Is it possible?

[OhioBoy]

My ex-girlfriend and I had a great relationship but it ended badly after about two and a half years. For the first six months we were very sexually active and she seemed to enjoy it. The two years following that were very sexually frustrating for me. We ended up having sex maybe once every 2-3 months. This was again after 2-3 times a week for the first 6 months.

I was not very understanding to the problem and reacted very angrily after being rejected time after time. She would get furious with me and would say "Is sex all you think about", or that "It's not a big deal." I don't think she cheated on me so I dont think she was doing anything outside of the relationship. I dont think she masturbated much either, if at all.

Is it possible to become asexual when you are 25? I know she had some issues with a boyfriend before me who cheated on her with one of her friends. I know she had a pretty bad relationship with her father. Any thoughts?

[crazyjerseygirl]

Hmm,

I dont seem to see many people becoming asexuals per se,

but others have discovered themselves after having sex so it could be possible.

Judging her sexuality from the story you have given me is hard, was there anything that happened to make the sudden change? did she seem uninterested in sex at all times? was she stressed or worried about anything? There are a-lot of things that can cause a sexual person to loose interest in sex.

Sorry for the convoluted answer, but sexuality is rarely in black and white. If you have already broken up, the best thing to do is to forgive and move on and dont dwell on the past. If you are still together introduce her to aven, that would be the only real way to know.

TTFN

Renee'

[sonofzeal]

It sounds to me less like she's asexual, and more like she just isn't as into it as you are. But like crazyjerseygirl said, it's possible she was asexual all along, and only had sex at the beginning to make you happy, or because she felt like she was supposed to. A lot of sexual girls don't like being treated as objects though, and limit their sexual activity for that reason sometimes.

[KAGU143]

I sometimes think that asexuals agree to have sex because they think that it will lead to greater intimacy with their loved ones.

What happens instead is that the sexual partner mistakenly thinks that sex IS intimacy so they quit doing the other things that originally meant so much to the asexual partner, like cuddling for its own sake, sharing intimate thoughts and feelings, doing things together, etc.

Once the asexual realizes that sex leads to LESS intimacy in a relationship, it becomes harder and harder to tolerate it.

-Greybird

[Desert_Rose]

It is possible she is a sexual, and just has a loss of sexual hormones due to other things going on in her life? That can happen.

Or she is an asexual, and before didnt realize it/or admit to it, but is now "comming out of the closet" so to speak? That could happen too.

I dont know if one just "becomes" asexual though.

[Fel]

I think what others have said makes a lot of sense, Greybird especially. There was either something else going on that made her lose interest, or she never really had interest. Could she have just become asexual all of a sudden? Sure, I don't see why not, but I think it's less common. People's sexual orientations do change sometimes, and sometimes their sexual orientations are just extremely complicated. That's why there's a whole triangle of sexuality. I would seriously talk to her about if she appears willing, not from the standpoint of "oh there's something wrong with you" but "do you have any explanations for this loss of sexual interest?" Bring in asexuality, too.

Just remember that there's nothing wrong with losing sexual interest unless there really is some psychological problem or block. Never offend her or approach it from the standpoint of being broken or out-of-touch with reality.

[sonofzeal]

Just remember that there's nothing wrong with losing sexual interest unless there really is some psychological problem or block. Never offend her or approach it from the standpoint of being broken or out-of-touch with reality.

There can be physiological problems that cause a sudden loss of sex drive too. It's possible that something in her system might be screwing with her body chemistry.

[Fel]

Right...that, too! Thanks.