Rainbow100 Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Hi there, I have just come across this community and am so relieved, I can't quite put it into words. I am in recovery from drug and alcohol addiction and an eating disorder, have been sober for a couple of years now. I was wondering if anyone else has a similar background? I notice that quite a few meet up venues are in bars etc and I would find this tricky as the urge to drink is still there, especially when meeting people for the first time. It's manageable though as it's so important that I get to some of these meet ups, but just wanting to see if there's anyone on here who is in a similar position so that we can maybe share experiences. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow100 Posted March 18, 2017 Author Share Posted March 18, 2017 Just to add to my last post: Because I am 'an addict', I have been told that I am sexually anorexic, not asexual and after discovering this community I feel really angry about that as I have felt for a long time that there is something very wrong with me! Link to post Share on other sites
Pramana Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 I can imagine that this situation must be difficult. Good luck going forward! Link to post Share on other sites
Muledeer Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 I have been free from my addiction(s) since June 3, 2011. I also wondered if that experience contributed to my asexuality, but after discovering this site, I have accepted asexuality as an orientation that has basically remained unchanged throughout my life. I am also active on another forum that helps people quit the drug I used, actually I am an administrator on that site. There really isn't much crossover between the two subjects of addiction recovery and asexuality so it was refreshing to read your post. I have just been posting over on the other site helping people quit. These are the only two forums I participate on. I really like coming here because it is more of a social network where one can address the topic of asexuality as much or as little as they like. I don't really feel comfortable discussing the specifics of my addiction on this public forum, but if you would like to discuss anything on a personal level, feel free to PM me. By the way, WELCOME to the forum. I didn't realize this post was in the welcome lounge until after I posted my response. Link to post Share on other sites
kelico Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Welcome to AVEN! Thank you for joining and sharing your story with us!! I'm glad you made your way here. : ) It sounds like you've been through quite a lot, but you've battled and fought to get to a place where you can start understanding yourself and your identity, which is awesome. You'll find a lot of supportive people here!! And possibly even more that can relate to your story. I wish you all the best and hope you enjoy being a member! Something more official in addition to my welcome: As part of my welcome to you, I'd like to point out some important threads that might be helpful in your first few days here. The Terms of Service is here. We recommend you read it over, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to send either myself or any other administrator or moderator (the "admod" team, as we're called) a message. Also, there's a handy forum called Site Info, which has some useful information including a thread outlining who moderates which forum. If you ever need something done in or have questions about a specific forum, please message the mod of that forum. And if you have problems with the site in general, or any single member, please message any admod. The following are also nifty links to take a look at: Welcome Lounge Mini Manual | Welcoming 101 | Quick Guide to the Forums | Asexuality FAQ's Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow100 Posted March 19, 2017 Author Share Posted March 19, 2017 Thanks so much for your messages here, I feel very welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
Fluffhead Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I just googled "asexual in recovery" and this was a top link. There's like THREE of us!! We can open a CafePress store now, right? "Asexual and clean: We get off on breathing" Link to post Share on other sites
To Each Their Own Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 I was just cruising the welcome forums, so "hello!" I've been sober for over 30 years. While it is true that I've been asexual longer than that, im pretty sure it's because I was born that way and not because my recovery caused it. In fact, much of my drinking and other self destructive acts were because I living a life that was completely incongruent to who I was mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and even physically. I also had (have) an eating disorder. It took a long time to figure out that it was connected to body dysphoria. Since I was 14 I had anorexia. I never knew why. I just knew that I hated being so "fleshy" and didn't want any curves. I didn't know I could starve my period away. I have always known that I never wanted a child, and I have always had severe dysphoria around the reproductive areas and only every tried to starve them into atrophy. In the past I have even seriously considered using oven cleaner when I was denied a hysterectomy (yet again). However, finding out that I was trans had been life-changing for me, and yet another layer to my recovery. Anyway, just wanted to say, it doesn't matter what other people say about you. Only you know what your journey has been like. You are valid. Welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbow100 Posted June 11, 2017 Author Share Posted June 11, 2017 Hi all, thanks for your replies. When talking about asexuality and addiction, I didn't mean that the two were linked in that my addiction caused asexuality or the other way round. In the world of addiction, the word 'anorexic' is used to describe more than just an eating disorder type. Anorexia means 'lack of appetite' and can be applied socially, emotionaly and sexualy. So because I have never been interested in sex, the addictions world see that as part of a personality type that denies nutrients generally, someone who engages in deprivation be it social, emotional, sexual or in relation to food. I am outwardly a quiet and shyish person, so this model would say that I am anorexic in more ways than just foodwise, then when I told them about my feelings about sex, it fit nicely into this model. I am furious about this as I have tried, for years, to force my sexuality into a disorder category rather than being able to embrace it and connect with other like minded people. Can you imagine the uproar if the addiction model said that all gays are just disordered in some way? It's the same thing. I'm still working through my anger on this matter as you can probably tell. I'm gonna be meeting up with the Guildford lot soon and that should disperse some of this isolation about my sexuality. I now doubt the validity of the whole addiction model because of this massive flaw and the insistence that it is 'the truth'. I have no doubt that I have had drug and alcohol problems and because of that should probably never touch them again, but I don't think that I'm a true addict in the way that the 12 step fellowships would have me believe. Rant over guy, thank you for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
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