mackat5 Posted April 3, 2006 Share Posted April 3, 2006 I'm an amatuer writer, and the following was written last year and was in Whosoever, an online magazine.Please don't ignore me. I am here, and I am a part of the human race, but most people don't know what to do with me, nor do they understand who I am. You see, I am asexual. Now, I admit, I 'm not discriminated against. This is worse, I am ignored, or I'm told that there is someone out there for me. They don't understand that maybe all I want is friendship.The problem is that Kinsey didn't put asexuality on his scale. Even he, with all his studies and asking people about their sexual orientation did not comprehend that there might be some who don't want anything to do with sex.Now, beyond that when I get into most groups, I feel like the ultimate outsider. In most groups, people around me are partnered with somebody, or have been. And most that I know, if they are single, are looking.Even the people in churches don't get it. Not even most of the folks who go to UFMCC really don't understand that I don't want a sex partner, I just want friends. The problem is that the fine folks of the churches usually are married or have partners. They don't hassle me or put me down for being single and never being married, but they don't understand me either. I do get some acceptance, but even in the churches, I find myself on the outside because there is not a group for me.There was a pastor at a church where I'm a member who would talk about relationships and the difficulties that people have who are married. I never could make him understand that my questions about life and relationships are different because I'm single and don't plan to be married or otherwise partnered. He kept telling me that what he was talking about could be reworded slightly to fit my situation.So don't ignore me, see me, I am here! Don't turn your back or say that I'm wrong in saying that there's no partner for me. Don't ignore me, try to understand that being asexual is a valid sexual orientation. Don't turn your back on me, be my friend, for that is what I want. Don't ignore me, love me. I don't need sex to know that I am loved, just hug me and agree to be around me. 2014 Mod Edit: Link to Whosoever Link to post Share on other sites
Wario Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Am I the only one who finds it ironic that in a topic titled, "Don't Ignore Me," nobody responded? Link to post Share on other sites
Brodertun Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 To be quite honest - this is the first I've noticed the thread. I imagine it was new one of those times when my browser locked up/closed automatically and I didn't have time to go through 7 pages of old messages to find the new ones Link to post Share on other sites
141822 Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Thanks for sharing that :D (I don't know how I missed this thread :? ) Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Hanover Posted March 30, 2007 Share Posted March 30, 2007 I am a returning member. I have not visited the forum in a while and missed this interesting topic. It is so very well written and I am sure effectively summed up how many of us asexuals feel. I too am tired of family members and friends trying to encourage me to date and constantly referring to the empty fact that someone is out there for me...always ignoring that I my not being interested in sex is some sort of strange phase and probably resulted from me not finding the right person I have been happily celibate for many, many years. You would think that by now they would understand that I am ok with this...Why don't they get it?!!!. Thank you for this. I printed it! Link to post Share on other sites
Seien Hananosei Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 I can relate to that. People can't seem to comprehend asexuality. Most people I meet say 'you just haven't found the right person' or 'you had a bad relationship'. It's like they think it's just not possible to not be interested. Even homosexual people don't understand. :? Link to post Share on other sites
chatha Posted May 18, 2007 Share Posted May 18, 2007 Wow... that post sums up all my thoughts on being asexual and how we get treated at church and by friends. Wow. Fantastic post! Link to post Share on other sites
bbctv Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 yeah, i got a bit pissed at a christian guy i know who when i told him i was asexual said "well, that's the gift of being single!" as if i didn't get lonely or need an intimate, longterm committed emotional relationship just since i didn't need sex. not that i'm maligning his religious beliefs, just that i don't think people GET it. in fact, i'm SURE that most of them don't. Link to post Share on other sites
violeteyedsoul Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 I can relate to that. People can't seem to comprehend asexuality. Most people I meet say 'you just haven't found the right person' or 'you had a bad relationship'. It's like they think it's just not possible to not be interested. Even homosexual people don't understand. :? O M G !!! that is so D**M TRUE! My Mom has been putting me through the ringer for DECADES now, and won't give up! And she says that EXACT SAME THING! I've actually thought of just bringing a girl home and telling her and my WHOLE FAMILY that I'm married just to get her and everyone off my back! ... ... And the more I think about it the more it seems worth it. lol! Link to post Share on other sites
violeteyedsoul Posted July 10, 2007 Share Posted July 10, 2007 yeah, i got a bit pissed at a christian guy i know who when i told him i was asexual said "well, that's the gift of being single!" as if i didn't get lonely or need an intimate, longterm committed emotional relationship just since i didn't need sex. not that i'm maligning his religious beliefs, just that i don't think people GET it. in fact, i'm SURE that most of them don't. Yeah. I get that too. Infact I've been taught that if you don't want to do it then you don't need nor want an intimate relationship! When actually the exact opposite is true. *shakes head!* Link to post Share on other sites
Zanedia Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I think it's really stupid that people think you can't have close/intimate relationships without sex being involved. Interestingly, most of the most alienating relationships I've ever heard of ALL involved sex. Just because I have no desire to "do the nasty" with someone else doesn't mean that I am socially inept or can't have close friends/friendships. I just don't need someone else to help me get off! To me, it's about like asking someone to wipe your ass after taking a huge dump or having diarrhea. Ew. I don't need help. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of it myself. In fact, I can even do a better job. LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
LoneHowler Posted July 23, 2007 Share Posted July 23, 2007 So true! I've had many time where I told someone then the walk all over my opinion saying impossible you just haven't found your one yet, they act as if asexuals can't possibly exist. then one said I thought you are asexual when I was teasing a guy, like I am incapable of even liking people, just because I have no interest in having sex with them. Link to post Share on other sites
PetraNotMyRealName Posted February 4, 2008 Share Posted February 4, 2008 The fact that Kinsey didn't include "asexuality" on his scale is the perfect opportunity for a thesis or dissertation on the subject which could come from many different directions. It is a psychiatric/mental-health issue, it's a Cultural issue, it's a Societal issue, it may be a Biological/Chemical issue, an Evolutionary issue, even a Religous issue since most religions subscribe to the notion of procreation and raising offspring within said religion. I'm sure there are many other avenues to approach this issue from, I just can't think at the moment. Something for current students to think about anyway. You have a community right here at your disposal and since there's not a great deal of literature currently on the subject, it's something that hasn't been "DONE TO DEATH". Link to post Share on other sites
Shaggy Posted October 2, 2008 Share Posted October 2, 2008 Nice post :D Link to post Share on other sites
purissimus Posted October 3, 2008 Share Posted October 3, 2008 I really like your post. ^_^ And I agree with what you said, asexuality is a valid sexual orientation. Link to post Share on other sites
Xero Posted October 4, 2008 Share Posted October 4, 2008 I love it. It's just way more than half of how the A population feels. Link to post Share on other sites
mackat5 Posted October 5, 2008 Author Share Posted October 5, 2008 Thank you all of you. This was written BEFORE I became active in AVEN. Link to post Share on other sites
Raisin Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 Please don't ignore me. I am here, and I am a part of the human race, but most people don't know what to do with me, nor do they understand who I am. You see, I am asexual. Now, I admit, I 'm not discriminated against. This is worse, I am ignored, or I'm told that there is someone out there for me. They don't understand that maybe all I want is friendship. This is so true. Sometimes I feel lucky that there aren't 'asexual bashers' or 'a-phobes' or anything like that, but then I remember that people can't even be bothered to recognize that asexuality exists. To hate something or be outspoken against something, you have to at least recognize that it exists. When people completely ignore asexuality or shoot it down as a problem that will be fixed with time, how are we supposed to feel? Thank you for writing this. :) Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted October 11, 2008 Share Posted October 11, 2008 I'm not sure what's worse, being mass ignored or being mass hated/disliked. Link to post Share on other sites
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