always had issues with telling people i loved them or having people touch me. I also found more and more that I didn't agree with the description of 'hot' my friends gave when talking about celebrities and boys and girls. I just found that I didn't really get it? I assumed that that was how everyone felt, boy was I wrong. 

 

On Sunday I came out as asexual to my best friends and so far so good. They were all very supportive (we are a pretty diverse group, I'm the third to be part of the LGBT+ community so far) and congratulated and thanked me. I have a bi friend who has been so supportive and when I first mentioned it she went home and researched and then let me know that I ever needed to talk she would be there, best friend ever. However there is one girl who hasn't said anything to me since Sunday so I am a little worried about that, but baby steps right? It's only been two days. 

 

Despite having a horrible cold right now and being stressed over school I am so happy :) I understand myself now and actually think my sexuality is really cool. My bi friend told me about this website and encouraged me to come say hi so here i am. 

 

thanks for reading, 

Stella :)

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Welcome!

And thanks for sharing your story.
 It's great to hear that people around you have been supportive. Being open about asexuality is not always easy. 

AVEN is a great place to learn more about asexuality, to meet people with similar experiences and shared interests, and also to just have fun. Best of luck going forward, and I hope you enjoy the site.

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NerotheReaper

Welcome to AVEN!

 

It is an amazing feeling when you figure your sexuality out after being confused for so long. Hope you enjoy the site and hope you also make some friends (the people are pretty awesome). 

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake: Thank you for joining and introducing yourself!! : ) That's great most of your friends have been supportive. I hope your other friend gets back to you, too. But you're right...baby steps!! It's not easy to come out to people. I'm glad you found your way here. Take your time exploring! I hope you feel better soon, too, and that you enjoy being a member!

 

Image result for layer cake

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Hi! :) That's so nice to hear!! I'm glad you're friends are supporting you - and as for the other one, maybe she'll get back to you soon too... But you're right, it's only been a couple of days after all! :)

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simplystella

@miereaie hopefully :) still nothing yet but i think part of it may be due to the fact that I was kind of like 'hey I'm ace' and then explained why I was, i probably should have explained what being asexual was. 

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12 hours ago, simplystella said:

@miereaie hopefully :) still nothing yet but i think part of it may be due to the fact that I was kind of like 'hey I'm ace' and then explained why I was, i probably should have explained what being asexual was. 

You never know, maybe she's using all of this time to look it up herself?... :) Regardless, fingers crossed! And it's great that you have all of your other friends supporting you in the meantime :D

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simplystella

I hadn't actually thought of that! :D yeah i'm pretty darn lucky to have such an awesome group of friends. Thanks for the support!@miereaie

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1 hour ago, simplystella said:

I hadn't actually thought of that! :D yeah i'm pretty darn lucky to have such an awesome group of friends. Thanks for the support!@miereaie

No worries! :D It's so good to have supportive people around you! I came out to a few of my close friends and one of them straight up told me he doesn't believe asexuality exists... It's frustrating and hurtful, but at the same time as long as I have good friends who DO support me, it's easier to deal with that one who keeps being rude about it! So basically, my point is that I think sticking together is so important haha!

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simplystella

@miereaie that sucks :( I hope your other friends were more supportive! I'm lucky enough to have not dealt with anyone like that yet 😬 But I know that it's sort of inevitable, its one of the reasons that I haven't told my parents yet because I know that they wouldn't understand. I definetly agree, keeping the people around who support you no matter who you are is the most important thing! 

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@simplystella Yeah the others have been more supportive, which helps me deal with the unsupportive one a bit better haha! I haven't told my mam yet either, partly because I came out as bisexual (ish) previously when I was still trying to figure out what being asexual meant, so now I feel like she won't believe me if I say I'm asexual now... Oh well :') I want to get there some day! Until then, I've got my friends and AVEN too, so it's all good :) 

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simplystella

@miereaie that's good :) I hope everything works out well for you! I feel like in some ways it's more difficult to come out to parents but maybe that's just me personally. 

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Hiii! Wow you're really lucky to have supportive friends, I'm pretty sure mine would just gossip behind my back. I totally get not telling parents though, I know mine would react really badly 

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simplystella

@mxlky.way Helloooo! Yeah I really am, my friends are seriously the best people in my life. Ugh gossip is the worst thing :( my friends love gossip and drama but just not about each other (at least i hope haha). I don't think i'll ever be comfortable coming out to my parents, but for now its not really an issue i guess. But I keep making these silly jokes and puns like 'I aced it' and i can't share with them why i laugh so much. I know my dad is leaning on homophobic and he wouldn't accept it and my mums pretends to be fine with it but I can tell she isn't. I think its just more difficult for people to understand something they have never heard of. 

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@simplystella Exactly, I think if more people knew about asexuality and it was more normalised then everyone would be okay with it. I've only really hinted to one friend who was super supportive but I'm just paranoid about the others and just a group of girls at my school who actively dislike my friend group. They hold really traditional values so this would be perfect gossip material. Ahahaha I'm going to try and through in some puns and see who gets it, might be a way to slowly introduce the subject to my friends 

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simplystella

@mxlky.way

Ah I see what you mean. My school isn't overly traditional and have a diversity day once a year and everything but there is definetly still some stigma surrounding the LGBTQIA community. I don't think I would ever be publicly out to my whole year or anything, I don't think many people would in high school to be honest. If some of the girls in my year found out about this I would be ridiculed because generally when people like that don't understand something they make fun of it in some way or another. I feel like that would be so funny if you just kept making ace puns and no one else would get it and then if/when you come out to your friends their realisation when they put two and two together would be absolute gold :lol: The first person I hinted to about asexuality was so supportive it was crazy, she went home and researched and let me know that she was there if I needed to talk and even brought up the topic of joining an ace community to help understand myself. It's good that you have at least one person who is supportive :) 

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10 hours ago, simplystella said:

The first person I hinted to about asexuality was so supportive it was crazy, she went home and researched and let me know that she was there if I needed to talk and even brought up the topic of joining an ace community to help understand myself. It's good that you have at least one person who is supportive

This is exactly what my friend did too! I knew she would react supportively which is why I told her. Honestly what I'm really afraid of is my friends being supportive to my face and then maybe talking behind my back :/ 

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simplystella

That's exactly how I feel, sometimes if I bring it up in conversation I get some weird looks from my friends and it scares the heck out of me. I often leave lunch early to get to class but I've stopped doing it because I feel like if I do they'll just start talking about something that I've said. So while everyone was pretty supportive I only talk about it with 3 of my close friends :( 

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