I'm Higgy! Nice to Meet Cha!

5 posts in this topic

Hi all,


I'm a 24 year old female and I've known about asexuality for a while, I was lucky enough to be apart of a diverse group of people in high school, however I've only really used the term asexual over the last year or so for myself.


I know other's have said they've been relieved about finding out they're not broken, and I'm so happy for them to have that burden off their shoulders, I've thankfully never felt that way about myself and my sexuality I knew I wasn't broken but I was frustrated in a culture obsessed with labels and not having one I felt was true to myself. Spending sometime reading about asexuality helped me give definition to how I felt.


The hardest thing I'm dealing with is my family and friends not understanding nor taking the time to really understand what I try to tell them when they constantly make comments about why I don't date etc. I'm so sick of the comments I get when I say I'm not interested in sex "You will when you find the right person" or when I talk about having kids (god I want a little hoard of them but I've only ever pictured doing it by myself) "But don't you want someone to do that with?". Not really, if I find someone who loves me for me (and doesn't mind if we never have sex) and I love them great but my life and my choices do not revolve around potentially finding another person, I have the hardest time with my friends over that, thankfully my parents don't care if I have a partner or not when I want children (they'd just be happy to have grandkids lol) but sometimes it still upsets me.


I'm struggling to live in a world where your decisions are judged and picked apart by even those you love and how do I try to balance what I feel and what my family/friend think I need to feel.


I know I'm loved but god sometimes I want to tie 'em to a chair and smack some sense into them!


I look forward to being apart of this community and hopefully finding some of the answers I'm looking for.


xoxo Higgy

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Hey, welcome to the website!


I can relate to the whole "struggling to find a label that fits" thing and it's great that you've found a label you feel comfortable using. Society's obsession with sex sucks, but I hope that we as a community can help people to understand that it doesn't matter whether you are sexually or romantically attracted to people or neither. 


If you have any particular questions you want answered, feel free to post them in the 'Questions about Asexuality' section. I hope you enjoy your time here!

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Welcome to AVEN! :cake: Thank you for joining and sharing your story with us!! I'm glad you found your way here. It's an awesome place to explore and ask questions and learn...and also find a ton of supportive people that can relate. : ) I know I can relate to so much of what you said!! It's not easy to deal with those questions and comments when you try to explain being ace...those remarks are pretty frequent. I'm quite tired of them, too. Life doesn't have to revolve around finding a partner! Anyway, take your time looking around the site, and I hope you enjoy being a member!


Image result for best cake

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Hello there, and welcome to AVEN! Others have wondered how to deal with those comments too. I always suggest just showing them and saying how happy you are as is and isn't that what's important? :cake:

As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. :) The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message.  Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. 

The following are also nifty links to take a look at:  Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's

 Again, welcome to AVEN and I hope your stay is everything you hoped!

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