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New member introduction and not sure what to ask


noodles12

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Hello I just joined here and to start I am quite peculiar in the kind of person I am. Let's start this out:

 

I am a female but I am more of a butch. I prefer to do masculine things (even though I am only 5'1) and I buy almost all of my clothes in the men's department. But the term Butch seems to be more towards lesbians. The interesting part is I am straight butch and have fantasies about being a male and penetrating other men or fantasizing "pegging" them. I once had fantasies about having a "girlfriend" but the girlfriend is an androgynous male and not a female. I become the man while the boy has a female role. I guess you could call this a Gynemimetophilia or something similar. I don't have plans to change to become a male nor do I have any desires or any interests in relationships at all. I am perfectly fine about going decades of never having an interest in going into a relationship because I simply don't care and I am content with myself. I am not sure what I would consider myself but I am quite curious. I wonder if there is such a thing as being straight and butch. Is anyone similar and have this kind of characteristic?

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Thank You. I also forgot to note that I am new to the term asexuality and other gender related terms so excuse me if I happen to use a certain term the wrong way or something.

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Well, the basic term for someone whose gender expression is different from their birth sex would just be gender nonconforming, but as for more specific terminology used within the community, you might want to look into nonbinary, transmasculine, and tomboy to see if any of those feel right to you. Nonbinary is just someone who feels like they're between the binary genders or outside of the binary altogether (agender), and transmasculine people identify with masculinity while not specifically identifying as a man like a trans man would. Transmasculine people may also consider themselves to be nonbinary. Tomboys classically refer to young girls who act like boys, but actually, tomboy can refer to an older woman as well.

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That makes sense. I mean I would rather be male but at the same time the things that I like to fantasize about, I am not interested in performing them in real life. One example is "pegging". In case people are not familiar with the term, it is when a woman performs anal sex on a man with a strap-on dildo. I am not interested in performing the actions on a real male but would rather do it on a male doll or an object and let my imagination run wild. 

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It's common to have sexual fantasies about things you don't want to do in real life. Even some asexual people have sexual fantasies, but obviously, they don't want to act on them with a partner. If you would prefer to be a man, why have you chosen not to transition? It's your choice, of course. I'm just curious.

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I don't want to transition to a male because the process is too much of an ordeal for me and when I picture myself as a man, i have a particular look. I picture myself as looking like what gay culture would call a "bear": Tall, hairy, and muscular.  I know I will never receive that look in real life. It's okay.

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Fair enough, I suppose. Ultimately, you need to do what you can live with or can't live without. There's no right or wrong way to go about how you handle things related to your gender. It's totally up to you.

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Another reason is that if I become a man, things might be more difficult for me because I will still be into males and that will mean transitioning to go from straight female to gay male. There are a lot of gender related terms out there. I even found another one, Demiguy, that could fit well. 

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11 hours ago, noodles12 said:

Another reason is that if I become a man, things might be more difficult for me because I will still be into males and that will mean transitioning to go from straight female to gay male. There are a lot of gender related terms out there. I even found another one, Demiguy, that could fit well. 

There's plenty of trans men that are gay..

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