Midland Tyke

How old were you when you found asexuality?

35 posts in this topic

I guess I lucked out. Yeah, I know there's a lot of comments about having a girlfriend or getting married, but I must've appeared 'happy' to most people so it wasn't much pressure from folks (my parents especially).

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I am 28 years old and I already know for almost 10 years. But I still had two relationships, the first one lasted three years and the second one four years, where I engaged in having sex. I have never told them, maybe they knew and just did not care. I always thought "Nononononono, goddammit, just let me be normal, like everyone else. If I am true to myself and accept it, everything will be so difficult. I do not want to be alone. If I confess and break up, I will never find anyone else." So, I did it. I always knew it was wrong, but the thought of being alone scared me more than having sex. It was never forced or violent, but I always saw it as an obligation like "Oh snap, already two weeks since we did it. I'm visiting him tonight. Oh well." I am not in a relationship since two years and on one hand I really feel at ease, but on the other hand I do not even have to try to go on a date, because it will lead to nothing. Even if the gods are in my favor and I find someone who is also asexual, I will always ask myself: "Is he only acting interested, because he does not want to be alone as well?"

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1 hour ago, TheLastOfSheila said:
14 hours ago, will123 said:

Heck I didn't really make any attempt to have a girlfriend, so I'm really puzzled when I read this ^

Why puzzled? 

Also, some aces are romantic and wanted romantic relationships (which also, all too often meant some pressure to engage in sex as well - which is not to say the pressure was purely external nor ill-intentioned). I wanted (or thought I wanted) a girlfriend, and always thought that would also eventually lead to sex. Without the knowledge of asexuality and the knowledge of sex I have now I didn't really know I wouldn't want sex once it was available.

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29-30. A lot of googling/research. Found the demisexual tumblr then found AVEN.

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One day I was cleaning out my bathroom cabinets and in the back was this little...

 

I think I was 26 the first time I looked it up. 

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