How important is your asexuality to your identity?

[Kamkyo]

I'm not sure whether I'm Aro-ace or Het-ace but either way, barring the occasional 'you're going to live and die alone and without ever meeting anyone else like you' moments in my own head, neither has a huge impact on how others see me since most people don't know. It's deeply connected to my personal identity but not my public one, if that makes any sense? But I have actually been really open with my circle of friends about that part of my identity, it's just not common knowledge for anyone else. I would say that my asexuality is the more important one since if I ever do work out my romantic orientation it will still make things harder for me.

[aeimquy159]

My romantic orientation is more important. I've never had much sex so being asexual changed nothing in my life. Deciding not to date anymore because I'm aromantic has had a much larger impact on my life. 

[Ravaillac]

I think the whole idea of identity is stupid and encourages nasty tribalism and an "us vs them" mentality. Being asexual is something I just deal with and I try to keep it from dictating my life.

[Hermit Advocate]

I think my sexual orientation came more as a shock to me. I didn't even know asexuality was an option whereas I always knew I wasn't interested in people romantically speaking. However, I think my aromanticism effects my daily life more so than my sexual orientation. It is considered more socially acceptable to discuss someone's romantic life than someone's sex life. Now if I could just get people IRL to leave me alone. 

[ave c]

I consider it very important towards my identity. It affects the kinds of relationships I desire and carry out with people. Being an aromatic asexual means every relationship I get into will be a platonic friendship. And when people know that I'm this way, they'll know what to expect from me and behave accordingly, and that will affect our interactions.

[Sherlocks]

My sexuality is a secondary result of my personality, ego and already existing defense mechanisms 

[AceCadmirer]

Since I am currently looking for a relationship my romantic side is more important. However i don't flaunt my identities around because having someone like me for who I am matters more. Being homoromantic is just a perk. Everything else that will need to be dealt with will be dealt with when the time comes. 

[Sylvastor]

My identity is my personality and what shapes me as a whole person, so there is nothing that is more important than something else. Whether romantic or sexual attraction, it doesn't matter. I consider all aspects of my personality to be equally important as the slightest change means being a different person or a new self.

At the same thing, this is part of personal growth: A fluent change of aspects of your personality and it shouldn't be halted but directed for what is best for you.

 

Anyway, since my reply is steering slightly off-topic (but I felt it was important to point out), let's get to the other question:

If I had to write my romantic and sexual orientation, I would only do so in the order most people do it on this site for reasons of simplicity, which is romantic orientation first, sexual orientation second. After all, it makes sense on a website for asexuality. The sexuality part is more or less "secondary", because most people who are here are in fact asexual and became part of this community for this very reason. What differentiates most* of us on this website is the romantic orientation and in most cases only details of the sexuality. That's how I see it.

 

_*

Spoiler

Don't worry, I would never dare to forget about our sexual members!

[Kelpie]

I think my romantic orientation is definitely more important than my sexuality. Who I want to date (gender-wise basically everyone, so bi- or panromantic or whatever) is more important to me than sex.