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What is the Origin of our sexuality?


Dudette

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First of all, when I talk about sexuality

Sexuality means to me libido, fantasies, porno, erotica, sex, crushes, romantic/platonic love, etc.

 

1)Is it possible for the environment to influence our sexuality?

2)Is our sexuality placed in our subconscious? or is it place in between the subconscious and consciousness?

 

I want to show you a good example of myself, and other people who I know, However, please do not question my sexuality (This question is not about that, the question is more about critique of sexuality)

 

1) I have observed that people tend to reflect their sexuality based on the family they come from. People tend to try to find a person who reminds them of home (mother or father) or what was missing in their family such as father or mother.

me:- my family lived in this platonic/asexual relationship. my mother and father are together (never divorced), but they live separately (the jobs forced them to do it), sometimes I think this had an influence (main or minor) of how I would see a happy marriage or relationship with a partner.

friends A:- I have observed that friends who had no father when growing up, they would try to date a lot older person than they are.

friends B:- I have met this one guy (he is bi), who was dating this one girl, after she broke up with him, he said that he is gay, and started dating guys.

(I think there are more examples, but now I forgot them)

However, there is the part of my observation that sexuality can be somewhat influenced by mentally disorders (anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, etc.), typical cold which we get every year :o (I mean I talked to a person who feels "asexual" when he is very sick). Also different drugs can influence person's sexuality (even medical drugs).

 

 

2) I have been reading and talking a lot about LGBTAH (I am including heteros and asexuals) sexuality, and I have observed that libido, fantasies, porno, erotica, sex, crushes, romantic/platonic love are independent form each other. Also I have noticed that for example sexual orientation such as "gay" is not straight forward because this person can have no sexual-attraction to the opposite gender, but he can watch lesbian porn, erotica and even have fantasies. Even though I try to justify that sexual attraction or sexual desire is the key to understanding the origin of sexuality.

I meet this person who breaks all the system because he/she says that never had sexual attraction or sexual desire (two of them are my good friends), but would never classify her/himself as asexual (or any spectrum of it).

 

Therefore, I started to think that sexuality is not truly subconscious (libido, fantasies, porno, erotica, sex, crushes, romantic/platonic love), but it is both subconscious and consciousness (how we understand them and how we imagine the happy life or lifes). and consciousness can be influenced by the environment (temporary or permanent,  minor or major).

 

 

What do you think about this? Do you agree disagree?

 

Please don't hate me for this topic, but this is just what I have observed when talking and reading LGBTAH :( 

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LittleGoody2Shoes

I'm not sure how it is influenced, but I like that you take into account so many things such as libido, fantasies, experience and crushes,etc. I would love to learn if these environmental factors and medications do influence sexuality.

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Lord Jade Cross

I know theres a theory that states that your romantic partner will be picked based on how familiar he/she seems to home. Though I dont think I heard orientation coming from the same criteria.

 

That beimg said, it woud be impossible to say that one specific trait can determine orientation as we tend to absorb anything we come in contact with, directly or indirectly; and sometimes, the most unforseeable or forgettable experience tend to be the ones that shape things.

 

Still, science has to comsider all factors present. And if the case should be that our parents create a substantial impact on us annd orientations, I suppose, you could say that part of what turns me away from people is due to my parents and their constant fighting while growing up (and pretty much still) and their level of incompetence.

 

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But there is the second issue when it comes to the "origin of our sexuality". According to the philosopher "Freud Sigmund" subconscious is sexual  "to dream about your mother sexuality is normal" (This quote is from a philosophical book which I read, and it is not 100% accurate but the idea is), by my understanding then

libido and subconscious sexual fantasies (in dreams, but also in waking life, for example getting aroused by this or that) would have to be in the subconscious then what does it make us to say I am not sexually attracted or have no sexual desire to this person or that person? the conscious?

 

Then the question which rises is, "is sexuality something we like and we are aware of it, such as what partner we like, what gender we like, etc." or "is sexuality something we are not aware of it something which is beyond our comprehension" or is it both?

 

I think it is both because subconscious is not supposed to be fully understood (because we can not be fully aware of it since is it sub, and because of this subconscious can be subjective to each person, when trying to understand yours or someone's subconscious), but also conscious plays the second part because it is the part of our brain which is able to reason, and explain logically what we like, what we desire.

 

Do you agree or disagree?

 

 

2 hours ago, Karl said:

I'm not sure how it is influenced, but I like that you take into account so many things such as libido, fantasies, experience and crushes,etc. I would love to learn if these environmental factors and medications do influence sexuality.

 

From my experience, medication do influence sexuality, especially libido. I was taking this medication which decreased my libido to practically 0, and I didn't have any sexual fantasies (at least in my case libido influences my sexual fantasies). but also I took also meds which increased both libido and sexual fantasies.

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LittleGoody2Shoes

I've been on psychiatric medicine all my life and my sexuality has changed over the years. My gender identity changed too.

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1 hour ago, Karl said:

I've been on psychiatric medicine all my life and my sexuality has changed over the years. My gender identity changed too.

I can sympathize with it , but not fully :(

I have SAD, so I take medication during the winter. but I was never able to get 100% different sexuality (like I said it influenced my libido).

I used to think (I mean people told me this on some LGBTAH forums), that maybe I have anxiety disorder which makes me asexual but then It didn't change the fact that I would prefer this platonic relationship, and it didn't help me to have sexual desire or attraction :/

 

Also, I have noticed that some people can change sexuality (not really change, but have an illusion of being someone else like taste,sexuality,personality,gender,etc.) on a psychoactive drugs. Some of these some people dislike it, but I always found it hella fun to eat apple with ketchup or to think I am transcendence-sexual. :P 

 

But then I have read on Wikipedia and some other lgbtah sites which said that sexuality does change over the years (for example going through puberty, some bisexuals change their gender preferences over the years, hetero/homosexuals change their taste for different people, its not about your case, I am just giving some examples)

 

 

Please break my understanding of sexuality and gender. hopefully, I will learn something new. (but no more than 3 paragraphs, I am dyslectic :P )

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  • 3 months later...
IntellectualAsexual

I think the origin of sexuality was about 1 billion years ago. Before that they were all asexual.

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  • 5 weeks later...
Apathetic Echidna
On 19/03/2017 at 6:02 AM, Dudette said:

1)Is it possible for the environment to influence our sexuality?

 

friends B:- I have met this one guy (he is bi), who was dating this one girl, after she broke up with him, he said that he is gay, and started dating guys.

 

However, there is the part of my observation that sexuality can be somewhat influenced by mentally disorders (anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, etc.), typical cold which we get every year :o (I mean I talked to a person who feels "asexual" when he is very sick). Also different drugs can influence person's sexuality (even medical drugs).

 

I meet this person who breaks all the system because he/she says that never had sexual attraction or sexual desire (two of them are my good friends), but would never classify her/himself as asexual (or any spectrum of it).

Here is my offering to try breaking your understanding:

I pulled out these quotes in particular because I feel there should be a separation between sexuality and identified sexuality.

Humans are not omnipotent and fully self-aware from birth, we have to learn and explore ourselves in whatever environment we find ourselves in. Our sexuality is something we have to get to know, it will be easier for some than others. It is very possible that discovering a previously unknown aspect of your sexuality while interacting with others/environment can augment your personal perception of what your sexuality is. It would also make sense that aspects of your sexuality can be suppressed by environmental/mental factors. 

 

Your example of 'Friend B' and the system breaker focus on what they say they are, that would be their identified sexuality. Choosing to label yourself or not is, and whatever that label is has more to do with your identity construct rather than your sexuality. People may choose to label themselves in alignment with their sexuality to find understanding and community, or they might chose to identify themselves as only part of their sexuality to construct a public identity they feel more comfortable with. Many of my bi friends chose to 'pick a side' when identifying themselves, for various reasons including bad break ups, fear of homophobia/biphobia, or to make themselves more appealing/accessible to someone they desired.

Choosing to not identify yourself can be very powerful as it forces people to get to know you on your own terms without clouding their perceptions with assumptions tied to sexuality terms. I chose not to come out or publicly identify myself with a label simply because I didn't think it was an important part of my personal identity, I am me not my sexuality. It is still true, but now I am seeking labels for myself to add to my identity and find a community (and also so I can be condescendingly knowledgeable next time my doctor talks about birth control and sexual relations being 'healthy'). Was this reply too long?   

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IntellectualAsexual

1)Is it possible for the environment to influence our sexuality?

                       I think it's possible. People usually conform to social norms. Throughout history people usually conformed to whatever was considered desirable at that time. Like in                    some societies they could like really large people because it shows they eat well or something like that. In other societies skinniness could be desirable. Some societies                         like elongated necks (in Africa), others like small feet (like in China), some like dark eyes, others blue eyes. It just depends on the race and what is culturally normal.

2)Is our sexuality placed in our subconscious? or is it place in between the subconscious and consciousness?

                      I think that sex was to evolve. Before they were asexual, but sex means the organisms can transmit their DNA from one to the other. When asexuals reproduce, its a                           complete set of DNA, but with sexuals, its half and half. So sexuals can evolve more quickly. I wonder if that is why the Cambrian explosion occurred, since sex was                               invented, and then organisms could evolve really fast in comparison with the billions of years previously where the organisms just replicated themselves, and had                               mutations every now and then. I think that organisms can be both conscious of it and unconscious at the same time. Humans can decide based on trends and their                             own individual preferences according to upbringing like you say.

 

As a bisexual, what do you believe the purpose of homosexuality and/or bisexuality is, since you cannot beget offspring then? It seems to me that heterosexual guys tend to like lesbians and heterosexual females like gay men. What would be the purpose of this? And what is the purpose of things like masturbation, since you cannot breed that way? Why do people even get 'aroused' at all? There must be some scientific reason for it? 

 

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