The-world-is-quiet-here Posted November 23, 2017 Share Posted November 23, 2017 1. I look really good in lipstick, no matter my a/gender 2. I recently connected with someone who’s genderfluid who had been in one of my group programs. We started talking on facebook messenger, and she wants to meet with me too! I was so excited that she remembered me and wants to be my friend. It seems like I know a surprising amount of genderfluid people- like 4 or 5, and it’s so cool to know people who have a similar gender to me! Like, wow, I’m so lucky 3. I finally ordered that pretty binder with my dad! So I should get it in approximately 6 weeks. *is anxious but also excited* 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 23, 2017 Author Share Posted November 23, 2017 Had a dream last night where I was undoubtedly female in my dream. This usually doesn’t happen. Usually I’m just a vague person in my dreams. In this dream I was wearing the most beautiful turquoise dress. It fit me perfectly and I was just female. It was great <3 11 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted November 24, 2017 Share Posted November 24, 2017 So.... I just had the whole gender talk (again) with my very unsuportive/(fakely "supportive" as in "I still support you because you're my 'daughter'") dad.... He had asked me if my girlfriend has a boyfriend and in the moment I lied terribly and said no, but then also said the truth that she and I are in an intimate non romantic relationship. Anyway, like ten minutes later I was feeling bad about the lie and very frustrated about never speaking up after the first disastrous talks because I was too afraid of that reaction. I hated that I had felt forced to be dishonest just to avoid that conversation, because I really value honesty and I'm apparently "okay" with remaining quiet about how I feel to avoid what would otherwise be daily conflict but having to outright lie was too much. So I went back out and told him the truth and brought up again how I feel like a man and how I am a man. I said a lot that I knew his opinion and I simply disagreed with it just as he disagreed with mine. I tried to be as diplomatic as possible even after he asked me how it was possible that I felt like a man and we ended up in that super frustrating talk for half an hour. I was a bit rude a few times towards the end but honestly so was he. All in all I was terrified and didn't know what I was doing and I'm still scared this is gonna come back to bite me in the ass and the first chance he gets he'll corner me in the car and give me the worst version of the ultra transphobic rant yet. But it was something I felt I needed to do after so long of never saying any of that to him.. And yeah, if he does corner me in the car and tell me all those things, I think I will just be quiet while he lets that all out and just go somewhere else in my mind. Nothing I say will ever change the way he thinks and I just don't want to waste more energy on talks with him, I just didn't want to be directly dishonest like that. But anyway, I'm definitely so much stronger and confident in myself now than I used to be like a year ago. Like whoa I can't believe I just did that. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lirpaderp Posted November 25, 2017 Share Posted November 25, 2017 The binder I finally order has failed delivery to my dorm.... I can't call them because my family will hear and ask what I bought. I emailed but I don't know if they'll respond in time. I really want this, but I can't do anything about it without my family knowing. I was told any mail sent to my dorm would be held until it opens again, but the email says it might be sent back. One good thing, I finally explained myself to my friend. Someone else had told him, but I wanted to be the one to do it. It felt good to explain myself to him, even if it was only through text. I basically just said I'm confused and like being called he, but it was good to tell him 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
daveb Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 For the last couple of weeks or so I have been wearing my nails a bit longer than is normally acceptable for males, with polish (for the first week or so, a metallic bluish green; currently, a metallic purplish pink (amethyst?)), openly and in public to board game meetups (where my hands and nails are quite noticeable as I play games with people) and everywhere else. No one has said anything (other than my sister and nieces complimenting the colors). Doing this while otherwise presenting as male. 8 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Kimmie. Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 That makes me smile @daveb 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 26, 2017 Share Posted November 26, 2017 Looks like I'm 19 months on T today! I'm definitely at that point where I'm starting to lose track of the number of months, so I keep having to look up the number on my phone One of my (family's) dogs turns 3 years old today too, so I suppose it's all the more reason to celebrate 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted November 26, 2017 Author Share Posted November 26, 2017 There's something weirdly amusing to me about how my two person graduating class from the CS department in college didn't fit stereotypes well. The other guy is gay and I'm...well, I'm me. Continuing reading Whipping Girl and really enjoying it. I thought my eyes would roll out of my head during the chapter on cissexual privilege but she makes some really good points. I liked how she very specifically categorizes transphobia vs cissexual privilege. One thing that got me thinking was how quick most people are to apologize when they realize they've misgendered someone. Normally this happens with cis people, but I believe if a trans person is assertive and incredulous enough, we could benefit too. The book is honestly helping me to feel more confident about asserting that yes, indeed, I am female, and I have just as much right as any cis female person to assert that and expect to be treated as such. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 On November 18, 2017 at 5:13 PM, Andiamo said: At a horse show today, a rider from a different college came up to me and asked me about my pronouns, saying that I was giving them "that sort of vibe." Considering that I have to spend this entire weekend in the most feminine situation (and clothes) that I ever spend time in, that was especially awesome. Update: We had more time to talk the next day. We're friends now. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Starbogen Posted November 27, 2017 Share Posted November 27, 2017 Today is not a great day for me.. I'm not binding and the red dragon has been weirder than usual and came again to ruin my day. But on the bright side a guy who looked like he didn't know where he was going stopped and went into the bathroom when he saw me walking out of it so at least I still pass. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
The-world-is-quiet-here Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 My aunt: “you look like such a biker.... dude!” 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 I might have finally figure out my middle name 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 I was casually called "he" twice within two minutes today? I was at the dining hall, in line for pasta, and one of the servers said was helping the person in front of me. When a second server came up, the first one said, "you can help him," clearly indicating me. Then, as they were helping me, someone else got in line behind me and asked for "the same thing as him" as I was leaving. It was really cool, and kind of made my day. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 So I stubled upon a fashion article and a "what is your style" quiz. It was filled with high heeled shoes, boots (women's), blouses, skirts, dresses, and I was like... wouldn't wear any of this I'm so glad I don't wear this stuff any more. 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Getting names for top surgeons!! The plan is late May or early July. I can’t wait to be free 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 15 minutes ago, ChillaKilla said: Getting names for top surgeons!! The plan is late May or early July. I can’t wait to be free EPIC!!!!! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
RK800 Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 This might be slightly off topic but still felt relevant. I joined a petplay forum and look what they had... I'm both quite happy, surprised, and amused. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheAP Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Did you pick "a banana"? 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 1 hour ago, ChillaKilla said: Getting names for top surgeons!! The plan is late May or early July. I can’t wait to be free Fuck yes! I'm excited for you, my friend. Are you thinking of traveling for your surgery, or are you going to go local? Either way, I'll give you the obligatory "make sure to do your research" comments and hope you find an awesome surgeon who can give you the results you're looking for! 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ChillaKilla Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 7 minutes ago, Mezzo Forte said: Fuck yes! I'm excited for you, my friend. Are you thinking of traveling for your surgery, or are you going to go local? Either way, I'll give you the obligatory "make sure to do your research" comments and hope you find an awesome surgeon who can give you the results you're looking for! I’m gonna stay as local as possible, but I know someone who went to Miami so that guy’s on the list too. I’m asking my network of endocrinologist, gender therapist, and trans-friendly GYN for recommendations 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Finn. Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Exciting news, @ChillaKilla!! Mine pales in comparison, but I am still excited. I got three new flannels today, they were 1/3 of the original price, and they all fit perfectly! I already owned one by that company, I only ever shop there when they have a sale, otherwise it's too expensive for my taste. I got a winter jacket by the same company earlier this year. Everything is a bit longer and wider around the waist, so it's great. I got a blouse for summer too. And this pretty fleece jacket for fall/spring that I hoped to be on sale at some point. All in all I am really happy to improve my wardrobe again, fashion is suddenly fun. Now the only question is, is it weird to wear flannels to work every day? =) Edit: Ooooh, also! I stated my chosen first name for the address, and somehow that made them assume I was male, so they used the title "Mr." on the package. Not my actual preference, but it was really nice too. 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ennis Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 Ahh, the joy of having a cold and singing in a deep deep voice. It feels so great. (if only my nose wasn't running) 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mezzo Forte Posted November 29, 2017 Share Posted November 29, 2017 In other news, my hysterectomy recovery is going well. It's still major surgery, but way less intense than top surgery. This surgery barely took an hour, and even Day 2 recovery (typically the roughest day of any surgical recovery) wasn't that bad. Even though my surgery was technically in a women's center, the staff was really great about gendering me properly and just treating my transness as a non-issue. No questions about future surgeries, transition stuff, or really any of that. The only medical questions were just relevant things like previous experiences with anesthetic, allergies, etc.. Only one nurse misgendered me, and that was only once, before seeing my face, and she was very gender-affirming in her language as she did talk to me. 2 hours ago, ChillaKilla said: I’m gonna stay as local as possible, but I know someone who went to Miami so that guy’s on the list too. I’m asking my network of endocrinologist, gender therapist, and trans-friendly GYN for recommendations Honestly, it's nice to be to recover at home if you can swing that, so I feel you about that. I had my top surgery near the Miami area myself, so I know of at least 3 different surgeons from around there that are pretty renowned, (Dr. Alexander, Dr. Garramone, and Dr. Sassani,) and I personally know people who went to each of those surgeons. I'll gladly answer questions if any of them are surgeons you're considering. Definitely make sure to look up each surgeon's results, and if you can't find results online, the surgeon's office often keeps a private database that they can let you see too. Either way, you sound like you're asking the right people for recommendations. I hope you find the surgeon that's right for you 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Lonemathsytoothbrushthief Posted December 1, 2017 Share Posted December 1, 2017 I told my mum that I'm now thinking about changing my name and she really was the classic example of that, first reaction is what you've been taught but the second is who you really are, thing basically I was upset because at first she reacted kind of quietly and a little coldly(overreading facebook messages though so not necessarily her intentions), but told me she was upset though she understands why. Now she's much more positive about it, and anyway I'm involving her because I want to pick a gender-neutral Austrian name since I want to reflect that part of myself anyway she gave the perfect response when I asked her if it was ok, and said she just has to learn about stuff and get used to it so now I love her so much, like I was crying because of it, okay I'll stop now! I also love this site, am full of love right now. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Andiamo Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 My parents like my chosen name! They've been incredibly supportive (I just came out to them on Thursday), and I love them so much for that. 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Emery. Posted December 3, 2017 Share Posted December 3, 2017 3 hours ago, Andiamo said: My parents like my chosen name! They've been incredibly supportive (I just came out to them on Thursday), and I love them so much for that. Awsome 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
miauw Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 I felt pretty today. Which is a novelty, considering that I don't usually enjoy being aware of being female. I guess it helps that my hair is still very short but finally long enough not to stick straight up, so it softened my look and I happened to like it. It's a nice feeling. 5 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Zsareph Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 I went out to a market completely in guy clothes and a binder yesterday and one of the stall workers called me "mate" and "fella" even after I'd spoken to them 6 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Forgotten Fox Posted December 4, 2017 Share Posted December 4, 2017 Guess who got a new jacket from their brother because it was too small for him + More gender neutral fashion? This kid! 7 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
butterflydreams Posted December 5, 2017 Author Share Posted December 5, 2017 A coworker told me I have good style today and that I always looked classy and nice. Also, I've been more confident about my voice lately, and I don't know why. Just feeling confident that it's not outing me. The confidence I think shows through and makes me pass better. 10 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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